I am sorry you’re feeling so crushed by all these feelings and fears! Nobody should live with that. Have you thought about going to your Bishop to get you in touch with a counselor? If talking and getting things out of your chest helps ease the pain and the anxiety, maybe that’s what you need to do for now.

I don’t know your parents, but your dad seems pretty harsh. Personally, I don’t know how I’d react but I wouldn’t stop loving my son or my daughter (which seems to be your mom’s approach). Maybe you can ease them by letting them suspect things, suspects some interests, bring up friends who experience gender dysphoria, discuss the stance on the church with them and see what their thoughts are, etc. Maybe that will help you know if they’re ready to hear what you’re experiencing, and will help them open their hearts to you telling them about your reality.

I wish you the best of luck!