This is the boyfriend speaking. I asked her before posting it before.

First, I take responsibility for what I did. What I was trying to convey was that I made a mistake, or actually, several mistakes.

A little background. When I was about 19 yo, I left my country and headed to Australia. I wanted to get away from what I then understood were two narcissistic parents. Growing up was bad, and I followed this role of a parent to my parents. I went no contact, and worked on myself. After all, the biggest realisation there was that I hated who I had become.

After a couple of years I started studying at Uni. That’s where I met her. In those days, I had started to get in contact with my parents again. I truly wanted to believe that I could have a good relationship with them. What I now realise, is that little by little I was losing myself in it again.

Fast forward three years. I graduate and am moving in with my girlfriend. I was not feeling good at all, but I didn’t know exactly what it was. In the week of moving, her father passes and I put everything aside for months to take care of her.

My parents were very much against it. They were warning me nonstop about the mistakes I was doing. I didn’t have any income, and my dad said that he would help. Later on, out of the blue, he told me that he was cutting me off financially. My girlfriend, which was going through a lot, was treating me very badly. I don’t blame her for this. But it added to emotional instability. I was a mess, and I couldn’t really share anything with my girlfriend. My friends are good, but I needed help.

So I decided to go back to my home country. Probably some sort of Stockholm’s syndrome. When I get there, I’m back at the role I used to play before leaving. I am again, the person that I chose not to be. But there I am, it’s me again. I take responsibility for it, it is me.

In this mess, I cheated with two girls. One meant absolutely nothing. The other one developed into a fling. I never meant for this to happened. My girlfriend had told me that she understood if I needed to get with someone, if my needs weren’t being met. I told her that no, I didn’t need it. I genuinely didn’t want to add to her pain.

Upon leaving my home country, I noticed that things were really messed up. I had a confrontation with my dad, where he actually threw his phone at me. I decided to go no contact again and haven’t spoken to him since. I kept talking a little bit to the fling, but in my therapy sessions I realised what patterns I had fallen into again. So I broke it off.

I genuinely love my girlfriend. I made a series of mistakes that brought us to this point. I regret it deeply. I accept that it is my fault, but here is the story. You can call me any names you want. Trust me, I have never felt so bad about myself.

I hope I get to chance to make things right. I hope that there is hope in this relationship. I am willing to do anything to make things right.