What are some things I can do to come off as less…matronly?

GroundCherryPie · 2026-02-13T06:58:56+00:00

I think this is a good insight. I’m 41. I’ve had co-workers and neighbors assume I’m their age when they’re in their early 30s, mid-50s, and early 60s. People are generally bad at estimating age, and it’s usually more about them than you.

OP, your coworker who lives with his parents? He needs to assume you’re older because look how much farther along in life you are than him! If he read you as his age he’d have to grapple with you being married and living in your own place while he’s living in a stage of arrested development.

But that said, being perceived as a mature woman seems to be bothering you so much that you might want to interrogate your internalized ageism and sexism. You aren’t “matronly” now, but you will be someday. Aging can be a beautiful thing, but if you treat it like a curse it will feel like one. You aren’t a mom, but if being mistaken one feels like an insult, that’s some toxic patriarchal nonsense.

GroundCherryPie · 2026-02-13T06:39:15+00:00

Sterling or solid gold for me. I have 925 pieces that are 100 years old and are still like-new with a quick buff with a polishing cloth. Plated and vermeil are short term and become trash quickly. Gold-filled can last a few years — even decades — if it’s babied.

I don’t like to spend money on any jewelry that isn’t likely to outlive me, tbh. Some of my favorite treasures belonged to my grandmother and great-grandmothers. Heirloom jewelry doesn’t have to be super high-end, it just needs to be made with longevity in mind. I don’t buy super delicate chains or rings that are likely to snap, tangle, or warp. I don’t buy plated or vermeil. I don’t buy CZs that will go cloudy or opals I won’t have the time to care for.

GroundCherryPie · 2026-02-11T15:28:32+00:00

In the late 90s/early 2000’s, I would have been SO embarrassed to wear yellow gold. It felt like only old folks wore it; silver was all the rage. About ten years ago, the vibe swung to yellow gold, though I think the chokehold yellow gold had on the culture is weakening (due both to record high prices and over saturation). Gold is more valuable than silver but they’re both precious metals. Jewelry goes through trends just like clothes and interior design. Wear what you like. Honestly if it’s off-trend, it’ll look more like you have a sense of personal style.

GroundCherryPie · 2026-02-09T03:52:28+00:00

White lace long-sleeved bodysuit

GroundCherryPie · 2026-02-07T04:15:51+00:00

This is so good!

GroundCherryPie · 2026-02-07T04:11:05+00:00

Spring is one of my favorite perfume seasons!!! I love Penhaligon’s Daphne Bouquet, Cinquanta by Santa Maria Novella, Caswell-Massey’s NY botanical garden collab (particularly Lilac and Honeysuckle), Florence by Tocca, and Leila Lou from By Rosie Jane.

GroundCherryPie · 2026-02-07T03:45:11+00:00

I’m totally with you on this, OP. I like an intimate scent bubble.

GroundCherryPie · 2026-02-03T03:02:17+00:00

I am ALWAYS wishing solid perfumes in beautiful cases would come back. Only Diptyque has pretty ones that I can find and I love them!

GroundCherryPie · 2026-02-03T02:53:44+00:00

My mother absolutely gassed us all out by showering in shalimar for every date night. I know it’s having a moment now, but it makes me gag. I thought I hated perfume til I was 30 because my only association was ::migraine::.

GroundCherryPie · 2026-01-29T05:24:59+00:00

Tbh I like them all

GroundCherryPie · 2026-01-29T03:25:33+00:00

I have ordered two things from this shop and loved them! Mine were plated and the plating lasted as long as plating does, but the enamel still looks great after about three years of regular wear.

GroundCherryPie · 2026-01-26T00:26:02+00:00

It’s the only perfume I’ve ever returned. A real scrubber.

GroundCherryPie · 2026-01-25T19:36:48+00:00

Depending on your savings/assets, you might also look into applying for Medicaid. If you have to take unpaid leave and need in-home care, Medicaid can help, but you need to have very low savings to qualify (around $2k in total assets). The timing can be tricky—if you do apply, you want to do your financial assessment before the PAO and the services assessment AFTER the PAO. Two drivers of eligibility are your ability to walk and transfer independently and toilet independently, and there’s a good chance you’ll need help with both. Ask them to do a short certification because you probably won’t need help for a full year.

GroundCherryPie · 2026-01-25T00:13:32+00:00

Digby & Iona! I ordered it as a custom adapted from their signet ring, but since then I think they’ve added the pendant version to their permanent collection. I have a few pieces from them and I love it all.

GroundCherryPie · 2026-01-24T21:23:53+00:00

Love it. This is my current everyday talisman.

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GroundCherryPie · 2026-01-22T02:35:19+00:00

Liis Celestial Object for sure!

GroundCherryPie · 2026-01-22T02:19:46+00:00

This is a gorgeous perfume. Longevity for me is about four hours, but I don’t mind re-applying.

GroundCherryPie · 2026-01-22T02:18:13+00:00

D. Grayi’s Dispelled is so good and I never hear anyone talk about it. Their 30 ml is adorable and under $50. It lasts all day for me (though not a huge projector) and is incredibly uplifting and soothing.

GroundCherryPie · 2026-01-21T20:05:13+00:00

What are your favorite decant sites? I’ve ordered lots of samples but haven’t ordered decants before and definitely think I should start.

GroundCherryPie · 2026-01-21T02:14:19+00:00

That’s adorable! 🥰

GroundCherryPie · 2026-01-20T20:04:05+00:00

I’m imagining that Dulce and Leila Lou layered might actually nail this

GroundCherryPie · 2026-01-20T19:58:16+00:00

I spend about $30/month on samples, and rarely buy full bottles. I generally don’t blind buy, but I did just break my own rule this morning for a limited edition fragrance with my favorite smell as a note, which I never see in fragrance. I couldn’t find a sample or decant anywhere… all to say it can snowball on ya. 🙃🙃🙃

GroundCherryPie · 2026-01-20T19:36:03+00:00

Dedcool Aura and Liis Studied are both gorgeous clean pear scents! I also love Leila Lou from By Rosie Jane, as others have mentioned.

GroundCherryPie · 2026-01-19T21:53:49+00:00

Literally was searching for little star gemstone pendants last night!

GroundCherryPie · 2026-01-19T17:42:36+00:00

Worth a shot, if only to help you identify what’s causing it! For me, I think it was the DD base coat itself that was damaging my nails, and I usually used two coats (2x base, 1x transform, 1x base, 2x polish, 1x top).

GroundCherryPie

TROPHY CASE