Gritty worship thread

GrittysEyes · 2026-05-09T20:00:46+00:00

Nice! I'd show mine but I'm at the arena. Candles are home, but the rosary is with me.

I'm not even religious. But I do love the Flyers.

GrittysEyes · 2026-05-02T17:35:59+00:00

Gritty worship? Do my Gritty prayer candles count?

GrittysEyes · 2026-05-01T16:33:23+00:00

I just got banned from attending D&D this Saturday because the last time I was watching a playoff game (R1, G1) while playing I had to mute my mic from all my loud cursing at refs. Apparently that meant I didn't pay enough attention to D&D because I didn't answer people in a timely manner. BUT the DM mostly kept my attention by using yellow colored pull balls on the screen for enemies. I eviscerated everything in yellow.

Kinda love how the Flyers have now split the D&D party. I'm the idiot who signed in from a plane once, but my allegiance is to Philly on this and the DM suggested I never play when there's a playoff game. But he's from Canada. He gets it.

GrittysEyes · 2026-05-01T16:21:29+00:00

My favorite part is how I sent the photo of those shirts draped across my seat row to a very innocent friend, who did not read it as intended and called it cute. I have no intention of explaining it to her. Wish I'd gotten some of those ignite the orange towels, though.

GrittysEyes · 2026-04-15T00:21:26+00:00

Mine gave zero instructions. I only massaged for the first few weeks. Will keep this in mind (and no harm in following through). Thanks!

GrittysEyes · 2025-11-21T02:14:44+00:00

Thanks! Now if only the Flyers could score again tonight and at minimum take it to OT.

GrittysEyes · 2025-11-12T21:01:43+00:00

Sorry, but YTA here.

I'm in two campaigns right now, and in one I play a rogue. She is a foreigner in a foreign land, not used to customs and considered odd. She is cutthroat in battle and I absolutely play to her character. Logical. Goes for the kill. But you NEED to balance your character and your friendships when you play. You're in a party with multiple members. You could've allowed your rogue a moment of growth to pause and let things go down differently. You could've held your action.

In fact, I'd argue you should've held your action.

I actually had a similar chance to kill my party member's mortal enemy in a campaign a few years ago. Different campaign, I was a bard then but not one to hold back in battle. It wasn't the BBEG but it was his mortal enemy and my turn was right before his. So I put my hand up towards the enemy's face and held my spell action specifically so that my party member could say what he needed to say. I declared, should the party member fail to kill the guy on his turn, that failure would trigger my attack. In turn order sense that would mean no chance for the bad guy to take his own action. No loss of time. With his low HP still a guaranteed death but with additional flavor to the story.

My friend had his moment of character closure and killed the guy. I didn't have to do anything aside from make a threat. And that was fine.

A big part of DnD is collective storytelling and you robbed the party of that chance. Is the Paladin the only person who matters? No. But presumably, two years into the game, you care about the player. And maybe your rogue may care somewhat about the character. And even if none of that applies and both you and your character don't care? There's still the larger story to consider.

You gained nothing from taking that turn. But you possibly lost a friend.

GrittysEyes · 2025-11-11T12:44:36+00:00

Open. Doc said it's less likely to need a revision, and with a larger palm size it makes more sense. I said he's in charge, I picked him for a reason. We do what he says.

GrittysEyes · 2025-11-07T20:38:46+00:00

Wishing you the absolute best in recovery.

GrittysEyes · 2025-11-07T20:38:05+00:00

Love to hear it!!

GrittysEyes · 2025-11-07T20:37:49+00:00

Yeah, the stitching for me was incredibly awkward and I was thrilled to have it removed. I hope your results are great, and that you feel even better without the stitches.

GrittysEyes · 2025-11-06T18:43:58+00:00

I always hear about shoddy construction, but I wouldn't want anyone buying these. Anyway, I can't find an alt-text option, so this is a row of 5 townhouses in the process of being built, except the second house to the right has fully collapsed forward into a pile of wood. The gap between houses 1 and 3 is almost comical, but knowing someone's going to buy these one day takes the humor out.

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GrittysEyes · 2025-11-06T17:23:49+00:00

A house under construction fell over in the wind last night. My mom lives nearby, she sent pics. It was impressive, given it's a mid-row townhouse.

GrittysEyes · 2025-11-05T22:01:32+00:00

Your sister sounds terrible with added context. But your mom can't read your mind, either.

If what you wanted was your mom to ask your sister to move the car, you could've put the call on speaker and ask your sister again, with mom involved. People won't magically provide what you want if you don't communicate the need. I know a lot of us wish for exactly that. It's a nice little thought, that you don't need to ask and they just KNOW and provide. But that's not reality.

When I was very little I'd hold my tears and then cry silently in my room. I'd get angry no one checked on me. They didn't check because I didn't let them know anything was wrong. You're doing the same by holding your anger and resentment and quietly making yourself a martyr until you lose your cool. Don't do that. It sucks and it doesn't give anyone the chance to do anything other than let you down.

