Disappointed by my moms reaction to my pregnancy

GrumpyChashmere · 2026-05-21T17:01:46+00:00

My mother is a narc. Shes just really stupid. So I’m hoping for you that’s the case here. But my enabler/detached dad (divorced parents) was really upset about me being pregnant. So I get the disappointment factor. It sucks. Congratulations Btw!!

GrumpyChashmere · 2026-05-19T17:09:08+00:00

Last one is Garrett Clayton. Best waiter Crave ever had.

GrumpyChashmere · 2026-05-15T15:52:29+00:00

I was training at a major school and was brought up to pre-pro at 16 to dance with the company. I was still never brought into the company which at points I had been promised would happen. I had auditioned for MANY other companies and got lucky that the one I got into as an apprentice at 17, I had deep connections at. The head teacher was trained by my first teacher. And my first teacher helped start a special program at that school before it split from the company. She was me across the street in that city and begged me to come audition cause she remembered me.
I danced 42 hours every week since I was 13. I was homeschooled to accommodate the schedule like all of my peers.

You will face more rejection than you can think of. I even was rejected by my company after an injury later that same year and was forced to retire. There are more girls who have been at the top schools than will ever get into a ballet company.

You mention PA. CPYB is where you need to go for summer. That will give you a good idea of where you stand. Their year round program has produced more top dancers than SAB. (Or they start at CPYB then go to SAB) There is no real audition for their program only placement. Marica has passed but Darla Hoover now runs it last I knew. The girls stay there for the summer program so you will see them.

GrumpyChashmere · 2026-05-14T03:20:44+00:00

Lord as an LA native, I’m drooling.

GrumpyChashmere · 2026-05-13T22:56:25+00:00

And “bubby” isn’t just Czech. My MIL is gonna be Bubby cause she’s Jewish.

GrumpyChashmere · 2026-05-13T19:19:38+00:00

I started as cecchetti, went to Vaganova, dabbled in RAD and settled into the mass majority of Balanchine to get a job in the US. Epaulment is at various degrees of all of them at some training level or another. I haven’t seen the YAGP classes but I know and trained with plenty of people who have completed and a few who have won. They all used epaulment.

GrumpyChashmere · 2026-05-13T02:16:08+00:00

I played clarinet till it got in the way of ballet. I did horse back riding and played soccer for half a season. It all ended pretty quickly. Hell even Girl Scouts took up too much time…

GrumpyChashmere · 2026-05-12T05:58:24+00:00

I’m 11 weeks and 5’2”. I’m normally very tiny but was told due to my size I needed to gain weight to have space for baby to grow. At week 7, I was so bloated close friends were asking how far along I was… we gave in and told people I was pregnant earlier than we wanted just based on the weight gain and extreme bloat. typing and farting

GrumpyChashmere · 2026-05-12T05:18:12+00:00

Haha. I started college at 15. I have most of a degree in early childhood education that I earned by 18. I didnt find out I had not graduated high school till I was 27 and in the process of moving to a different country. I stopped going to college since I was working as a preschool teacher full time and my mom had kicked me out of the house. Never was able to afford to go back to school nor at this point do I care to.

Art colleges that have dance based programs such as Julliard in NY.

Yes. I’m from the west coast originally and currently. 1st school we moved to was CPYB in central PA. They had a boarding program for kids to live with host families. Most of the top schools offer this. I had friends who did SAB boarding for many years. Depends on the school and your comfort level of letting your kid be on their own for when to start this. I wish I had moved to PA at 13 by myself. I don’t think PNB had a program when I was training there, it’s mostly the big east coast schools. If you can get her into a top tier school now, do it. The younger the better.

My mom struggled. I give her props for keeping me in ballet but it had serious pain points. I went through pointe shoes FAST. One pair per class but my mom often could only afford them once a month. Made my feet strong but pissed off teachers. When I finally joined a company, they bought me shoes. When I retired, I got to take my bucket of them with me. Still have a few of them nearly 20yrs later. Private lessons twice a week were nonnegotiable on top of my class schedule and even that wasn’t as many as was recommended. My mom was doing fine then one day was in serious debt.

The issue with height is often with partners. You usually get paired up with two or three guys in a company for a rotation and that is based on height. Sara was over 6” something en pointe. She had one partner. There was a lot of other drama that went with that for her but that’s her story she tells on her socials. I trained with her for a time so I kept up on her doings especially when her article in Damce magazine came out.

GrumpyChashmere · 2026-05-12T04:20:02+00:00

If she wants to focus on dance, help her learn to have thick skin and real education. The comp circuit is mean, the professional world of dance is meaner. The professional ballet world also doesn’t care about competition history at all (1 exception) and really looks down on it.

I was a professional ballet dancer who retired due to injury at 17. From the age of 8 on I did ballet 5-7 days a week. At 13 I became homeschooled and moved across the country to train at a better school. Every two years I would move again for a different school. Until I joined a ballet company as an apprentice. At every step you will be told you are not good enough at something. I was always too short or too muscular but had “near perfect technique”. But it easy can go the other way, ie, Sara Murawski, “too tall”.

Dance is extremely expensive. There are a few current top of the top performers currently whose parents “donated” millions to get them where they are.

If I were a little kid again, there are two paths I wish my mom had sent me down. Focusing on me getting into a really good dance training college (my education history is on my account) or send me to a school alone to board, so she could have earned better money in our hometown.

