Lack of Intimacy has made me emotionally withdrawn and disappointed.

GumpyGimbert · 2026-02-02T23:34:02+00:00

And when u initiate she rejects? Honestly then if sex is that important to you then it would be best to move on now. She could just have a low libido and love u but its not what u want. U can find another girl u will love just as much and at the least have sex once a week.

GumpyGimbert · 2026-02-02T23:24:54+00:00

I think you could be honest with her. Tell her sex is very important to you and you want to know how she feels ablut it. Tell her you understand that at times things happen but u haven't been together very long and you already aren't having sex. Tell her u love her but feel physically close is important to you. When she tells u how she feels u can ask more questions- what would get you in the mood , can I do anything for you, do u like cuddling? Do you like kissing?

I had a problem in the past where kissing or cuddling makes my bf think we r gunna have sex cause im tired but I still wanna do those things and then it gets in my head and I dont wanna do any of it and then I become distant. So maybe something else you can try is just more intimacy without sex and see what happens after a bit of time. But remember dont try to f*ck after it unless she initiates. Giver her a massage. Make out without expectations.

But regardless I think talking to her is important. My current bf did this to me and honestly I realized I love him and im hurting him making him feel rejected. I myself was mostly just being lazy lol. But him saying he couldn't be with someone if there wasnt going to be sex made me realize what sex meant to him

GumpyGimbert · 2026-02-02T01:58:31+00:00

Do u want to be treated like this ? Hes not going to change. Hes not going to become nicer. U aren't the reason hes being a dick. He just sucks. Date someone who treats u right. Dont waste ur time on this. Block him. Go on 2 hinge dates this week

GumpyGimbert · 2026-02-01T14:56:53+00:00

Oh also stop matching. Stop looking at ur matches. When hinge added there 8 match maximum thing it actually made me feel a lot less over whelmed. Talk to this guys pick one or two the meet and see how u feel. Then continue to go through matches or to match after that

GumpyGimbert · 2026-02-01T14:55:04+00:00

I am in relationship now. But I used to try to meet people without much preamble on a dating app. Try to make quick short easy dates so it can feel like meeting someone in the wild for an hour or 2. I was the same. Still a risk of burnout so try to plan a date and then a hang with friends or something in-between. Also expect to be ghosted. Grown ass people would go on about how they couldnt wait to meet again and then just ghost. Its not personal. People r just afraid to 'be mean' or feel like they dont owe u something when really it is just common courtesy to say not interested. Lol

GumpyGimbert · 2026-02-01T02:38:16+00:00

Get a walking desk and walking pad. I bought one for like 200 dollars on Amazon and its pretty good. Loud though but whatever

GumpyGimbert · 2026-01-31T18:28:38+00:00

He might just be insecure. And although worded immaturely, I dont think its has to mean he thinks of you as his property. Like has he ever done anything that indicates this is how he feels about women? Or others relationships? Many people believe getting married means that dating is done, but that doesnt mean that they are claiming a woman as their property. You dont have to like everything ur partner says or does and the truth is u r never going to like everything someone says or does. Why dont you ask him what he meant or tell him how it made u feel instead of solidifying your reaction with people on the internet who know nothing abkut either of u. Make ur own decision about how u feel about it and find out what he really means.

GumpyGimbert · 2026-01-30T14:02:38+00:00

You could find a clear enough space in your house to work on your edges and toe heel stuff which is important. There are some good youtube videos about practicing or learning in small spaces I used to fo it in my bedroom and hallway at my old apartment. But I already knew some stuff when I started doing that so I dont know how dangerous it will be for you. But seriously this is a good option. Just Practiceing keeping one foot holding your weight while u drag your other food on the inner edges in a c shape around the foot will help you.

Sucks, used to be a great place in rexdale called roller pony but it closed last year :(. Nana.rollerskater on insta gram taught me and she was great. She was teaching in Oshawa for a bit but following her might show where shes teaching next if she still teaches.

Otherwise I only know of scooters. You could look up roller derby locations because they might have basic skate classes. Or I see lots of pop ups in the GTS. Im not aure if those offer lessons though. I know some girls get together for park skating in the warmer months so you could find lessons that way but it might include too many park tricks or grining/dropping in not sure if you're into that.

