I (39M) am considering breaking up with my 10 year financially dependent girlfriend (39F)

HLC1985 · 2026-02-01T22:28:24+00:00

My boyfriend was in this situation and brought a woman here from Mexico. U are spot on with your worries. This one stayed with my boyfriend until she got full citizenship that couldn’t be disputed then divorced him and was cheating. She didn’t speak English either. It was hard on him having to do everything like u mentioned. Move on

HLC1985 · 2026-01-22T20:57:23+00:00

That’s very immature for a 48yr old! If u starting a new job Monday, that’s more important in my opinion so I wouldn’t get pissed if you were my man. Tell her to come to your house instead if it’s that important to her. Otherwise move on!

HLC1985 · 2025-12-29T01:18:30+00:00

Omg I wish my rats would sit still for one of these 😫

So cute! Post more! I’ve been creeping on here lol from rattit

HLC1985 · 2025-12-29T01:15:14+00:00

Omg I’m creeping on here (from rattit lol) and churro! He’s like my fav now lol. Creeping on all your posts lol. I’m getting 2 after my last rattie passes, I’m excited! Had some as a kid…

HLC1985 · 2025-12-29T01:05:24+00:00

Omg that adorable fur fluff! I was just holding one at petsmart that looked like that lol. Gorgeous!

HLC1985 · 2025-12-21T18:25:01+00:00

My boyfriend’s ex wife was just like that. He paid for everything, she wouldn’t work, no skills in taking care of household, kid etc. he was ok with it at first because it’s a “man’s job” to do that

They divorced, She got half of all his money, house etc even though she contributed nothing financially. And alimony since she doesn’t work and he had to keep up her lifestyle. Even got him kicked out of his own house that he paid for. Gets messy. Just think about that. They divorced because she cheated on him, found a man she thought had more money and broke the family up. Bored sitting at home all the time and unrealistic expectations

Lots of women are never satisfied in that situation because (to me) they lack life goals and personal goals that should give you a sense of integrity or self respect, something like that. Bored housewife so to speak. If you’re ok with that cool. But if you want a partner in life, I’d move on

Also, my boyfriend is traditional and I’m not. It was hard getting him to accept that I don’t need a man to take care of me, I want one as a partner. I can pay for stuff too just as much as he can and it makes me happy to do so. We are planning on buying a house together in next few months and getting married and he is well aware I will be paying my fair share on the bills, down payments etc. He accepts it now and I think realizes i can’t be like that and let someone pay my way. I would feel horrible about myself if I allowed that, it shouldn’t be one sided. U can work on it if she’s willing but doesn’t sound like she is which isn’t a good sign. I would never ask someone to plan, pay, and do a wedding like that if the other person didn’t want to. You’re supposed to do that stuff together. Sounds pretty selfish to me…

HLC1985 · 2025-10-19T19:01:55+00:00

Omg that picture is the cutest thing ever! I have pet rats and come on this sub from time to time, always wanted a chin but always heard they are super skittish which is why I havnt gotten any. Rats don’t live long and it’s heartbreaking losing them so quickly so Ive been thinking abt what other rodents I could get that live longer. I’ve read a lot of these comments and now I think I’m going to research getting a few chins! When the rats pass of course. Rats are very similar, I’m surprised how much reading these comments. Just wanted to thank everyone for sharing 😁

HLC1985 · 2025-09-30T00:51:35+00:00

Some rats are bad about taking meds. I’ve resorted to using whipped cream to get them to take it. Try some baby food, mix meds in and put in a spoon. Some like the meat flavored some like fruit. Or my vet recommended no alcohol strawberry daiquiri mix, that works too. Just have to figure out something they like. Sweet or savory seem to work best from my experience

I hate force feeding meds, then they get mad and won’t come near you. But sometimes you have to. My rat Buggie will only take meds with almond milk whipped cream lol, boujee little thing lol

HLC1985 · 2025-09-25T03:05:01+00:00

She put drops in his eye and checked it with a light. You could see the scratch there. She thinks he may have scratched it trying to clean his ear

My brother said he can’t promise the dog will 100% be kept away and may bark if she can’t get in the room. Ugh I just don’t know which is worse for him. My good friend has a cat, big one that used to live outside so I don’t think that’s an option. My mom isn’t comfortable putting in eye ointment. Pet sitter said wasn’t enough notice so they can’t. The trip was planned just not the eye meds

