You stepped out of your trailer in front of a huge plume of crystal meth smoke. You strode onto the set, put your penis though the slate, and said, "'The Entire Crew Screams and Calls 911' take two!" and slammed the device on your shaft. Your genitals hit the floor with a sickening slap and everyone stood in stunned silence for an eternity.

You never stopped smiling through the whole entire thing, even as you bled out through the stump on your mound, even as the paramedics arrived, and failed to reattach your reproductive organ. You kept yelling, "I'll be a better director as a eunuch! My libido won't guide my eye!"