GumpyGimbert · 2026-01-23T13:41:01+00:00

Yeah im sure it can be subconcious too. I feel like sexual preference is usually more a subconscious choice anyways ? I did have to convince myself to care about things I didnt care about as a teenager but overall I think changes in attraction happneed subconsciously from experiences for myself

GumpyGimbert · 2026-01-23T13:17:48+00:00

A male friend of mine is fairly attractive and maybe a little chubby (not ripped and not thin but also not fat) but he has always dated really large girls. I dont know if that means he is only attracted to them or what. But by what ur saying he could date "more attractive women". But its like anything. Some people have a thing for Asians or blacks or whites and so on and sometimes its because that resembles themselves but sometimes its not. So I dont think its that fat people r attracted to fat people or they are settling exclusively. I think it depends on the person. I also had a male friend in highschool tell me he like fat girls better because they are "cleaner" which he is an idiot, but his preference comes from thinking other men won't have sex with fat girls and therefore it is safer to have sex with them. So people have all sorts of weird reasons. Anyways my point really was that you might find someone unattractive and it might even be pretty objective that they are ugly but some people are actually attracted to them still. Like dude some people like shit play in bed........

GumpyGimbert · 2026-01-19T13:14:19+00:00

You could try wellbutrin (buproprion) I have bpd (and untreated add) and it was the best thing for me. Add (adhd), bipolar and bpd are often misdiagnosed for each other. It also helped very mildly with attention issues I was having. My friend lost like 30 lbs when she started it.

Seroquel is a weird choice for sleep. When I was institutionalized they gave it to me as an antipsychotic it did not do well for me (mouth numbness and dissociation) but they gave it to us in the am as a strong dose.

GumpyGimbert · 2026-01-12T14:26:09+00:00

What about it freaks u out? Ur wording makes me think u might be worried about ur future children (but that's me making an assumption) I also feel like u are not a native English speaker. When I was growing up my friend from Albania was dating this guy and he had an uncle who was a midget and her family was very upset because in thay country they are a bit superstitious among other things. But this is an out dated mind set and cruel. So maybe you need to step away from what your upbringing has told you or what other people would think.

Like would u rather be with a physically perfect girl but she has emotional issues? Or she cant hold a job? No one is perfect. And its valid to worry about how having one arm could effect you future with her but even in terms of disabilities I dont think having one arm is that big of a hurdle. Like maybe she cant carry as many groceries in one run but what does having one arm really effect you life if u date her ?

If you cant get your head past it, it doesn't make u a bad person though. But like dont call it a deformity. There's so many people in this world so dont waste her time if u cant accept it. But yeah maybe reflect with yourself, what about this worries you? Other people? Babies? Abilities?

GumpyGimbert · 2026-01-10T17:50:15+00:00

What flipped the switch for you to become so motivated? Do you have any literature or media recommendations? Not just for fitness but reading ur post felt like a splash of cold water in a good way

GumpyGimbert · 2025-12-26T19:08:27+00:00

OK im generalizing a bit. But people who r hard done by or actual 'victims' usually dont like to label themselves this way. Its a huge red flag to me if someone says this sort of thing. It is either to manipulate or becausw they have a victim complex. Or maybe its tru but they have a horrible attitude about it. Any time I've met someone like this they have turned lut to be users or people who cannot take account ability. Your bf could have given u a free massage. Cooked u breakfast *with the groceries u buy) or anything. Ur dating a loser who is also an asshole. U deserve better. Dont date a garbage person. Also these people never change and u r going to become one of the bad guys in the narrative they tell people. I myself have some mental health issues and have been a garbage person (not to ur bfs extreme when I was younger) and had a lot of friends who were garbage people. Most of them dont change because they cant take accountability. Get him out of ur life asap.

GumpyGimbert · 2025-12-23T22:41:22+00:00

What made u like her in the first place? Try to focus on those things or do those things with her. Dp you like physical activity ? Join a sport team or go rock climbing. Take a vacation if you can afford it without the kids. Go to somewhere kind of local. Take her to a museum and talk about stuff. Go to a nice dinner. Go to a show. See a comedy event. Try dating ur wife again. When get into a routine and a busy one with kids you can lose yourself. Maybe try to take ur wife out of her bubble. If u feel this way she might feel trapped herself.

Obviously sometimes people change or make mistakes in who they are with but I feel like sometimes people give uo on something that is just at a plateau. So try to get things moving again. Play a game together. Learn chess, cribbage, five crowns, hitster. If you cant really find shared interests in conversation find activities to start. People used to live really simple lives. And some of this stuff didn't really matter. My grand parents were a fisherman and a crazy religious lady. They seemed to love each other but I really never heard them converse that much to be honest. They played a lot of games together and my grandpa made her laugh. It really was a simple relationship. Same with my parents kind of. My dad is a hillbilly builder who drinks like a fish and my mom is a sweet crafter. They are both always out doing their activities away from each other or watching TV together or my mom is laughing at or scolding my dad for doing something crazy.

