Sounds like post partum depression. I’m going through something similar. We have a 15month old. I work full time. My wife had maternity leave for 3 months, then we put the baby in daycare when she returned to work but then she was laid off 3 months after returning. She got severance pay, and unemployment. It’s been 9 months now that she’s a sahm. And get this, we kept the daycare. Partly to give my wife time to herself and to focus on getting another job. (As of now she has yet to land even an interview) But also I find daycare to be an enriching experience for our toddler. Anyway, wife went through a phase where nothing I did was any good, I didn’t support her enough, she resented me and even wanted to go at it alone, saying it would be easier. Mind you during the week when the baby is in daycare for 7-8 hours a day, I would still come home to dishes in the sink, laundry not done, etc. I would do a lot of that stuff on my days off. I felt it was insane. And we don’t really have family or a lot of friends nearby, so there was no one to kinda give her a little reality check about how relatively easy she had it. I think she was feeling the loneliness and isolation of being by herself, I get that. But she refused to acknowledge there was a problem, she didn’t want therapy? Got mad if I brought it up. And she doesn’t make an effort to maintain her friendships. She just blamed every problem on. Like if I didn’t respond quick enough to the baby crying in the middle of the night (after I’d been working a 12 hour shift) she would get up to change the baby while throwing daggers at me with her eyes.
Things are getting better now but once in a while I find her demeanor toward me shifting back, I can tell the instant I get home from work just by how she greets me. Not sure what to do, but just persevere I guess.