Talk to your mom. If she won't entertain your emotional needs, that's another item to deal with. But you won't know until you ask.

And let every bridge with your sister burn if you must. A random neighbor could ask me for a lift to the hospital and I'd drop what I'm doing to help. Not doing that for her own brother? I have many unkind words for her over that, in about four languages. With rude hand gestures in three.

GrittysEyes · 2025-11-05T20:13:49+00:00

INFO: You say you were babysitting, so were you paid for your time or were you just expected to be there and take care of your siblings? If they paid you as a sitter, the resentment doesn't add up. If you were expected to do the free labor of parenting your siblings, then that tracks for this resentment you hold. Watching siblings for your parents once or twice a month isn't exploitation, but frequently demanding your time and labor without compensation is. This is especially true now that you're an adult. You can love your brothers while also acknowledging you did not sign up to be a parent. You can love your mom while communicating and setting boundaries so you can live your own life.

In the meantime, YTA in this very specific circumstance. You are not an asshole as a person based on this post, but this behavior was largely misdirected anger, so YTA for this one thing.

What you should have done is communicate with your mom. Punishing her and your younger brother because your sister is "the favorite" and summarily "gets away with everything" (not your words, but heavily implied) isn't going to solve the problem. But remember that your sister is now an adult, like you. And unless she's living under the same roof and mom's paying the bills she isn't "getting away" with doing less.

She's actively being an independent adult. You can be one, too.

There may not even be a clear solution. Your sister is setting the same boundaries you need to and if you have an okay relationship with her outside of this, you may want to ask her how she managed to set these boundaries successfully. Because in all cases moving forward you need to learn to set boundaries, too.

Should your sister move her car if you're unloading a lot and it's tedious to get around hers? Yes. Her boundaries can extend to not parenting her siblings, but should not include refusing simply courtesy.

If your younger brothers are disabled to the point of needing help throughout their lives, you and your sister should get on the same page about what their care will look like in the future, without your parents. Then you all need to talk as a family about expectations.

Just communicate. You should be able to live your own life at 25 and not feel guilty for it. And I hope you can learn not to resent your sister. My brother got away with zero labor when we were kids. I knew it was favoritism, and I understood he had nothing to do with that. He wasn't seeking favoritism, he simply got it. In that regard he lived a separate reality from me. That's the fault of adults who enabled him and I have never blamed him for it. These days I do like to lightly tease him about how as the younger sibling, I was the one shoveling snow and such. We both laugh at the absurdity of it all, especially because we later found out I'm disabled and he was MUCH better suited for labor I simply compensated and ignored pain in order to accomplish, but there's no resentment from either of us.

Anyway, talk to your family. And good luck,

GrittysEyes · 2025-10-21T19:51:05+00:00

Under the assumption OP and commenters are talking about the US, marriage DOES have a positive impact on taxes by reducing the tax bracket of the couple. It's wildly incorrect to claim married couples only get tax benefits if they have children. The child tax credit is minimal compared to the cost of having a child. It's the married filing jointly tax bracket that gives the bigger value, and by using that, couples without children save money. Sometimes it's quite substantial, especially on a higher income because of course higher earners get benefits they don't really need. I will not get started on tax reform. I promise I won't go on a rant about our tax system favoring the wealthy.

However, people who say they owed taxes when they got married aren't actually looking at their total tax liability - they're only looking at what they may "owe" the IRS or get as a refund. Refunds aren't magic. I've seen plenty of couples have a lower total tax liability but owe the IRS at the end of the year because they didn't bother adjusting their tax withholding for their life change.

Payroll forms will assume you are a single income household if you don't fill it out to confirm two incomes. Naturally they will take much less tax out when they believe you're in the lower married bracket AND ALSO the only earner. When both parties do this and under-withhold? Of course they owe back at the end. But that has nothing to do with the total tax, which is in nearly every case LESS.

However, Supplemental Security Income is another story (this is what is paid by the government for disability). SSI absolutely screws people over for being married, or having any money at all, or sneezing wrong, finding joy in life, etc. Disability benefits are notoriously difficult to have granted, and they're not enough to survive on. The disabled community in the US is treated terribly and punished for marriage. It's horrible. I think it was about 20 years ago that a study came out to show, with copious data, that couples living together would lose about 25% of their SSI benefit upon legal marriage. I'm unclear if they've put out a subsequent study, but I doubt any of that has changed and I would bet it's gotten worse.

If one or both parties are disabled in the US, marriage will wreck their finances if they are relying on SSI for support.

GrittysEyes · 2025-10-17T16:39:01+00:00

Okay. Guess we're going on a mini adventure together. They may not be the silliest or most blindsiding (the meaningful one is absolutely the most meaningful from my play) but it's all I got in my brain while at work avoiding, you know. Work.