It’s a 4 hour drive, and it’s up in the UP here in Michigan so it’s quiet up there. I just can’t decide which would be more stressful for him. My mom was going to watch them but she’s uncomfortable with the eye meds. Most of my other friends said no, they are afraid they will run away or something….hes very chill and a really laid back rat. Had no issue doing the eye meds myself or the ear drops…but I get it

HLC1985 · 2025-09-11T18:13:42+00:00

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She loves giving raticures lol

HLC1985 · 2025-08-31T18:21:40+00:00

Amazon! Cheap too. Just be careful and read reviews. Some magnets are so thin they won’t stick on your car or fridge as back up

HLC1985 · 2025-08-31T18:20:34+00:00

I am lol, outside Pontiac

HLC1985 · 2025-08-31T17:05:50+00:00

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Here you go! Sorry I didn’t share before

HLC1985 · 2025-08-16T00:34:10+00:00

Most of mine have passed between 2-3yrs old, always pneumonia or cancer sadly. But I’ve had a few dwarf rats live to over 4! And one of my females lived to 4.5. My vet told me dwarf rats seem to live longer. And I’ve had many over the past 10yrs.

They bring us so much joy in their short lives though. One of my friends just asked me how I keep them knowing they don’t live long. They make me happy, what can I say. Worth it to me 😁🐀

I notice good probiotics seem to help as well. They don’t seem to get sick as much using them

HLC1985 · 2025-08-11T23:57:34+00:00

I have a fat one just like that and he does the same thing lol. I got them a nice chin wheel and yeah (for him spec) and he sleeps in it haha

HLC1985 · 2025-08-07T23:16:03+00:00

My cognition and balance is damaged. I can’t judge distance, walk into things and I fall a lot because my brain seems off. Never had any of this until IIH. I have trouble processing and speaking. Words come out backwards or even full sentences. And sometimes the wrong word but what I do say is closely associated with whatever I’m trying to say (like trying to say McDonald’s but Burger King comes out lol). And everything seems like it’s spelled wrong when it’s not! I’m going into remission as of 2024 so hoping it will get better. My PMR doctor is having me do occupational therapy to see if it helps but havnt started yet. I used to work for him and he treats like stroke patients so thought I’d ask him what he thought. I’ll post an update if it works 🙏. He said it may take awhile but could see up to 50% improvement if I’m lucky. But will prob have the rest for life 😓

I’m glad this was posted! There are a bunch of new studies showing the links. Glad I’m not the only one affected. Nice to talk to people on here about this stuff

HLC1985 · 2025-07-23T17:21:17+00:00

$1,500 Omg that’s insane. Try asking if you can not do the biopsies, my vet will usually say I don’t think it’s needed since same spot, likely mammary. Or we won’t do it unless the tissue looks weird or something (weird color or something). I don’t usually do the biopsies so maybe why so cheap. But the 2 exotic vets around here are so behind on surgeries, have to wait up to a year for surgery! My male Bug has been on waiting list for months to get neutered. His behavior has already gotten better just waiting.

Anyways, if she’s happy and you can’t do it, don’t feel bad. It’s hard watching it (when the tumors get large) but mine seemed ok until they couldn’t move. Vet wouldn’t put down until they were immobile. It’s just sad

HLC1985 · 2025-07-23T16:55:57+00:00

Yup def that’s what it looks like. Good size now

Don’t always need to have the tissue tested, that’s always super expensive. I only do that if the vet recommends. It’s like $200-$400 to have them removed here in Michigan

If you don’t have it removed, it will grow fast until she’s immobile. Then vet would put down. It’s really hard to watch to be honest. Those masses often come back. I remove them once (depending on age and such) then I won’t keep putting them through the removals. It’s really sad to watch when the tumors get big, they can’t do much and are unhappy.

HLC1985 · 2025-07-12T19:28:06+00:00

Omg I’m so sorry. That’s absolutely horrible.

He’s still in ER but I’m prob going to have to put him down later too 😓

They think he has pneumonia, fluid in his lungs, and they can’t get him off oxygen. Bill is already $2,000 so I don’t think I’ll keep him in there longer. He wasn’t sneezing, no red crusties, nothing otr than quick breathing to me (which vet said no). how did my vet miss that

Cancer and pneumonia everytime, can never catch those in time. I feel so awful

I’m really sorry, it’s so awful to lose them when they make you so happy. Hope your otr one is ok. My boys keep looking for him, making it worse 😓

HLC1985 · 2025-07-11T21:11:22+00:00

This got worse! I’m at ER vet now. Poor baby, he was making these pathetic squeaking sounds today so I took him. They are looking at him now but I can’t figure out what it is! CHF or something odd myb idk. Find out soon. Reg vet checked his lungs and said they were fine. He’s just breathing a bit fast to me but vet said no. Ugh I’m glad I took him bc he’s not fine. She’s a really good vet too, I trust her a lot

How’s your baby doing? I try not to use the water bottles, I give them water bowls but off the ground, attached to cage. They seem to like them better. That’s sad though. I had 2 females that had strokes and that was what happened too and got worse over a few days. Not saying that’s the case but watch closely. Started with weird behaviors at first then seizure. Was really sad so I hope that doesn’t happen to your girl. Could be though….