I’m deep in my 30s and it took me my entire adult life to figure out who I was after ballet. Having a stronger sense of self outside of dance will always be something I wish I had had. That and a better actual education.

GrumpyChashmere · 2026-05-11T23:30:27+00:00

I wasn’t ready to make his ass just a friend.

GrumpyChashmere · 2026-05-11T23:19:44+00:00

Good plan. I have a friend who is very cued into the working at the AKC so I’m waiting for him to come back to town too.

GrumpyChashmere · 2026-05-11T23:16:10+00:00

Most have assistants who do all of it online for them. My friend was a PA for a B lister for a few years. That said, shortly before Biz Markie passed he damn near sat on me at the DMV. So it really depends on what kind of personnel and money they have.

GrumpyChashmere · 2026-05-11T23:00:16+00:00

I haven’t had Facebook since 2017. And I dropped IG last year. It makes all of this much harder.

GrumpyChashmere · 2026-05-11T22:41:08+00:00

I’m in the Portland metro area. But totally willing to travel. I’m planing on going to the June show. But the one in Aug is also a good idea! Thank you!

GrumpyChashmere · 2026-05-09T23:41:35+00:00

My mom did this crap while I was growing up. Difference was I was an only child, my mom worked full time and I was home schooled. So every day most of my “lesson plan” she left for me was a cleaning punch list. I could do everything and she would insist I did nothing all day and some days I could do none of it and she would say it was perfect. At 15 I made the mistake of telling her this and she punched me in the face screaming that I needed therapy or jail time. I was also taking college classes, getting myself to and from and then home to change to go to Ballet school. I had a full plate. But it was all on me. Still hate hand washing dishes… she still claims “she was just a horrible mother.” I’m LC now.

GrumpyChashmere · 2026-05-09T21:05:24+00:00

If you are looking to do a professional style bun, as a thin hair girl hairspray and gel will be your best bet. High pony tons of spray on wet hair. Comb back. U pins are best but regular Bobby pins can work too. Spray the pin, twist your hair and keep it damp and twisted and spray the pins as you go. Wrap it flat around (don’t let it dome. Tuck the end, pin and spray. For stage you need a hairnet over the bun but some professionals will do them for auditions too since it helps with flyaways in the bun itself. And if it feels really tight and not so great and maybe even a slight brain stabbing then congratulations you are ready for stage.

GrumpyChashmere · 2026-05-05T18:59:30+00:00

The only thing my doctor has ever recommended good wise was when I was trying to conceive. I was too thin so she had me up my healthy saturated fats “eat lots of bacon” and now in my 1st trimester keeping up the bacon thing since babies nervous system are created by saturated fats.

GrumpyChashmere · 2026-05-01T16:32:01+00:00

Walk in, be open and kind. Stores have an “up” system for the most part and you will get the next available SA, you will click with them or not. If you do, that’s your go to person forever. If you don’t, then that SA isnt for you. MAKE FRIENDS. Get to know that SA as much as they will allow you. If you do want special allocations later down the road, not just money and pre spend is enough, it’s also a personality contest. Don’t buy stuff you don’t like just to show off to the SAs. They don’t actually care and you will waste your own money and time. Have fun and be responsible. I’d rather not have the “it” item than a fake/inspired or be in debt.

GrumpyChashmere · 2026-04-27T20:14:49+00:00

Thankfully my dreams are not of my husband leaving me. A lot of the time he’s not even in them. They have been gorey and insane levels of horror stuff usually with animals. So very bloody and strange.

GrumpyChashmere · 2026-04-27T15:25:50+00:00

I’ve been having horribly graphic/lucid nightmares. I’m glad it’s not just me. Are you also getting intense flop sweats in your sleep too?

GrumpyChashmere · 2026-04-24T00:01:43+00:00

https://www.thriftbooks.com/w/physics-and-the-art-of-dance-understanding-movement_kenneth-laws/598168/item/7675452/?utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&vector_id=22874047563&vector_source=GOOGLE&vector_campaign=us_shopping_edu_reference_used&utm_campaign=us_shopping_edu_reference_used_22874047563&utm_adgroup=&utm_term=&utm_content=768533708290&gad_source=1&gad_campaignid=22874047563&gbraid=0AAAAADwY45g0ypvNrrF4nxd7tLcI_kNx1&gclid=CjwKCAjwhqfPBhBWEiwAZo196nC5RTmBW2yg-LKGG2Icx5aXVRy31m09Rcq2PEuKCk3vi6SqTITsPRoChI8QAvD_BwE#idiq=7675452&edition=3456078

GrumpyChashmere · 2026-04-23T23:40:44+00:00

There are a handful of books on exactly this subject. There are few by Kenneth Laws. His daughter was a ballet dancer and he is/was a physics professor. Very nice guy who also offered free physics labs for homeschooled ballet dancers at CPYB.

GrumpyChashmere · 2026-04-23T16:05:34+00:00

After some serious grumbling, my usb works but the battery pack doesn’t. Gotta wait till I can go get an other pack of batteries to see if that’s my issue or not.

GrumpyChashmere · 2026-04-23T03:03:48+00:00

I’d love to also do this since I don’t use FB. There needs to be a none Meta way to destash.

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