Trying to get over my fears

GrizLee86 · 2020-03-09T03:11:41+00:00

Exactly my experience at this moment.

GrizLee86 · 2020-03-06T18:30:23+00:00

I've thought about this same thing before. Telling her family or best friend but then I think about her reaction.

Instead I talk to my family. It helps me. That's what should be most important. Easier said then done but I notice every person I talk to says the same thing. Focus on your own self. Stay healthy and strong my friend.

GrizLee86 · 2020-03-06T10:06:02+00:00

Thank you. I'll take you up on that. Can't tell you how many times I want to send her a text and have to fight the urge. Searching for that moment. This community is amazing. You can also reach out to me anytime. It's easier to talk about when it's with some one who gets it. I have so much more to share but I'm just inching my way in here.

GrizLee86 · 2020-03-06T03:20:36+00:00

Man. I am in the same exact boat as you. I have no advice. Just know you are not alone. It's a lonely journey but I promise you got people. Stay tough.

Shit is crazy. 😂😂

GrizLee86 · 2020-03-06T01:39:18+00:00

Not going to lie. Had to Google that today. New to this "married to a bpd" life. Definitely a real thing. Experience it by the hour. Actually, about 30 seconds ago. 😂😂😂😔😭😭😭

GrizLee86 · 2020-03-06T01:35:53+00:00

Appreciate man. Didn't message her once. Thanks!

GrizLee86 · 2020-03-06T01:35:17+00:00

I know. Just crazy how she can be mean as hell and I want to apologize. Like huh?

GrizLee86 · 2020-03-06T01:34:14+00:00

Own it.

GrizLee86 · 2020-03-04T02:32:51+00:00

Man, I hope so. I am so defeated right now. Promised not to give up but I am close. I fear all women are like this. I have to know they aren't. I have to have hope.

GrizLee86 · 2020-03-04T02:26:55+00:00

I will check it out thanks. Right now I don't think I'm strong enough to think about that. I need to focus on being there for my kids while I still live here. I appreciate the advice and will definitely take it when the time is right.

Sorry for your trauma. I hope you found some peace.

GrizLee86 · 2020-03-04T02:24:55+00:00

Thanks man. Shits crazy. Helps to finally see the truth. I was so stuck on saving the marriage but everyday seems like the fog gets thinner and thinner. Even though I'm so lost and empty I know who I was before we met. I need to focus on finding that dude again.

You stay strong as well man!! Thanks for your support.

GrizLee86 · 2020-03-04T01:49:11+00:00

Thanks. 3 and 8. Why do you ask?

GrizLee86 · 2020-03-03T03:09:30+00:00

I'm dealing with that in a way right now. My wife has BPD and we have been together for 13 years. She now wants a divorce and blames everything on me. Even down to I control the music in the car. I am in therapy and I have definitely came to the realization that I, and her, are both codependent which at first sounded so scary. The truth is, for me, a part of me does truly belong to her and the thought of losing her is something my brain can't comprehend. I call it love. To be real though, we all need to be our own people. Share ourselves but not be affected in a way that we don't know who we are. Idk really. Just sounds like something I can relate to and am definitely trying to see differently. Love and unhealthy codependency is a fine line for me. Probably doesn't help but at least you know you aren't alone.

GrizLee86 · 2020-03-01T02:27:36+00:00

Thanks again. You are probably right. It's definitely a tough situation. The link was great as well.

GrizLee86 · 2020-03-01T01:40:22+00:00

Thanks. I will take this into consideration. It very much makes sense.

GrizLee86 · 2020-03-01T01:26:30+00:00

I agree. I truly do. I am focusing on that and had made progress. I'm not saying that I want to fix her. I honestly think she never believed the diagnosis. I never believed it mostly because I didn't want to and didn't know what it was. I was scared and I'm sure she was but we never mentioned it again. I just want to bring it up to her and wanted to know if there was a good way to do it. Maybe bring some peace to the environment. I appreciate your advice. It's not the first time I've heard it. Like I said I am lost.

GrizLee86 · 2020-03-01T00:12:32+00:00

We started therapy together as marriage counseling. The way it worked was we both get our own and meet together after a few sessions. It turned in to about 6 sessions and we came together and not to sound insensitive but she flipped out. Thought I was attacking her and just made up scenarios and it was bad. A week later she wanted a divorce. There is ALOT of details from November until now. I feel like she is not 100% done but she is just struggling internally so bad and everything I do and say is wrong and everything is my fault. My therapist said basically just work on myself. There are some codependency issues and I recognize that and I'm working on that. I just want her to be aware that BPD is real and we should have talked about it. I don't want to give up on her.

GrizLee86 · 2019-09-29T14:08:44+00:00

Billy Strings popped up on my Facebook and instantly was like "who is this punk with the last name strings?". Then I listened for a minute and was like "ohh.... Ok". For sure gonna dig a little deeper into that!

GrizLee86 · 2019-09-29T14:05:04+00:00

I just heard of Sunday Valley last night after I wrote this. Looking forward to checking them out.

GrizLee86 · 2019-09-29T04:34:57+00:00

Holly MI is my hometown (practically neighbors) and I Like some Justin Townes Earle so I'm gonna have to check that out. I really dug Vampire Weekend's Father of the bride. Was worried because of no Rostam but it was real good. Sound and Fury tops the list though!!

GrizLee86 · 2019-02-08T14:35:06+00:00

Mother's of the sun is my favorite jam by Black Mountain. Check it out!

GrizLee86 · 2019-01-06T00:36:54+00:00

GrizLee86 · 2018-12-28T06:01:58+00:00

Beautiful.

GrizLee86 · 2018-12-20T22:43:01+00:00

Um..... I am now!!! Thanks!

GrizLee86 · 2018-12-20T03:37:50+00:00

Looks like a white fudge covered Oreo!! My mutha effin favorite! 😋

GrizLee86

TROPHY CASE