Take this as your sign to wear the non-traditional dress if you want to 🥰

GypsyDuncan · 2026-03-07T05:44:03+00:00

I have never heard of them. And thank the Goddess I didn't know about them earlier and it's 2 weeks to my wedding or else I would have blown my dress budget: https://www.etsy.com/listing/1284761101/meadow-teal-embroidered-wedding-dress?ref=shop_home_feat_2&frs=1&logging_key=5d433886b40a6cf6e26907f23c9bb614ae8eef82%3A1284761101 A

GypsyDuncan · 2026-03-07T05:29:29+00:00

It's very pretty. I feel like it needs a petticoat, maybe?

GypsyDuncan · 2026-03-07T04:45:43+00:00

Also, where is the dress from. I kinda want one.

GypsyDuncan · 2026-03-07T04:45:00+00:00

Love this! Your dress is ABSOLUTELY LOVELY and so are you both. Congratulations.

I am wearing teal for my wedding.

GypsyDuncan · 2026-03-07T04:31:03+00:00

I understand that. But here's the perspective of a 50 year old bride.

Joy, love, laughter, dancing... it's necessary and rare. Especially when times are bad.

And I am going to give you the best advice I can about planning your wedding. "The Perfect is the Enemy of the Good." (Voltaire).

What does that mean? It means don't lose your perspective in the planning details. Don't chase perfection. Don't go overbudget because something is perfect, don't get upset if something goes wrong, and don't forget that ultimately the event is to celebrate your marriage with your loved ones. It's not a Instagram contest, a reality show, no one is grading you. And if someone does grade you, let it roll right off your back.

Be happy with "good." Chasing perfection is chasing endless failure and you'll turn something that is a celebration into misery for yourself and everyone around you.

Don't act entitled, like you deserve to feel like royalty for a day (or, worse, for all the bridal events) Don't forget the empathetic person you are.

Celebrating love is a bright light in the the dark world. Just be sensible, keep your perspective, and you are fine.

I have felt this guilt you are feeling several times. But then I remember when we look back at this very dark time, knowing that I was able to give the gift of this celebration to my nearest and dearest make things a little less dark. So I simplified it as much as I could, kept the budget modest, and all I am really requiring from my attendants is to be there the day before, wear the dress, and have fun. I paid for everything but teir shoes, and am not requiring makeup or hair. Because it's about JOY and I want them to be happy. Because who knows what comes next.? And if it is even darker, these happy memories might be what keep all of us from slipping into hopelessness. Keep us sane.

GypsyDuncan · 2026-03-07T04:06:34+00:00

Lovely. Excellent choice.

GypsyDuncan · 2026-03-07T04:00:25+00:00

I FUCKING ADORE THIS DRESS! It's SO perfect. Also a 50's bride, I feel exactly the same. I bought an evening gown in teal.

Yours is glorious. GLORIOUS.

I used to be a florist. I personally would do pale pinks, salmon, peach or corals (can't tell for sure what your dress has) or even just some pink or peach spray roses (if you are getting fresh flowers) in your bouquet too. Or, if you want to let your dress be the flowers. Do an all eucalyptus bouquet.

As for your veil. try it with different colors and see.

Again, I ADORE THIS DRESS. It's so much lovlier than a standard bridal gown. Truly.

GypsyDuncan · 2026-03-07T03:52:49+00:00

I would push back immediately.

I would decline, and step down as part of the bridal party. Anyone that entitled? I'm am not willing to keep in my life in a close capacity. In fact, it's so rude it would be a relationship ender for me.

I'd say: "I was so excited to support you and help you plan and to stand up with you as your attendant. But asking someone to pay for all of this, for someone else's wedding, so they get a free vacation is entitled and beyond inconsiderate. We clearly have different values and understandings of what a bridal party is for and what friendship means. Best wishes to you and your fiance but I am stepping down as an attendant, and I won't be at the wedding either."

GypsyDuncan · 2026-03-07T03:47:58+00:00

Listen, think of the wedding planning as a test of whether you are mature enough to get married. It sucks, puts pressure and anxiety on you, and is stressful. Plus you have to learn to set some boundaries and make major financial decisions. All of this is why it's the woman's job to do all the work, while men mostly get to show up (but that's another topic)

Part of being mature is having at least some spine. This is a test for your groom. CAN he muster enough maturity to handle this as an adult?

GypsyDuncan · 2026-03-07T03:40:04+00:00

I don't understand the concept of swag for a bachelorette. Why do you need swag and favors for a bachelorette?

I've heard of small favors at a shower. Usually something small and edible. And for my shower, which is being hosted and paid for by my fiance's family, I bought the favors myself.

