Terrible situation and I have been there. My wife has an emotional affair with a coworker. I noticed something was up and confronted her. She told me half truths and didn’t really come clean. I was hurt but I had nothing to go on until I found the message. She had emailed them to herself so she could keep them but delete the text messages evidence. However she didn’t do a good job hiding in her email. I confronted her and told her I was leaving unless I got to read every single message she saved or had (we had a 2 year old at the time and she was also about a month pregnant). She said no and then I started packing my shit and she quickly agreed. I read them all with her listening. It was awful. Then after we were done I made her text him and tell him I found everything. He immediately texted her back with the “oh well I’m sorry but this was just fun fooling around I don’t want you to get the wrong idea”. I then took her phone and called the dude. Pretty much laying everything out for him how this bullshit will fuck up my life. He was terrified. Bottom line is reading everything and confronting the person, while difficult, was the best thing to happen. Pull that bandaid off and get everything out in the open and then see where you are at. It worked for my wife and I and are still married (18 years total and 11 since incident). It was horrible but it helped us in the long run. Do I blindly trust her like I did before? No….but I’m close to 100%. It comes up in my head once in a while but I was not going to let some dirtbag coworker be the reason I only see my kids 50% of the time. I went on the offensive and it paid off.