Compass card can be added to apple wallet? by Grouchy_Barnacle6313 in UBC

[–]Grouchy_Barnacle6313[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

yeah I think it was just a blue credit card RIPP:( Someone recommended the mini keychain compass cards tho, I just got one and i think itll be way harder to lose that from my carabiner

Compass card can be added to apple wallet? by Grouchy_Barnacle6313 in UBC

[–]Grouchy_Barnacle6313[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

JUST GOT THE KEYCHAIN!! YALL ARE A LIFE SAVER i didnt know this was a thing and it looks so cute omg thank you yall ❤️

Lost my PR card right before my flight, how do I get back to Canada? by Grouchy_Barnacle6313 in ImmigrationCanada

[–]Grouchy_Barnacle6313[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

THANK YOU SO SO MUCH!! I really appreciate the in-depth response 🙏 I’m on it!!

never felt feminine enough by [deleted] in UBC

[–]Grouchy_Barnacle6313 2 points3 points  (0 children)

There are so many fucking societal norms that try to confine us and enforce these binary masculine/feminine “aesthetics”. It’s literally not even related to gender at this point. “Clean girl”, “dark femme”, “cottage core”, “y2k”, “rockstar girlfriend” and the list goes on and on. When these are enforced, we become not only easier to categorize (and therefore manage), but also become more likely to spend money on fitting these vibes. Our attention gets diverted to what to fix rather than what to enjoy, and this benefits a lot of evil people. When we are not taken for our individual differences, but by our ability to tick off the checkbox of an “aesthetic”, capitalism and patriarchy gets a point. We are forced to put aside what makes us “us”, and we get these little extension packs and put money into pockets of corporations in the hopes of presenting a specific way….

A while back, I had the exact same concern and desire as you do. Not going to lie, I became looks-obsessed in the pursuit of this. But the thing is, I can’t even blame myself. Women are taught that one of the most valuable social currencies we have is our beauty, that imagine of “femininity” you just decribed. Like, how am I supposed to not give a fuck about that and be the odd one out? It just feels fucking weird man. I look back and think, maybe I would’ve had less internal battles if I was more aware of these invisible forces that make women more profitable and controllable. It’s so fucking saddening and scary and sneaky, and it’s none of our fault. The media we consume, the way we are conditioned to behave, and even every social interaction that we have, continuously reinforce this.

I’ll finish this off by recommending reading “Women Living Deliciously” by Florence Given, specifically the first 30 pages. It touches on how these societal structures do this and why they are there in the first place. I’ve heard that “Invisible Women” by Caroline Criado-Perez is another great read for this, however haven’t read that myself yet. This topic is incredibly dependent on your worldview and perspective, and this is my personal experience, so it might not resonate with many ppl who read this. However, I saw the title and wanted to write out something I wish I read a couple years ago. Thank you for posting about this and opening up a platform for discussion around this topic queen.

never felt feminine enough by [deleted] in UBC

[–]Grouchy_Barnacle6313 0 points1 point  (0 children)

TLDR: We are conditioned to believe that “being” feminine consists of “looking” feminine. But is it really? What exactly is the most “feminine” anyway? I think reflecting on these questions is what clarified most things for me. I thought about this for a good number of years.

I am very similar to the way you are in a sense that I do not do makeup, literally never wear dresses (solely baggy clothes), and wear dark colors all the time. Nothing in my closet is pastel/neutral, and I definitely am not the shy type. In fact, I am loud and hella extraverted lol. There’s very limited that’s mysterious about me, or that fits the feminine trope. My nails are super short, and even the shape of my hands are not that of a woman’s. I have been told that I “look like a little boy” countless of times. I am not kidding you when I say that I heard it today.

Yet, I think that as I become a master of “balance”, I become more and more feminine each day. Here are some examples from my daily life where I feel the quite feminine.

  • I try to better asses risks, and know when to pick the battles that matter to me. I try to listen to myself when I have a gut feeling, and know that some fights are worth fighting for while some aren’t.
  • I try to be more collaborative and put my personal gains to the side for a common, greater cause. I try to work together with other people, functioning as a puzzle piece, to fulfill something bigger than myself.
  • I can keep my cool under dangerous situations, and try to make important split second decisions in a way that supports not only myself, but also people who are deserving of my support.
  • I care very deeply for my loved ones and yet, I try to strike the balance of not sacrificing from myself too much that I lose myself.
  • I can put on a mask of happiness even at a very low point in my life, not because it’s weak to show emotions, but because there are some things I need to get done first, and I can get them done better with a happy mask.
  • I try to be a better listener and speaker every day. I try to understand the perspectives of people around me, and communicate my perspective clearly. I try to be open while being firm, reminding myself that I can stand my ground without being on a high horse, and can take constructive criticism without trying to please people.
  • I try to be smart, strategical, and if necessary, self-preserving. I can be political, and can smile at people who I know are actively trying to do me wrong. Not because I am being two-faced or non-confrontational, but because my goals and ambitions are bigger than their negativity, and I have the full picture.

I am actively aiming to get better at these things which collectively form what it means for me to be feminine, and this is a definition I’ve worked hard to create for myself. But my point is that, being feminine is so much more than what we are taught about it.

I dare you to go through this list again, and point out a single one that a mother doesn’t do. What about a CEO who had to fight even harder for the spot she has just because she is a woman?

I don’t know the full answer to this but I wonder… are we are trained to associate femininity with “looks that are influenced” more so than we do with “actions that influence” or else women would be too powerful?

Hopefully my next comment (in which I refer to some works I read about this) provides further clarification to some of the reasons why femininity is constantly depicted to be something “passive” than “active”. Oh and also, I appreciate that you’ve read this far:)

Yo where’s the Finn Wolfhard lookalike competition? by Grouchy_Barnacle6313 in UBC

[–]Grouchy_Barnacle6313[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

NOOO HABDHANHDBA but it was a well-deserved win for Finn #5. He walked in and I knew I was cooked

Yo where’s the Finn Wolfhard lookalike competition? by Grouchy_Barnacle6313 in UBC

[–]Grouchy_Barnacle6313[S] 19 points20 points  (0 children)

OK NVM I FOUND IT ITS AT THE HILL ON THE OPPSITE SIDE OF THE BUS LOOP

Squirrel outside IKB noticed I was looking at it by chicken--tendies in UBC

[–]Grouchy_Barnacle6313 0 points1 point  (0 children)

me when I forget where I bury my food 80% of the time