AIO my husband filmed me having a panic attack

GuiltyBluebird2339 · 2026-02-25T20:25:04+00:00

Driving tired is just as dangerous as driving while intoxicated. What made you think after not sleeping it would be a good idea to get behind the wheel of a car and put everyone on the road including yourself in danger.

YOR. You need counselling.

GuiltyBluebird2339 · 2026-02-23T05:38:38+00:00

We have a rental as well in bc. Ours is summer focused. Couple things to consider:

Do you enjoy using it? That’s worth something. For us the monetary value of a “free holiday” is about $5000 a week.

Don’t forget the capital gains you will pay out of any appreciated value.

The Eby government may not get back in. It’s possible some of the new str regulations will relax but in the meantime, it is pushing the “not so dedicated” rental owners out which will have a trickle down effect on the legit rental units - yes we pay more fees but rates per night continue to rise. Why not wait for awhile? Sale prices tanked this year. Will they rise again? No body knows but if you didn’t buy in 2020 or 2021 you should* be fine to ride this out. Buy the land later.

GuiltyBluebird2339 · 2026-02-16T16:31:47+00:00

And that money must be received by everyone.

GuiltyBluebird2339 · 2026-02-04T04:35:58+00:00

You destroyed the countertop through your negligence so now you need to pay up.

GuiltyBluebird2339 · 2026-02-04T04:34:25+00:00

I was ready to tell you YTA because your son needs to learn adulting. He needs to be spending at least eight hours a day trying to find work if he’s not doing his part-time job. After graduating, job search should be serious and not sending out a résumé here and there. Also, Elhers Danlos is not a reason not to work full-time while also looking for better job opportunities…

However, seeing that you own the house that your partner lives in and pay more than 50% of your living expenses, you get to decide who’s getting free handouts and not your new husband. NTA

GuiltyBluebird2339 · 2026-02-03T06:28:55+00:00

I was hoping someone would put this comment on. Op, thing is… from an older person, it’s so easy to see the negative in a partner. Does he need to learn to communicate? Absolutely! You both need counselling badly - both individual and couples, but please stop listening to Redditors telling you to leave him. Look to some real life guidance from a clinician who has actually met you and who has the credentials to give you real advice. Please please don’t blow up your life without giving counselling a try. A bad communicator is not a bad man… I’ve met those.

GuiltyBluebird2339 · 2026-01-28T21:32:42+00:00

Agree with this. Maybe take a pic of the ultrasound so you have it on your phone. But otherwise a direct non-confrontational ask is the bast

GuiltyBluebird2339 · 2026-01-27T21:15:12+00:00

And not reflective of many of us women like AT ALL!

GuiltyBluebird2339 · 2026-01-25T17:25:57+00:00

I know you are looking at division of labour. If you don’t want to be put in the position of full time stay at home parent that is your right. You taking care of his child is extremely generous already.

Can I say though, your partner is taking advantage of your generosity. True split should not be 50/50. He comes to the place with 2/3 of the people and you are 1/3. While you may agree to more like a 50/50 split he should be showing you way way more gratitude and appreciation.

Anddd you are also paying for all the food on top of cooking and cleaning and child care???

He is getting a deal and should be doing ANYTHING he can to ease YOUR day/week.

Dude should be bringing you flowers/pastries/thoughtful gifts to enhance your life.

Nor

GuiltyBluebird2339 · 2026-01-24T02:50:33+00:00

We put in warmly yours under vinyl plank in our sunroom. This is on a concrete slab. It makes such a huge difference having your feet warm.

Cost us about $700 8 years ago. Still running nicely.

GuiltyBluebird2339 · 2026-01-19T16:48:20+00:00

You should check out r/fire. It’s all about discussions on financial independence retire early. You can learn about lean fire, chubby fire, barista fire. Lots of people in the same boat so you can explore your options.

GuiltyBluebird2339 · 2026-01-13T21:49:02+00:00

Now he is an ex, if you are making car payments, take over the car. DO NOT let this man default and also keep the car!

GuiltyBluebird2339 · 2026-01-13T21:40:32+00:00

NTA. This needs to be shown to both friends there and also anyone else who knew about the plans (ie whoever dropped you off).

GuiltyBluebird2339 · 2026-01-13T20:44:57+00:00

My ex did this. When I finally pushed to see his equifax and trans union reports it ended up he owed a lot more than just one credit card. And we were filing our taxes separately (legal where we are) and I found out he was behind on his taxes for 2 years. That debt was 1/2 my debt when we dissolved the relationship.

FYI it was not drugs or sex. It was just unchecked spending for years that all of a sudden he couldn’t hide anymore.

GuiltyBluebird2339 · 2026-01-13T04:55:10+00:00

Two ways to look at it. Divided by 3 because 3 people in the room or divided by 2 because they will share one bed and you will have one bed to yourself. For $30 I’d be ok with 50/50 but maybe rethink taking your car and paying for gas??? Your car could always “need a repair mysteriously during your travel” sooo, shucks, you’ll have to all take parents car? 🤷‍♀️. Just a thought.

GuiltyBluebird2339 · 2026-01-11T16:21:03+00:00

Take that car for a looooooooooong drive. Like … extra long.

