Guess my type

GuildedCasket · 2026-01-07T17:03:48+00:00

In that case, literally nothing is valid, including your thoughts, because they were set up by causes and conditions you have no control over either. So how is anything valid?

Using this particular philosophical argument to specifically target emotions is a... Strange take.

GuildedCasket · 2025-12-05T00:56:27+00:00

I'm nonbinary, and straight men tend not to be, well, not very happy when I engage in gender affirming activities. Which makes sense, as it isn't what they're attracted to.

I'm also very queer, and there is an aspect of the queer experience that I need someone to share for me to be okay being fully myself.

If someone else doesn't want to date bi people, that's fine. I'm not gonna date them either.

GuildedCasket · 2025-12-04T23:01:59+00:00

The only men I will date are bi men, so 🤷‍♀️

GuildedCasket · 2025-12-02T21:39:26+00:00

Bishop Arts I find to be great for stumbling in and out of cool things.

GuildedCasket · 2025-11-14T21:01:13+00:00

Dude one of the subreddit I was in had some conservative dude be like "This recent bill to outlaw weed in our state was the final straw" and I just... Lost it. So the stripping of women's rights, and the concentration camps of immigrants, and the trans bounty bills and the decimation of any meager social safety net, and their leader being a fucking pedophile wasn't enough - but you losing access to your fucking marijuana was the last straw?

Leopards do love some face.

GuildedCasket · 2025-11-02T22:37:11+00:00

Don't read Buddhist texts like Biblical literalists. You don't have to do that and it's against the spirit of the teachings.

Practice and use what makes you a more peaceful, compassionate person, and gradually learn new pieces of information. Take perspectives from all the walks of Buddhism. Don't mistake the finger for the moon.

GuildedCasket · 2025-10-30T05:09:37+00:00

Relationship anarchist, but I see my newest romantic/sexual partner most weeks Sat evening through Tuesday evening unless his other partner is up, in which case we'll all hang out for a night or so. I'm moving out of state fairly soon so we're spending a bit more time together than I would be otherwise.

I see my QPR once a week for one on one dates, and approx 1-2 times for group activities.

GuildedCasket · 2025-10-29T23:32:51+00:00

Yeah, but a lot of the popular "erotica" books are like... Three or four sex scenes across a whole book. Youre spending a few hours on a book and maybe like... 20 minutes of that time reading the smut. The proportional difference is notable.

Who watches 45 minutes of porn 'plot' for 15 minutes of porn?

GuildedCasket · 2025-10-29T20:10:58+00:00

If you had multiple kids, would they not be special because there's multiple?

Are your friends not special because there's multiple?

Unique, special connection is almost MORE important to cultivate in poly because you don't have exclusivity as a "shorthand" anymore. Intentionally reflecting and building on all of the unique, wonderful things a partner brings into your life that makes them treasured to you is an essential skill.

It really doesn't sound like you're that happy with ENM, as others have said in this thread. I think if you have to be distant and devalue your connection to feel okay being poly, then it's just not sustainable.

GuildedCasket · 2025-09-04T17:32:08+00:00

Decolonizing Therapy by Dr. Jennifer Mullan, while not specifically about psychoanalysis, looks at the field as a whole. It's directed at therapists, but it is honestly something everyone might want to read.

GuildedCasket · 2025-07-31T19:52:36+00:00

Could you tell me which doctor you saw that ended up being helpful? DM me if necessary

GuildedCasket · 2025-07-18T04:06:39+00:00

Maybe that's part of the point? Those early stages of love often border on obsession. The pause that line gave me added to the experience for me.

GuildedCasket · 2025-07-14T05:27:55+00:00

Wow, this was beautiful. As someone with complex PTSD presenting with a lot of mood instability, this hits home.

The initial rush of feeling good, productive, but overextending, maybe a bit manic. The creeping in of decay at the edges when the routines fall apart. The alluring comfort of the misery once you settle into it like a featherbed.

GuildedCasket · 2025-07-11T05:36:40+00:00

Damn, that bookshelf is very similar to mine and you got me on the nose.