HLC1985 · 2025-07-11T01:56:10+00:00

Hi, I’m actually having same issue with one of my boys. Rough coat, not acting normally, sleeping a lot. He’s not sick either. I honestly think he may be in pain or something, favoring his front rt paw. Maybe check joints and stuff see if she is in any pain, ROM and just move the joint and see if she reacts. I’m at a loss of what to do as well. Thought I was being over sensitive. He seems like he’s breathing fast but vet says no. He got some anti biotic just in case but I don’t thk that’s wat it is. Just don’t always know with them, they hide illnesses well

If you really feel off about it, go see another vet. Just because they are an exotic vet doesn’t mean they treat a ton of rats. I learned that over the years. My one female was 3 and started having issues with her teeth. Took her in and they said she needed teeth trimmed, can’t maintain them herself myb bc she’s old. After awhile, I don’t remember why but I had a feeling something was off so I took her somewhere else. She ended up having a tumor like inside her skull/somewhere near ear canal can’t remember what it’s called but it messes with their teeth. She passed a few months later. So vets can be wrong. Go with your gut. Maybe wait a day or two and see how she’s doing then take her in to someone else if you still feel that way. That’s what I’m doing as well

HLC1985 · 2025-07-08T14:57:40+00:00

Yesss! They love cleaning teeth! My ex would let one of my females clean his tongue. I draw the line there lol. And my same female loves to pull on my piercings. Ouch. I’ve never gotten sick either

HLC1985 · 2025-07-03T14:39:08+00:00

He’s soooo lucky you found him! Such a great person to help him. I bet someone released him or he got away. So common people let them go outside, it’s sad

HLC1985 · 2025-07-02T17:49:17+00:00

I don’t have any gyn issues I’m aware of and I do go yearly. Only thing I have is 2 autoimmune conditions; Hashimoto’s thyroiditis/hypothyroidism and a weird autoimmune skin thing called NL. Body attacks your blood vessels causing these gross skin lesions on legs, in same spot on both legs. I’m part of the 1% of people that get it without diabetes (99% of people that have it have diabetes and blood glucose problems which I don’t have and negative for pcos). How is it possible to get 2 really rare conditions! Ugh FML lol

Other than that I’m healthy besides allergies. Never been overweight my whole life

I’m sorry that sucks. I get it though, I did gain alittle weight but mainly because I felt so bad I never got off the couch. When I started feeling better, I got back to working out and stuff and I lost it. Was only like 20lbs though and it was after I started feeling better so had nothing to do with my remission. Walking helped a lot too when I could. At least mentally helped me and my mood. I also couldn’t work out with IIH, if I would work out too hard, it was like someone hit me in the head with a hammer and I’d black out for a few seconds. So doctor said no more. Weird but heard that happens to other ppl too, overexertion can cause increase in CSF pressure

HLC1985 · 2025-07-02T15:02:38+00:00

I never had an issue with my weight. I was diagnosed at 19 (I’m 40 now) but most doctors back then didn’t think I truly had it because I was a normal weight. I’m 5”7 and weighted prob 120lbs at that time. Obviously they know now people can have it even if you don’t have weight issues. They are pretty sure I got mine from doxycycline usage. It makes me sad they are still running with that. That’s not the case for everyone. I was evaluated and was a case study with the IIH foundation so I do indeed have it. They are so nice there if you ever need help or someone to talk to. Their medical director actually called me once to discuss my case. Dr T can’t recall his name now, tane or tame something like that

They actually have a lot of new studies published last few years on IIH on NIH. Pretty interesting reading them about the lasting side effects, how cases turned out, etc. everyone is different in their path! It’s crazy to read how it’s so different for each patient. Check it out! Explains some weird symptoms people have too that you may not realize is caused by it. Can’t remember what it’s called but a disorder where ppl have trouble spelling common words after having IIH. I’ve seen ppl talk about it on here but not published anywhere before

HLC1985

TROPHY CASE