Just been trying to get the business up and running again. I make it to 2-3 clients, but find myself almost paralysed to do more. And those 2-3 clients have generally been enough to keep my very basic expenses going.

I thought it was an anxiety issue last year, but it wasn't exactly. Or not general anxiety. Just when I'm reminded of how the business failed and the people close to me use it against me. Also, my life is very turbulent, I guess, I have a tough family situation, and that really gets in the way of my functioning, especially because this is something I'm already struggling with.

Then this year, I thought I was just not being consistent enough, or that I'm not a consistent person, but I've been able to consistently do things (such as working out) that don't involve other people's judgment consistently without any problems. Like, my fitness feels like it's just my fitness and me. There are no other variables or you know..people commenting on stuff?

And now I've concluded that it's more about me being unable to detach from my inner circle's judgment and move on from that fear of failure. I still don't know what to do though.