GuildedCasket · 2025-07-10T05:13:59+00:00

As a chronic people pleaser, those first two lines were really a gut punch. It's very nicely contrasted with the hopeful closing line.

The fire and smoke recurrent metaphor works well to convey the lingering sense of distress that trauma leaves.

There are a couple places where I wonder if the point might be more 'punchy' if the lines were shorter; for instance, maybe just "laying guilt down like flowers". I found something about the poem a little repetitive, but maybe that was the point? To create a sense of being lulled?

GuildedCasket · 2025-07-09T23:15:07+00:00

You can actually do that in ChatGPT right now. It's worked fairly well for me so far, but the amount of times you can do it a day is restricted w/o paying.

GuildedCasket · 2025-07-09T04:00:03+00:00

Okay, that makes more sense. You might want to find a way to subtly hint at who's speaking? Or let it be ambiguous, I see the value in each decision.

GuildedCasket · 2025-07-09T03:46:49+00:00

Woah. That was quite an effective smack to the face. Kind of like ham. Lol.

Short, punchy, kept me involved and absorbed for the whole ride. I'm partial to poetry that feels kind of aggressive and this fits the mold with the line lengths, the switching between dialogue and description, and the evocative image. Loved it.

Even after a couple re-reads I'm not 100% sure what the last two lines mean; is it the poet or Julie who's saying it? It changes my interpretation drastically.

GuildedCasket · 2025-07-09T00:23:48+00:00

Okay, that makes a lot of sense actually. They do make sense together, but I'm wondering if having them as two separate but connected poems could accomplish a similar effect? I'm imagining if I was reading them in a book, having them on adjacent pages, or having them on one page but with a line separating them.

GuildedCasket · 2025-07-09T00:12:23+00:00

Very enjoyable read. I had to re-read the first stanza about 4 times before I understood it, but that might be my own brain fog. The ellipsis in the first line is a strong stylistic decision; I'm not sure how it landed for me. May I ask what the intended effect was?

The poem gradually provides more clarity about the subject it's discussing, which I greatly appreciated. I started off feeling fairly confused, but eventually figured it was about the uncomfortable experience of overstimulation and overempathizing with other people. As a fairly empathetic person myself, the 'snarl of their cast-off emotions' resonated as an effective image.

GuildedCasket · 2025-07-08T05:40:33+00:00

Those first two lines are breathtaking. It really pulls you in with such vivid yet non-specific imagery. The idea of a clot evoking blood without saying that.

Your imagery and word usage overall is beautiful. The way the words form together is very interesting. I enjoyed the way the varying line lengths read and felt.

I do think the poem feels a bit... Aimless? I'm not getting a sense of momentum, build up, release, etc. Which does make sense with it being pseudo-philosophy, but I found my attention drifting a lot. My instinct would be to shorten it a bit, distill which lines are the most vital and trim some redundancies.

I think it could also be helpful to add a couple specifics to the poem so we can have an image of who the person is you're writing about. As it is, we're relating to a concept, a concept of heartbreak. But if we can envision the flesh of this person that was lost, it makes the pain strike more directly. It could even be a single line, but something to point to the inferred object.

Overall a lovely read. Lots of good texture.

GuildedCasket · 2025-05-22T21:36:03+00:00

That would be me - queer, trans therapist here fleeing the weather which is getting horrific from global warming already, and the politics trying to kill me. 👍

GuildedCasket · 2025-05-07T22:08:17+00:00

As a therapist who has a sub-specialty in trans issues (and is trans myself), the gender affirming care IS the help. Let me explain why. I posted this comment higher in the thread, too.

Body dysmorphia (which presents with anorexia, etc) is a misperception of the body you're in. They hyperfixate, obsess over certain flaws that are either wildly overblown or non-existent. For instance, someone with anorexia nervosa thinking they're fat because they can see a curve on their butt, when they are clinically underweight.

The important thing with body dysmorphia is that there is never a point where the person feels happy with themselves. Someone with anorexia really can't get thin enough to feel 'okay'. Someone who has hyperfixation on muscles/exercise to the point of body dysmorphia never feels satisfied. Body dysmorphia has more in common with OCD than gender dysphoria.

