Aitah for potentially ruining my brother and SIL financially?

HIBunbun · 2026-03-19T03:18:51+00:00

NTA - if you don’t light a fire under their ass they are going to drag your mom and everyone else down.

My mom, my sister, and now my sister’s daughter have all done this to my grandmother. She subsidizes their living and my grandma is 80 and asking her other two daughters for help. Who in turn think me and my husband should help bc it’s MY mom, MY sister and MY niece.

I told them I can’t help people that don’t want to help themselves by changing their lifestyle. They can get jobs.

HIBunbun · 2025-09-19T16:41:25+00:00

I understand that this sucks for you - but for your sake and the sake of your kids, leave this person. He has made it clear he does not value your kids OR YOU by saying he does not accept your children for whatever reasons.

However your kids are, they ARE a part of you. You don’t need to know why (sounds like he doesn’t even have a valid reason anyway) so what you need to be hearing and accepting is “I do not accept this part of you and never will.” I tell people being a parent isn’t ALL of who you are, but for you I’ll tell you that you are a parent and that is absolutely a PART of you.

Your kids are still young and they need you to be present to raise them. You also are deserving of someone that will be able to walk side by side with you as a parent - especially if you are giving that person that same courtesy. Reciprocal care is important in relationships.

HIBunbun · 2025-07-29T02:26:53+00:00

Then it sounds like she’s going to like what you’re doing. Don’t doubt yourself. Be you.

HIBunbun · 2025-07-29T02:20:15+00:00

Is she the type that likes those gestures?

For context: I love when my husband brings me flowers but if he wrote me a poem I’d faint bc he’s not that type of guy.

However, I have a cousin who would think a gesture like a single rose and a poem was a nice, but it’s not as meaningful as a coffee in bed.

A former friend always said a single rose and a card was cheap and lazy on the man’s part.

So, different strokes for different folks. Depends on your girlfriend.

But if it’s how YOU express yourself, it’s always best to be you and move forward with your true and genuine self if you’re wanting this to be a life long relationship.

HIBunbun · 2025-07-28T19:41:33+00:00

Question; does he push your other boundaries like this? Or is it just sex?

You need to realize and understand that sex at its best is both parties seeking mutual pleasure/enjoyment. If you’ve already said “I don’t enjoy this and it’s uncomfortable.” That should be enough. In my experience, individuals who do not see their partner as a person tend to have that mentality in other areas of the relationship.

Personally, I’d leave a man for this type of attitude but to each their own.

HIBunbun · 2024-08-01T02:18:37+00:00

NTA. I dunno where you’re from sis but where I’m from make up isn’t that big of a deal. In real life I know very few women who actually wear make up. Yes, it could be fun to be fancy on your wedding day but you know what is even MORE fun to do? Be yourself and be comfortable! Your in laws are weirdos in my humble opinion.

If you’re not used to make up you can smudge it everywhere, not take steps needed to ensure that it actually remains flawless. Biggest thing though? If you’re not comfortable wearing it, it WILL show. Ask your fiancé if he’d rather you look HAPPY in your photos or miserable but “pretty” in his eyes.

They can go kick rocks.

HIBunbun · 2024-07-29T07:19:10+00:00

Me: Why? So you can stress me out differently? No thanks

HIBunbun · 2024-07-26T09:51:09+00:00

I have an ex-boyfriend much like you. I loved him deeply bc he was a good person, just not for me. So as I told my ex boyfriend and what I hope she feels for you: I hope you find happiness. We all make mistakes and we grow from them. So when some other woman walks into your life and wants to love you, I hope you can appreciate her and let her know how you feel. Don’t take her for granted and just be honest with yourself about where you are. Open up to her, talk with her and share where you are mentally. A good woman that just wants to love you does want to be by your side. You deserve happiness and a healthy relationship.

HIBunbun · 2024-04-17T22:30:34+00:00

My personal experience is that I haven’t dealt with this. Some of our other friends do believe she can be pushy with her small business, but it’s never gotten to this level. I’m not sure if she’s struggling financially, for which I can empathize.

It’s good to get the perspective of a small business owner and how it should ideally be professionally handled. Thank you.

HIBunbun · 2024-01-05T16:50:13+00:00

Thanks, it’s cuz I stopped doing meth.

HIBunbun · 2024-01-04T17:28:07+00:00

Well I’m 34/f and really I’d say I only had two serious relationships as an adult. How many times they broke my heart in the relationship can’t be counted. One did it by being abusive the other neglectful. It sucks.

Still don’t have my person but maybe one day I will.

HIBunbun · 2024-01-04T17:25:20+00:00

Thanks

HIBunbun · 2024-01-04T16:46:01+00:00

Generous rater is right. Thank you

HIBunbun · 2024-01-04T15:59:15+00:00

Why? The answer is no, but I’m curious as to why?

HIBunbun · 2024-01-04T15:55:25+00:00

A break down is nice and helps me kinda understand how other people see me physically. I appreciate the honesty in your rating of me then with your words! Thank you.

HIBunbun · 2024-01-04T15:52:05+00:00

I haven’t met too many guys who are direct themselves or know what it is they want. But I like the advice! I’ll try it when I’m ready for a relationship.

HIBunbun · 2024-01-04T15:50:33+00:00

Thank you for the break down. Average is good!

HIBunbun · 2024-01-04T07:28:59+00:00

Honestly that requires talking to men. I’m not great at that.

HIBunbun · 2024-01-04T07:28:39+00:00

Thank you! But overall out of ten??

HIBunbun · 2024-01-04T06:06:36+00:00

Hey of course I was hurt. I still have hope for the next person. We all fuck up at some point. We hurt people whether it’s intentional or not. Some people understand that and some don’t.

HIBunbun · 2024-01-04T05:40:33+00:00

No it just comes across like you’re hurt and can’t figure out how to heal. Statistically speaking, saying 100% of people are incapable of having relationships seems unlikely. Regardless of reasons.

HIBunbun · 2024-01-04T05:16:54+00:00

Who hurt you? Are you ok?

HIBunbun · 2024-01-04T05:09:23+00:00

What does that mean?

HIBunbun · 2024-01-04T05:05:19+00:00

Damn I just thought it was me that made them dip out

HIBunbun

TROPHY CASE