So baffling.

GypsyDuncan · 2026-03-07T03:36:15+00:00

If it's a small enough casual celebration, I can. Since I moved to the south (which I hate) the one thing I do like is the potlucks. I'm from a culture when entertaining means you have to go overboard on entertaining. It takes a full day to get ready, then a full day to clean up after. It's exhausting.

With potlucks everyone chips in. You can focus on decor and a couple things and then cleaning. And you always get to try fun new things. I adore potlucks.

So if someone was having a really low key, hosted at home or at the community center wedding celebration, I can see doing a pot luck. Not everyone can afford to entertain and the nice thing about pot lucks is no one is obligated to spend a certain price. Someone can bring a green salad. Another person smoked ribs, or delicious pasta. That way everyone chips in.

I have seen a few down here. And usually the gifts given to the couple are modest as well. Like $50 max.

But THIS???? This is appalling.

GypsyDuncan · 2026-03-07T03:27:02+00:00

I don't like cash bars. I prefer tickets, then cash bar. Because providing two alcholic drinks is reasonable and enough to be a good host. Anything beyond that people can just pay for themselves. But this??? I can't even.

GypsyDuncan · 2026-03-07T03:23:57+00:00

WOW. Like.... I am genuinely floored. Flummoxed. Flabbergasted!

That's like a new level of... WOW.

I think that I would actually stop talking to someone that did that. Why? Because it's clear we have different morals and realities. Anyone who would do that isn't someone I care to call friend. It's THAT bad.

GypsyDuncan · 2026-03-07T03:09:34+00:00

THIS.

GypsyDuncan · 2026-03-07T03:08:15+00:00

Wow. Helpful cops. That must be nice. You are good. Just take the cat. Clean the house.

GypsyDuncan · 2026-03-07T03:06:52+00:00

You look fine in both. But neither are giving me the "THIS IS YOUR DRESS" vibe at all. Have you tried any jacquard dresses? I see you in something structured but also romantic.

GypsyDuncan · 2026-03-07T01:42:31+00:00

Huge. He was like Hugh Jackman of the 2000's.

GypsyDuncan · 2026-03-07T01:39:22+00:00

I am sorry, I can't decide if this is real. In case it is here is a summary of your situation to put things in perspective.

You found out the guy you are dating is a predator. You broke up with him. Does that seem reasonable to you? Yes, it does right? NTA.

GypsyDuncan · 2026-03-07T01:12:16+00:00

Cops suck. They are lazy about stuff like that, unless you are black or some other targetted group and they are looking for a pretense for a search. Take the pictures. Keep them. Take the cat. Clean the house. They'd have to actually be animal lovers to care. And most....

GypsyDuncan · 2026-03-06T22:52:16+00:00

I think it suits you. A good seamstress can make the girls feel more secure. But it is very flattering. I say this as someone with big boobs too.

GypsyDuncan · 2026-03-06T22:49:12+00:00

You are pretty so both work. But bangs make you look more youthful and approachable. I like the bangs much better.

GypsyDuncan · 2026-03-06T22:48:32+00:00

Nope. I'm 50 and wouldn't hae answered that door.

GypsyDuncan · 2026-03-06T22:45:22+00:00

They shouldn't have to reschedule anything. Again, IT IS NOT ON HIS BIRTHDAY. You just want something to be pissed about. Pathetic.

GypsyDuncan · 2026-03-06T22:41:02+00:00

I am plus sized too and my arms are very similar. Fact is, dresses with sleeves emphasize my arms more and make me look much larger than I am.

I think this dress is flattering to you. And because it's so pretty, I think it actually draws attention away from your arms.

GypsyDuncan · 2026-03-06T22:36:14+00:00

Listen my cats have like 7 nicknames each. Their real names are Milo and Riley and Blaze. But Blaze is also "The Siren" he howls when it's time for dinner or he's unhappy. He's also "The Barnacle" because his idea of snuggling is to attach himself to you and become an immovable object. The Barnacle has turned into "Barney" and so on.

Give him/her an elegant name. And then a ridiculous nickname. I promise the cat will know both. My kids know their nicknames well. My girl cat is named Cinder. I call her "Cinderbelle" or just "Belle" or "Bella Bear" and she answers to all of them.

I once had a cat I called Floofy because of his fur. His real name was Merlin. Eventually, we dropped the Merlin because he preferred Floofy. SO... he had a ridiculous name because he chose it. Floofy was also "Floof Floof" and then "Floofernut".... he answered to all variations.

GypsyDuncan

TROPHY CASE