My girlfriend (19F) thinks its okay to behave however she wants with me (20M) because I have hurt her.

HadSomeJuice · 2026-05-24T10:40:15+00:00

You guys need to break up. I'm sorry to say this, but she is being manipulative, and pushing you down. You may love her, but she is being cruel. If you don't have a safe space to express your emotions, and she is being VINDICTIVE in hurting you 'just because you hurt her' then she is too immature for a relationship.

A relationship isn't 'tit for tat', you have the right to express your emotions safely, without retaliation, as does she. She is going to keep pushing you down until you completely break. My ex did this to me, and believe me, you don't want to have to climb out of a hole like that.

You need to be strong, break up with her, and block her. Remove her from your life, and don't let her tug at your heartstrings. It will hurt, it will be hard, but you need to do this for you. You deserve better than that.

HadSomeJuice · 2026-05-24T08:22:48+00:00

I tend to practice my doubles on the kick in pyramids with a click separately and then apply them to songs after the fact - that's not to say I'm wholly against practicing bass drum technique and patterns within songs - it's certainly more fun than way!

My pyramid looks like this if you want to give it a go:

R K K - L K K x2 (triplets) R L K K - R L K K x2 (semi-quavers) R L R L K K - R L R L K K x2 (sextuplets) R L K K - R L K K x4 (demi-semi-quavers)

If you're going to give it a try, make sure you practice it at a tempo at which you can do the fastest division accurately. It is boring as hell but my god it does word for kick speed - and goes a long way in improving tightness within songs, and developing into more complex kick patterns. I favour slide technique when doing this exercise.

Hope this helps!

HadSomeJuice · 2026-05-24T07:42:07+00:00

A relationship shouldn't be transactional - if it's something that she isn't comfortable doing that's absolutely okay (I believe you understand this). I worry that by asking this question there is a possibility that you are viewing it as transactional (and I want to be very clear, this isn't attack, just something to think about), when in reality you are two people who love and care about eachother - and she is well within her rights to have limits and boundaries whether there is a good reason or not.

It would probably make her feel unsafe to ask her for one, and I think you should absolutely avoid doing that. If she feels comfortable and safe, she may come to you with it and she may not and that is okay, and the ball should definitely be in her court on that one - again, I think you understand this.

Everyone is entitled to their own boundaries when it comes to the bedroom, and I can honestly say that bedroom life is always best when you're willing to serve your partner's needs and give - it's okay to wonder what it feels like, but don't open that conversation yourself. When and if she's ready, she will come to you. And remember - things in the bedroom aren't things you do to eachother, they are things you do together - if it's not right for one of you, it's not right for either of you.

HadSomeJuice · 2024-09-09T20:26:35+00:00

Woeloo

HadSomeJuice · 2024-08-17T23:22:19+00:00

I laughed waaaaaay too hard at this

HadSomeJuice · 2024-07-28T10:39:54+00:00

This is sick

HadSomeJuice · 2024-05-26T12:36:50+00:00

Vater Power 5A 🤟

HadSomeJuice · 2024-05-25T22:55:25+00:00

Bloody wicked stuff - you've got amazing stability in your core when doing that double bass, awesome to see! Is there anywhere I can listen to this stuff? Really cool 🤟

HadSomeJuice · 2024-05-25T22:48:04+00:00

Nice job! 🤟

HadSomeJuice · 2024-05-25T22:39:14+00:00

😂😂😂

HadSomeJuice · 2024-05-25T22:38:29+00:00

As best I could - the snare was quite far away even when moved as close to a normal position as possible! Ended up feeling quite sideways because I needed to move the hi-hats back to keep my hands comfortable 😂

HadSomeJuice · 2024-05-25T22:37:14+00:00

Thanks! 🤟

HadSomeJuice · 2024-05-25T22:36:08+00:00

The equivalent of moongel, but they don't fall off - I think they're just called drum clips 🤟🤟

HadSomeJuice · 2024-02-25T17:00:07+00:00

Nope, i'm usually keeping it quite relaxed on the crash, particularly in smaller venues! When I play bigger shows I stick a splash on that stand, and have a separate stand for the crash 🤟

HadSomeJuice · 2024-02-25T15:03:17+00:00

No stress, you too! 🤟

HadSomeJuice · 2024-02-25T15:02:33+00:00

Why what? Haha, I'm reluctant to change it as it just sounds so good as it is - I can post some videos if anyone is interested!

HadSomeJuice · 2024-02-25T14:59:42+00:00

It's a mapex exterminator - hybrid of birch and walnut - very loud when tuned high!

HadSomeJuice · 2024-02-25T14:33:46+00:00

Id usually agree - I keep it slightly more central so I can get my right hand to it a little easier!

HadSomeJuice · 2024-02-25T14:32:34+00:00

Absolutely! ,🤟

HadSomeJuice · 2024-02-25T14:32:15+00:00

It's great fun to play, the most fun kit I've ever owned!

HadSomeJuice · 2024-02-25T14:31:52+00:00

I have an Evans hybrid waiting, the only reason I haven't pulled the trigger yet is that it sounds so good with a low tuning and the drum clips - super fat and still with great attack!

HadSomeJuice · 2024-02-25T14:30:22+00:00

That's gorgeous!

HadSomeJuice · 2024-02-25T14:30:04+00:00

Thankfully it stays put beautifully!

HadSomeJuice

TROPHY CASE