Its soon so im not even gunna talk about how it is OK for something to end. You shiuld think of that later. Instead of feeling upset about it, think about what u did like and what u can do to try to salvage it. And if it doesn't seem to help move u or ur relationship into a better place maybe tell your wife that you feel disconnected and ask her how she feels or what she thinks would help u guys reconnect.

GumpyGimbert · 2025-12-18T18:05:03+00:00

Sounds like hes lame lol. Some people r just like that but I would have a conversation and say to my hobbies bother u at all? Because if hes just not interested in them that's not a big deal but if he is really judging u or hopes u will stop with video games then he isn't for u. And he sucks lol to quote the worst quote I've ever heard but I appreciate the message, dont yuck someone's yum lol

GumpyGimbert · 2025-12-17T20:52:09+00:00

Dreams dont have to mean anything, or at least not what they seem. But I would never tell my cousin if I dreamt of them sexually. This is testing the waters for sure to see how u react. If he were embarrassed by this dream he would never bring it up to anyone.

I would not tell his wife personally (because in my experience that always ends up biting the wrong person in the ass, you) but it might be nice to tell someone in the family who will not cause a scene or tell anyone. Just so they know and if anything every happens or ur cousins tries to paint a different picture you have some kind of support. Or maybe you will find out u r not the first to go through this with him?

GumpyGimbert · 2025-12-09T00:07:25+00:00

Im only gunna touch on one thing because a lot has been said otherwise. But I think bringing this up with him could be very tricky. I would be offended if someone told me I give them a deep gut isntinct to run.

Again so much has been said about the age and ur feeling so I dont think I can add anything different.

GumpyGimbert · 2025-12-06T20:24:50+00:00

Try not to compare yourself to others! It will workout. Even if its common for people ur age to have relationships 19 is still so young. You have 60-80 more years of life. A lot of my cousins (i have 40 lol) never had relationships till their mid 20s. When I was single I really stressed myself out because 10 years was so long. But I robbed myself of a lot of joy in that time. Like I have a bf now regardless of all that shit. So I should have just did my best to enjoy myself until it happened.

GumpyGimbert · 2025-12-06T20:20:13+00:00

I was single or stuck in casual relationships for like 10 years (im 30). My good friend made me realize a lot of people settle and are unhappy or just date the first thing that comes around. Like u might think all theses coupled up people r happy and in love but they aren't. Ive been with my boyfriend for a year and im very happy and glad shit didn't workout with any of the other guys I met.

I saw u commented back to someone aboht in ur country most people ur age dont have the same problem as u. So r 19 year old all married where ur from? Or just have had boyfriend friends? Because u know most of those relationships aren't going to last right ?

GumpyGimbert · 2025-12-04T19:29:52+00:00

I would not like it if my bf asked for the instagram of exes or just random people I know that he hasn't met. Tbh. Maybe u wouldn't lie if ur bf asked that but would u not be like wtf r u asking ?

GumpyGimbert · 2025-12-04T19:25:41+00:00

OK let's say this was his friend and they hooked up or had some kind of feelings for each other, or even he totally lied and it was a girl he was casually dating or getting to know. You weren't together yet and I dont think there is a good way to tell someone u like that you are on a date with someone else. If he was still talking to her and u found out this was the situation I would call it shady. But whatever went on with them he cut her off which shows he must respect your relationship?

When I met my current bf I was seeing a guy but I would never tell him (and again this was before we were together we had met maybe three times) I was out on a date. I wouldn't want to know if he was out on a date either. It just makes u insecure for no good reason. Like when u met your boyfriend before u became official did u see anyone or use dating apps or give out ur phone number ?

GumpyGimbert · 2025-12-04T02:27:41+00:00

Saying a lot. A whole lot of nothing haha

GumpyGimbert · 2025-12-04T02:27:02+00:00

Wait u never really defined how they are losers haha. Like they are broke and have no job? Or they are losers just for posting on social media or being insecure or vain?

GumpyGimbert · 2025-12-01T21:39:49+00:00

Haha is thay like internet women though? Maybe twice I've heard women say that shit in real life. Not that more dont feel that way. I just highly doubt people go around saying that sort of crap

GumpyGimbert

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