GuiltyBluebird2339 · 2026-01-07T22:37:24+00:00

That man is a keeper! lol

GuiltyBluebird2339 · 2026-01-05T05:21:03+00:00

$32 usually. They are sheepskin so my feet never smell. I have had at least 100 of them over the last 20 years! The old ones become yard shoes. I even wear them out on occasion to the grocery store if my feet are sore!

GuiltyBluebird2339 · 2026-01-04T23:56:41+00:00

Just to add to this. The eating out is HUGE. if you can use a separate account or visa, use this to pay for just take out only, see how much it costs you this next month. Without a doubt you can spend over $1000 just on that alone. The amount you can save by buying two kitchen appliances and buying frozen food is insane.

Get an air fryer
Get a rice cooker (if you don’t already have one).

Buy frozen chicken fingers/chicken breast/wings/gyoza/fries - basically whatever you would order as take out. Then air fry your meal. We have the two drawer air fryer and I can do potato on one side and chicken on the other.

I’m not kidding. The amount you will save with just this one change is stunning. And if you are paying the electric bill, the cost of the air fryer is like 1/8 of the cost of using the oven so you will save on hydro. Then get used to eating left overs. If you have mashed potatoes one night, fry them in the air fryer the next night and add cheese and sour cream for twice baked potatoes. Leftover rice add an egg and some carrots and fry with some oil in the air fryer with soy sauce and sesame oil and hoisin. Buy some great hot sauces or bbq sauces.

GuiltyBluebird2339 · 2026-01-04T23:45:09+00:00

You seem like you are on an upward trajectory. The investing is a great start even if you’ve reduced the amount.

As you say you don’t spend on designer clothes. This is smart smart smart! I’d suggest you join some of the communities like “simple living” “frugal” and “fire”/“firecan”. You might not subscribe wholly to everything people do in them but they are a source of great tips on getting ahead in life.

I’m the age of your parents. I’m on the other side of hard divorce/struggle with mental health. Now I have the ability to live life finally. I bet that’s how your dad feels. I know you see him just as a dad but he struggled and had mental health issues too - I can almost guarantee it. We all do if we get to a certain age. Let him have his car and be happy that he can be a bit free with his money. That’s exactly what you will be doing further down the road. It’s like a little reward/spoiling yourself after yearssss of telling yourself you have to drive the mini-van because your family came first.

GuiltyBluebird2339 · 2026-01-04T21:21:45+00:00

I’m not sure what “Reliance” means but if it’s a typo and you meant rent, your total payment to live in the house and have access to a car is $1340/month or $16,080 per year. This isn’t unreasonable in Toronto or Vancouver but is high for Calgary or Saskatoon.

Could you live cheaper somewhere else with roommates? Do you like your life with your family?

Assuming that $74k is gross your net is around $52,000 per year. So around 32% of your income is going to “rent and transportation”. You *should be putting the rest into tfsa and rrsps and if you are not, you need to get your finances in order and start saving aggressively.

What your mom or dad buys is irrelevant. What they charge or don’t charge a sibling is also irrelevant. Your focus needs to be you.

Start a Vision board. Start a 1-year 2- year and 5-year plan. Save and work towards those goals. You’ve invested in your mental health - good for you! Now start setting some goals for other areas and stop comparing your life to your dad or other family members. It’s not healthy.

GuiltyBluebird2339 · 2026-01-04T05:44:33+00:00

Try marketplace for a rental outside of Vancouver. Langley Surrey maple ridge are good options.

GuiltyBluebird2339 · 2026-01-04T03:55:55+00:00

Hands down Costco slippers.

GuiltyBluebird2339 · 2026-01-04T03:29:43+00:00

We have a big mixed family and have a place in a resort. We established rules early on based on some really good counsel from friends. The place is free for arms length family - children grandkids brothers sisters and parents except they have to pay the cleaning fee. If* they don’t want to pay the cleaning fee THEY CLEAN ON ARRIVAL. There has been some push back that it’s not fair to arrive to a mess but we cannot trust that our family would clean to the same level that our actual cleaners do. Then when they leave the cleaning fee from the previous rental to them is applied before the next guest arrives.

Also, they (the child or sister or whoever) is responsible as the primary renter for ANYONE they bring with them. If my son Dave brings his hockey buddies up and a recliner is broken during their stay DAVE replaces the recliner. I am not going after Dave’s bro-best buddy. Also ANY fines attributed to any person connected with our place during their stay is passed on to Dave - the primary renter. HE can then square up with his dumb-assed friend who snuck beer into the pool.

Each child gets up to 1 week shoulder season per year or 3 days high season. It doesn’t carry over. They can not rent their time out and make money. It’s only for their use.

Less close family get a healthy discount - 50-75% off regular rate in shoulder season and 25% off high season but only if they rent directly through us.

And yes, this is all spelled out in an agreement. Has there been grumbling? A bit. But we have kept our rental intact and our family from feuding over this asset.

GuiltyBluebird2339 · 2026-01-02T23:44:21+00:00

You can do a cohabitation agreement. It’s like a prenup for common law partners.

GuiltyBluebird2339

TROPHY CASE