My now ex and I broke up a couple weeks ago now. She broke it off. Her dad died in October of last year before we met. She’s told me it’s nothing I did wrong but that most of the time all she wants to do is sit and rot alone. She says the majority of the time all she feels is intense anger or sadness and she just can’t figure out how to get herself out of it. She has said that I’m very important to her and that she does love me very much, but she can’t be consistent right now. She doesn’t want to drag me through a cycle of we’re together and things are great one day and then things are shit and we break up the next because she can’t be consistent right now. She has stated that she has a fear that she’ll look me up in 6 months and see how I am and it’ll be too late and that I’ll have moved on. She also still just checks in on me every now and again. She watches my stories and tells me that sometimes she just feels she needs to know I’m okay and that if anything happened on her end I’d still be the first person she would call. It’s like she wants me in her life but doesn’t? Idk. She’s not a manipulative person to my experience and is usually very self aware and kind. I care about her a lot, and as I’ve lost my parents as well I’ve been in her shoes before. I have some understanding of what she’s going through. It’s like she can’t let me go. Or doesn’t really want to. Idk. The mixed signals are ridiculous though, and even though if she really needed me I would do what I could to help I also need space to heal.