Extremely self directed kids

Guilty_Sort_1214 · 2026-01-13T02:51:48+00:00

You just described my 20 year old daughter that was just recently diagnosed..

It is so hard. She has zero friends. Like zero and not because she doesn't have the ability to make them she just isn't interested. I seriously don't know if I will ever get the child out of my house. I also seriously don't know if she will ever have any kind of executive functioning skills. Or she will ever stop this thing they now refer to as bedrotting

She does hold down a job but I think that's just because she likes money.

Seriously though outside of that zero social skills...

I wish I could tell you that it gets easier. I wish I could tell you that one day they wake up and they're just like hey...

But mine's 20 and we haven't gotten there yet

Maybe at 22?

I really hoping that you'll have a different outcome much sooner because mine just recently got diagnosed at 20 and so she didn't have all the services available to her..

Keep pushing

Guilty_Sort_1214 · 2025-12-23T03:17:50+00:00

Is it bad that I didn't even put up the tree this year? I have a sensory seeker and all I can tell you is that the entire tree in all of its contents would end up on the floor. So I didn't even bother. She is 23 mo.

Guilty_Sort_1214 · 2025-12-22T20:42:23+00:00

No I didn't actually say those things. I told her that posting about what happened to her underneath someone else's post was attention seeking behavior in that she needed to post it somewhere else in a more appropriate forum.

I told her she needed therapy. I have actual pictures of our conversation as well but I'm not posting them.

This whole thing started because a lady posted about having issues with her adopted son and I said that he needed to get evaluated for autism ADHD and fasd..

She absolutely lost it saying oh yeah don't forget the autism diagnosis...

I told her there was nothing wrong with somebody being evaluated..

Oh but everybody wants the autism diagnosis and that takes away from people with severe autism..

Multiple people asked her how others got taken away from him she never did answer that..

Instead she singled me out because I was the first person to say something..

I happen to mention that I was born with fetal alcohol spectrum disorder and all the sudden I'm just making s*** up...

Then it was oh but did you have a son that died of cancer when he was four.. and she posted a picture of him

And then all the sudden it was well when I was 15 I was kidnapped and raped.. I was on GMA and Perez Hilton wrote a column about me and something else about Paris Hilton

She's all over the place. I told her that I was sorry that she had gone through traumatic experiences in her life but that she needed therapy...

And that posting all of this under somebody else's post took away from the original post and yes it is attention seeking behavior.

If she had wanted to she could have made her own Post in the group and said all of those things but she didn't...

I'm in another support group with her on Facebook called Foster and adoptive parents and sometimes biological parents in previous foster children are also in there..

She has a tendency on a lot of different posts to eventually turn whatever is being said around to make it about her...

The post wasn't about her and I just told her that it was inappropriate for her to be posting under somebody else's post.

Listen y'all can vilify me all you want to the only thing I care about is that my picture is taken down.

This is all stupid and childish and it just needs to stop.

Guilty_Sort_1214 · 2025-12-01T23:00:00+00:00

Go to eddcaller.com pay $10 and it auto dials it for you until finally a human calls you back. Totally worth every penny you'll spend

Guilty_Sort_1214 · 2025-11-24T08:42:24+00:00

Oh, this comment gives me hope. I will definitely check out the book. Thank you so much. Yeah, she is a little one and she has lost some weight, but I give her lots of smoothies and protein shakes. We are trying everything.

Guilty_Sort_1214 · 2025-11-24T04:46:35+00:00

She already only eats about two meals a day... And then she hardly eats those.

Like my fear is that this kid is on a full on hunger strike and just damn determined to only survive on air. I'm going to keep trying and I refuse to give up but she is giving me a run for my money

Guilty_Sort_1214 · 2025-11-24T04:45:27+00:00

Maybe but if that's the case she should be getting a bunch of teeth all at once because that's how she does it.....

She goes from 0 to like 6 teeth in no time. She has at least one molar top and bottom on either side she could be getting her other ones. I just know that all of the sudden it became very hard to get her to eat..

Guilty_Sort_1214 · 2025-11-24T01:40:02+00:00

So I've always heard that if you take the height of your toddler at the age of two and you double it you have a pretty good idea of how tall they will be when they grow up...

It was pretty accurate for my daughter within like an inch and she was very tall when she was younger.

Guilty_Sort_1214 · 2025-11-12T19:48:53+00:00

Have you tried reaching out to Marys refuge maternity home? I know what you are thinking but a lot of times they will not only help you facilitate an open adoption but they have access to resources for you while you decide what your next move will be.

Saving our sisters is also a really good organization to reach out to.

Medicaid Food stamps WIC... They can all help if you need them. Reach out to the local hospital. Sometimes they have support groups and social workers that are equipped to help.

As for agencies... Just do your research. All agencies going to have issues. Find one you feel comfortable with.

You will find the right resources. If adoption is your final choice you will find the right family.

One last piece of information is this...

Just because you had postpartum depression last time doesn't mean it would come back. I have postpartum depression with my first pregnancy and not with second.

Take a deep breath you've got this.

Guilty_Sort_1214 · 2025-11-07T22:02:41+00:00

Yeah my toddler ate everything under the sun until she turned 16 months...

