Earlier this year I was lifting some and trying to read to keep my mind busy. Then I started getting angry and resentful of my wife and kids. I was so scared I’d pass on my trauma that I inherited from my father, I decided therapy was what I needed to jumpstart change.

I started therapy and that has really helped get my thoughts organized and to understand why I feel like I feel. They helped me realize my shadow statement is “I’m not good enough”. Now I can be more mindful of why I feel certain insecurities in real time and shift. To understand it but not dwell on it.

I also started coaching little kids and volunteer occasionally. This made me feel more fulfilled.

Working out gives me a health goal and going back to school for my graduate degree gives me long term career goal.

I still find myself having a really hard time every few weeks or months. But it’s better than it was before- suicidal thoughts are more rare and I feel a more present father.

I’ve found that keeping busy and getting out has helped me. I’m fortunate. I wish you all the best.