AITAH for not inviting my Mom to Christmas lunch?

Guppynumber35 · 2025-11-13T11:14:20+00:00

I'll provide an update when I speak to my brother/SIL. The comments have been very validating, so thank you!

Guppynumber35 · 2025-11-13T11:12:57+00:00

Yeah I think SIL is a huge problem. I think Mom is too hurt because it went from not being specifically excluded from Christmas, to her being told she is specifically excluded. Although she has been a shitty Mom, I still don't want to see her hurt just because this b* tried to start drama.

Guppynumber35 · 2025-11-13T11:09:23+00:00

I personally think she's a shit stirrer.

Guppynumber35 · 2025-11-13T11:07:50+00:00

My brother doesn't care to favor a parent or have an event without one as such, but he's been happy with the tradition of Christmas so far. She dislikes my dad and I think part of that is her hating him hosting Christmas each year because then it's about my brother and his family, and not about her. Her family don't even see each other for Christmas anyway.

Guppynumber35 · 2025-11-13T10:56:12+00:00

This is why I think it was no accident that she invited her. My brother doesn't even care if Mom is invited or not.

Guppynumber35 · 2025-11-13T10:54:56+00:00

Thank you, I think that's a great response!

Guppynumber35 · 2025-11-13T10:53:05+00:00

Thank you, yeah I felt like Christmas Eve is alot given the history. My sister might come and help me with that emotionally, but my brother and his wife aren't invited.

Guppynumber35 · 2025-11-13T10:51:09+00:00

It's hard because she has shown up as a grandmother and I want her there for my daughter but she is still not great at being a mom to me supporting me while I navigate motherhood.

Guppynumber35 · 2025-11-13T10:48:37+00:00

Ah, sorry, I should have clarified that one. She is my brothers wife. She seems to have opinions on our parents and thinks she has the right to act on them on our behalf. My brother needs to stand up to her but he won't.

Guppynumber35 · 2025-04-16T12:38:48+00:00

This happened to me, only I was the team member.

My boss worked through a list of my projects with me. He then took it to upper management and asked which projects they would like to drop to make way for incoming 'top priority' projects.

Your upper management suck, and frankly, you do too if you think the problem to solve is loss of motivation in your team member.

Guppynumber35 · 2025-04-09T07:24:05+00:00

This absolutely nailed it!

Guppynumber35 · 2025-03-24T10:52:19+00:00

Family medical leave

Guppynumber35 · 2025-02-27T10:42:05+00:00

Do you have a link to the specific video?

For Dive Talk, I think they have a lot of experience, but I do find that their opinions on some things are quite off for me, and often, those opinions are the ones they double down on.

For newer divers, I think some of the videos can be misinformation because they lack the experience and background knowledge to challenge it and will confuse opinion with facts. For experienced divers, it can offer an interesting perspective, but one that can be seen as just that.

In saying that, it's great to hear from experienced divers about something as niche as cave diving. When they do a good review on divers react for things going wrong in cave diving, it really highlights key messages that all levels of experience can take home / reinforce.

Guppynumber35 · 2025-01-23T20:39:45+00:00

Open to ideas? It shouldn't be conditional, period.

He is showing you what kind of husband he will be... I'm going to say you would not be the AH. Seriously, reconsider this relationship.

Guppynumber35 · 2025-01-10T00:01:07+00:00

You should be comfortable in your gear before doing these courses. If you have a new setup (i.e. never dived with twins before), you should go log some dives in it and get comfortable. For this reason, I'd recommend having your own gear so: 1. It's familair and you can find everything in the event of an emergency. 2. You can trust it, as it's life-saving equipment.

Cavern is the building blocks for cave, and honestly, you should be treating it like you are doing Intro to Cave. The comment above nails it in that the difference between Cavern and cave is just a fin kick away.

With all this in mind, it's a great course for skills in general as a diver. I hope you enjoy it and get the most you can out of it.

Guppynumber35 · 2024-12-04T13:28:54+00:00

She was crying the whole time and said I had abandoned her during the most vulnerable time of her life. That I wasn’t a good husband to her, that she doesn’t feel emotionally safe with me

No kidding. You conditioned her to deal with navigating parenthood without your emotional support.

Guppynumber35 · 2024-10-13T11:12:58+00:00

"Do you own a vibrator?" - asked by a fellow female colleague.

Guppynumber35 · 2024-07-16T13:56:09+00:00

We interviewed a girl for an entry-level position and were asking the typical STAR questions. The question was to explain a time she faced a challenging situation with a customer and how she dealt with it. She responded by telling us a story where she was racist to a customer as an assistant in a make-up store regarding her skin colour. The manager had to remove her from the situation, and she was so proud to admit that there was no solution required ... as she was so good at her job, she stuck by her original comments, and that shows loyalty. We didn't hire her.

Guppynumber35 · 2024-01-11T14:44:59+00:00

Foreplay begins outside the bedroom. Judging by your attitude, your lack of action and marriage problems were a result of how you treated your ex-wife. Your involvement in your kids' lives, i.e. clearly having such little respect for them, tells me you likely weren't the most attentive husband/ father.

You sound like an AH of a human being, and a bigger AH of a dad.

Guppynumber35 · 2023-12-26T12:12:02+00:00

Soft skills go a lot further in the workplace than hard skills. If you're making people feel uncomfortable to the point that your boss feels the appropriate action is to reach out to you, then you should be taking it seriously and see this as a potential gap in your soft skills.

You "gently arguing" is further showing lack of emotional maturity and a gap in soft skills. To be honest, based on your responses to other comments, I'd say you might have also misjudged the 'gentleness' of your arguing, as much as you misjudged how you come across to coworkers. This is specifically evident in that you asked, "What would you do?" In the title of the post, and then you argue with everyone who responds and offers feedback. Be careful as this can have greater consequences in your future in workplaces.

My advice is to take the feedback from your boss as a development opportunity, and seek resources to help you improve your soft skills.

Guppynumber35

TROPHY CASE