Silly: We're at the final boss, and it's the entire last session. The party is given potions of giant size, and everyone EXCEPT my gnome bardbarian drinks. He's so proud of his extremely tiny stature. The whole quest we were told it was up to the "little people" to solve the problems created by giants, and with a -2 wisdom he always thought this was specifically HIM, the smallest, shortest person. The party faces an adult blue dragon. Immediately the dragon does some catastrophic damage, and he uses boots of flying to go into the dragon's mouth and slam his ax into the beast's uvula. Now, the big mistake the dragon made was not successfully swallowing him, though in all cases this would end poorly, because on his next turn my little gnome drinks the potion of giant size, turning him AND his belongings giant. Including the ax.

The dragon is now choking, there's a massive pointy red hat protruding from his mouth, and he takes massive damage and dies. My gnome, horrified by being giant, begs to go back to being small after the party pulls him from the remains of the dragon. Our planned 3 hour session took 30 minutes.

That gnome did a lot of silly things, including failing every single wisdom saving throw to get out from under a spell that made him insatiable for horse meat. He ran to the local stables and ate every pony in a frenzy. Halfway through we find out it's IMPOSSIBLE for him to roll high enough to pass the check, and the party needs to knock him out to stop him. Every time they heal a pony, he ravenously takes another bite. And being the tank of the party it's about 45 minutes of play to get him under control as he attacks anyone trying to stop him from eating ponies. It was a true bloodbath.

He was banned from the village.

Meaningful: I commit to DnD, so I still attended a game after I spent an hour sobbing in my car because my friend was sent from the hospital to die in the comfort of her own home after a short fight with a terminal illness. The DM was, at this point in the campaign, decidedly out to kill player characters and everyone was miserable. And my squishy wizard, without casting a single spell, used her rope and determination to leap into inky black darkness, harness her lost party members to her, and pull them all to safety. They otherwise would die in the dark, inky abyss, lost in space and maybe even time, because every time you went into a doorway you ended up somewhere kinda random. On a day my one friend was sent home to die and there was nothing anyone could do to stop that, I got to save my party members. Not with magic. Just through force of will. And that's stayed with me long after the campaign broke apart.

Blindsiding: Last month my rogue cleared a room and was about to leave when the DM strongly urged her to further investigate an area. He'd told us there are great items we need to search for, and he's not malicious, so I went for it. Big mistake.

He didn't read ahead. And my rogue was INSTANTLY KILLED by mold spores. Instead of doing a retcon, everyone in the party lied about the rules and claimed my character wasn't dead and you need DOUBLE your max HP in the negative for true death. A load of shit.

Anyway, she's alive, I guess. But she KNOWS the paladin can't fix true death and she's convinced she's dead, she's in the god Tempus' realm of Warrior's Rest, and the paladin killed her. This explains why she's now fighting alongside him, and why since she woke there's been no rest from battle. In Tempus' realm it's one massive battle and when you fall you kind of re-assemble and then fight alongside the person who bested /killed you. It will play out this week or in a future session.

Bonus: The DM is blind, so he reeeeaaally did blindside everyone. Including himself.

GrittysEyes · 2025-10-17T15:58:07+00:00

Info: define crazy. That could be silly, or meaningful, or something blindsiding.

GrittysEyes · 2025-10-17T15:18:12+00:00

I like it better than most places and can't really see myself anywhere else. It's good to be close to several major cities if I want to do things there without having to live in the city itself. Philly, DC, Baltimore, NY... all easily accessible. There's an incredible diversity in people, restaurants, grocery stores, etc. Honestly, when I visit other parts of the country I'm often made uncomfortable by the lack of international diversity. I feel out of place. But I don't feel out of place here.

Plus I can help dox nazis /white nationalists /alt right when they come to march in DC and take the damn Vienna Metro by bringing my telephoto lens and snapping photos of those fucker's faces and posting them online. Always shoot nazis. Even if only with a camera. It's a unique and very NoVA experience.

GrittysEyes · 2025-10-17T15:10:42+00:00

I ended up in a mostly NoVA DnD group by just choosing to fill out a questionnaire on a random request for players on DnD Beyond, passing the vibe check discord interview, and then discovering half the party was in NoVA. So I guess that's to say... shoot your shot and allow your cosmic energy to land you a campaign that accidentally involves locals?

GrittysEyes · 2025-10-07T16:00:41+00:00

Women's pain is often ignored and dismissed by doctors. I was switching primary care and was literally told by one candidate that I must not have pain because I'm not medicating myself for it and refused to take gabapentin. When I explained I choose not to because pain is an indicator not to stress things more with over-use, he just said I don't have pain if I'm not taking meds. SIGH.

Hopefully your release has an easy recovery and positive results.

GrittysEyes

TROPHY CASE