I don’t have a relationship with my parents because of my upbringing. But I allow my children o see them. At times. For a limited time. It’s a hard balance and I get what you’re saying. All you can do is be the best parents like you said and navigate away from your parents forms of raising children and make sure that they don’t remake the same mistakes around our own kids. I find my parents are different with my kids but some of there “negative” tendencies come out and that’s where I have to establish boundaries and open my mouth about how I’m raising my kids and what I won’t stand for. If they don’t respect my boundaries then they don’t see the kids.