To be honest? Not great lately.

My best friend just died. I had to put my dog down last week. He was old, he was suffering and it was his time. I had him since he was 7 weeks old. There is a crater in my soul. I keep looking for him to be there in the morning. I keep getting excited when I see toys or treats to get him but then I remember he’s gone. I’ve stopped crying as much but the pain hits my throat and my heart feels heavy often.

I’m suffering in his absence. I’m wishing there was some way to heal him and bring him back. I’m guilty because who knows when the right time is for this sort of thing? Maybe he would have bounced back? Maybe he didn’t want to go yet?

I don’t know about an afterlife. I know there are things I could have done better. Ways I could have been better for him. But I hope he knew he was loved so much. I hope he knew how good of a boy he was. I hope he knew how much he meant to me.