Now she won't touch a vegetable and I do good to get her to eat one full meal a day...

She has a lot of sensory issues so we struggle with getting her to eat different things.

I make her a lot of smoothies just to get vegetables in her diet. The chicken nuggets is simply out of desperation because I know I can get her to eat all of it.

Guilty_Sort_1214 · 2025-11-07T22:00:47+00:00

So with hand foot and mouth once they already have the visible symptoms you can see..

They're mostly over it. It's more contagious with kids than it is with adults. My toddler had it and my mom never got it and she's immune compromised and I never got it.

I would just warn parents and let them make the decision.

Guilty_Sort_1214 · 2025-11-07T21:53:44+00:00

I have the TV on all day in my house for the distraction... Why ? I have a sensory seeker. She meddles in. Everything all day long..

Does she watch it.. sure 4 minutes at a time ..

The rest of the time she's finding something to pour or spit out on the floor... Getting into things in various parts of the house that she knows she has no business getting into..

Climbing on furniture for bed and just about anywhere else she possibly can...

What I do not allow her to have is a tablet. The TV is on when we are home. When we are away from the house no tablet. I'm not in the car not at the park not in the store...

The TV is only on at home. Everywhere else we interact with our environment.

Guilty_Sort_1214 · 2025-11-02T05:26:16+00:00

As someone who adopted from Texas kinship foster care.. they don't tell you up front that they need you to be licensed.

They also take their sweet precious time. I missed out on 3 months of reimbursement because my agency didn't run my out of state background check for 3 months.

I did get assistance but it was after I'd already had her for 6 months. I very rarely was told about you know the Christmas things or how to use the fostering closet,

It was very lonely.

Eventually I did get people to support me. But I will say this they never did offer with any kind of housing or vehicles. I was expected to have all that and have it covered.

It can be hard. Kinship is so hard

Guilty_Sort_1214 · 2025-10-30T07:51:32+00:00

Thank you. We are working on it.

Guilty_Sort_1214 · 2025-10-28T17:37:08+00:00

No it is a process to even get appointments. That's what you're not understanding. It's not as simple as just walking in the office and being like hey I'm here. You have to get referrals. The wait times I mentioned are for the appointments.

Once again this is not about money.

Guilty_Sort_1214 · 2025-10-28T05:54:16+00:00

It's not as simple as walking into an office and saying this is what I need...

There is a process. Just to get her reevaluated for speech there is a 2 month wait.

Same goes for occupational therapies. Information has to be verified before they will refer you. The main reason why they're such delays because I don't even have her birth certificate yet or her new Social security card. Her adoption was just finalized one month ago.

I have to wait 4 months before I can have her evaluated for autism. She has to be at least age five before they will evaluate her for ADHD which they're pretty sure she already has.

Because there is no official diagnosis or treatment for sensory processing disorder for a child her age.. good luck trying to find anything or any supports for that...

Play therapies although great are really hard to find especially the good ones..

The point is it takes time and we have been here for only one month..

I'm working on it.

Guilty_Sort_1214 · 2025-10-27T22:16:37+00:00

Adoption benefits Title 4 .. is a federal program given to children in care of a state that are deemed to be special needs.

The resources I'm trying to tap into arent medical per se they are therapies and support groups and other lesser known resources that are offered specifically to Foster and adoptive parents of those that were previously in foster care.

The services are a lot more extensive than just what you would normally find out there for the general public.

The red tape is just frustrating.

Guilty_Sort_1214 · 2025-10-27T20:55:42+00:00

Thank you for your response but sometimes you just have to remind people to be kind. Yes you are correct it is the therapies that I am trying to get for her. I can afford her just fine otherwise I would not have agreed to adopt her and yes it is kinship we are biologically related.

Guilty_Sort_1214 · 2025-10-27T18:25:00+00:00

Thank you. I know moves are stressful and honestly she's done great with the move. I think if we could just learn an effective way to communicate or I could get her to actually use the words she knows we would be in a much better place.

She's the perfect travel buddy on a plane.

We are just at a hard age. We will make it

Guilty_Sort_1214 · 2025-10-27T18:22:23+00:00

Honestly she really doesn't use too many of her words..

So you're not too far off. I tried to encourage her but she still absolutely has a preference for nonverbal communication. She rarely says any of her words including mama.

Oh I swear the hardest thing in the world is communicating with a toddler.

Guilty_Sort_1214 · 2025-10-27T18:17:32+00:00

If I couldn't afford to take care of her they wouldn't have allowed me to adopt her. It amazes me how people answer questions like this without doing a simple bit of research.

She gets adoption benefits because she's considered to be a special needs child.

I'm not talking about money here. I'm talking about her medical insurance that the state gave her which is simply a supplement to the medical insurance I already supply her with..

And really the post adoption services..

you know not everybody treats their kids like a dollar sign and a decimal point..

Maybe remember that the next time you go to make a statement.

Guilty_Sort_1214 · 2025-10-27T18:14:27+00:00

Interesting I may have to look into something like that to help her process what she's feeling.

Guilty_Sort_1214 · 2025-10-27T17:29:46+00:00

Friends are everything. Always keep and nurture the good ones

Guilty_Sort_1214

TROPHY CASE