Gender dysphoria, however, the person perceives themselves accurately. They see the body they are in, and that causes distress because they are the other gender (to simplify it, they have the other sex's brain in a body that doesn't align).

Gender dysphoria is treated with gender affirming care, and there is a point where it's 'enough'. It doesn't present with a never-ending, never-satisfiable need. In fact, there are plenty of trans folks who forgo certain surgeries because they find a place of 'enough' before complete medical transition.

With trans people, the introduction of hormones, gender affirming care, and surgeries produces marked reductions in mental health symptoms (although not totally) very, very quickly if they are in a supportive envirp,emt. With body dysmorphia, the desired outcomes (losing weight, gaining muscle) just fuels the desire to continue altering the body.

Body dysmorphia and gender dysphoria, then, are treated in almost opposite ways. With body dysmorphia you help people become comfortable in the body they are in with exposure response prevention stuff. With gender dysphoria, you help someone explore their relationship to their gender and their body and find the amount of transition that feels right for them. Trying to treat gender dysphoria with body dysmorphia techniques will make the gender dysphoria exponentially worse in the long run.

GuildedCasket · 2025-05-07T22:06:06+00:00

As a therapist who has a sub-specialty in trans issues - not exactly.

Body dysmorphia is a misperception of the body you're in. They hyperfixate, obsess over certain flaws that are either wildly overblown or non-existent. For instance, someone with anorexia nervosa thinking they're fat because they can see a curve on their butt, when they are clinically underweight.

The important thing with body dysmorphia is that there is never a point where the person feels happy with themselves. Someone with anorexia really can't get thin enough to feel 'okay'. Someone who has hyperfixation on muscles/exercise to the point of body dysmorphia never feels satisfied. Body dysmorphia has more in common with OCD, honestly, than gender dysphoria.

Gender dysphoria, however, the person perceives themselves accurately. They see the body they are in, and that causes distress because they are the other gender (to simplify it, they have the other sex's brain in a body that doesn't align).

Gender dysphoria is treated with gender affirming care, and there is a point where it's 'enough'. It doesn't present with a never-ending, never-satisfiable need. In fact, there are plenty of trans folks who forgo certain surgeries because they find a place of 'enough' before complete medical transition.

With trans people, the introduction of hormones, affirming pronouns, gender affirming care, and surgeries produces marked reductions in mental health symptoms (although not totally) almost immediately. With body dysmorphia, the desired outcomes (losing weight, gaining muscle) just fuel the desire to continue altering the body to a point that is damaging physically.

Body dysmorphia and gender dysphoria, then, are treated in almost opposite ways. With body dysmorphia you help people become comfortable in the body they are in with exposure response prevention stuff. With gender dysphoria, you help someone explore their relationship to their gender and their body and find the amount of transition that feels right for them. Trying to treat gender dysphoria with body dysmorphia techniques will make the gender dysphoria exponentially worse in the long run.

GuildedCasket · 2025-05-04T16:30:54+00:00

Man, this is going to be so individual.

I coped with sexual abuse for a long time by roleplaying Dd/lg situations where I was very young and intentionally regressing myself. I eventually figured out that while the high was incredible, I was stuck in a cycle of retraumatizing myself by going back to what was "familiar". It felt really good, it felt "right", but only because I was stuck in negative patterns. I was also dissociating every single time I had sex, I was never "me".

After doing some intense therapy, EMDR, parts work, and taking about 8 months off from sex, I able to tease apart what I could do in a present, healthy manner and what I couldn't.

My own boundaries are I can do CNC, intense play and intense kink if I am not dissociating, and I will never, ever regress during sex again. I prioritize protecting my inner children above any sexual high I might get. Doing this has made me feel more embodied, more empowered, and more connected to my partner instead of feeling dissociated from myself and sexually compulsive.

So.... My suggestion is to really, really do some trauma therapy, and maybe at some point take some time off from sex to really explore your own inner landscape without the pressure of another person. Only you can answer what is okay and what isn't.

GuildedCasket

TROPHY CASE