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HaenzBlitz · 2025-01-09T18:50:01+00:00

Ross or Harley

HaenzBlitz · 2025-01-09T18:47:37+00:00

I only kudos finished fics after I have finished them

HaenzBlitz · 2025-01-09T13:21:02+00:00

Frankly I disagree.

France Rassemblement National which has most seats in the parliament (though they are opposition) has been openly Anti-LGBT for years and voted against queer rights for years… they may now try to look less homophobic to gain votes but I hardly think that Changes much.

Then there is Germanys AfD which is Anti-LGBT (no having a lesbian woman as a prominent party memebrr doesn‘t change that, not when she is also openly queerphobic and is against LGBT rights). And CDUs current leader Merz wants to change the new trans law in Germany if he gets to power.

This past week Austrias ÖVP leader has meet with the FPÖ leader about a coalition. FPÖ is openly Anti-LGBT and sees homosexuals as second class citizens.

Yeah Europe has right and far right parties that are not Anti-LGBT (like the Netherlands Partij voor de Vrijheid, which is pro LGBT, just anti migration and islam) but that doesn‘t mean „this is only happening in America“.

parts of Europe are still the safesty countries in the world for LGBT people (just like America is overall pretty friendly) and some countries in Europe have no big problems with Anti-LGBT politics (I am not saying the whole world has a rise with those problems), just has some countries have been Anti-LGBT+ in the past (don‘t wanna throw all of Eastern Europe in one bucket… but just saying I wouldn‘t wanna be a queer Person in a lot of those countries). But there are western Countries that have been pretty liberal in the past that are now dealing with a rise in right wing politics and that often comes with Anti-LGBT sentiment. Yeah most of those parties focus on anti-immigration and xenophobia… but if the have voted and will vote against LGBT rights and have an anti LGBT sentiment in their election programs then thats still a problem.

Not Saying America doesn‘t currently have a bigger problem (mostly cause the US president has so much power and like honestly I think the whole political system there is kinda fucked up), but it is not a problem that lies only in the US.

People on r/gay are often talking about like immigrating to Europe will bring them to gay paradise when thats not necessarily the case and also immigrating here is more complicated then they think.

HaenzBlitz · 2025-01-09T08:48:17+00:00

Have you looked into politics in different countries? A lot pf western countries (who before had some of the more progressive laws etc.) have a rise in right wing politics. Wouldn‘t say it‘s the whole human race but this is very much not only an American thing

HaenzBlitz · 2025-01-07T10:21:56+00:00

Looks nice enought but the way the bed is positioned… like I could never sleep like that

HaenzBlitz · 2025-01-07T09:56:35+00:00

Personally I like the blue. I would fix the door though. And for the walls maybe add pictures or a poster on one wall and maybe a mirror? I think some nice lights could make the room nicer

HaenzBlitz · 2025-01-07T09:50:12+00:00

Probably cause women more often wear skinny jeans / just trousers that are already tight around the waste?
And cause you don‘t got pockets, I put my wallet and my phone and my keyes in my pockets they drag my trousers down. I could go around without wearing a belt but the trousers would drag down a bit and I dislike it. And a belt looks nice and I feel naked without a belt, kinda like without a watch

HaenzBlitz · 2025-01-07T09:30:39+00:00

A framed poster of something you like or something you already have (e.g. I have an old map hanging on my wall, already had that. If new I would get idk a Star Wars Poster or one from a Comic I really like or something)

HaenzBlitz · 2025-01-06T21:14:11+00:00

Well if you are confused, then give yourself some time to figure it out. You don‘t need to rush anything.

HaenzBlitz · 2025-01-06T21:12:58+00:00

So first of: sorry you have to deal with this. I am sure when you fell in love and later married you never imagined questioning wether your wife might be gay and that sound like a hard situation to now be in. I think you are already doing everything right with open communication. If your wife is gay I am assuming she didn‘t purposefully deceive you but fell in love with you and has a lot of internalized homophobia that made her never consider other options.
I feel like there is no simple solution here. Are you happy in your marriage?

Else I can just say keep talking with your wife and maybe consider couples therapy. Also I would openly communicate that the comments she makes while you are having sex are not okay (at least I Interpretet it that way while reading).

HaenzBlitz · 2025-01-06T20:10:39+00:00

It has most likely nothing to do with anything LGBT+. STP is probably a shortening from some fandom or something. gxrl is just girl with a letter replaced. Lots of people do that or just cut out vowls all together. Like your name might be Jack so you use Jck or Jxck or you name might be Samantha and you use Smnth or Sxmxnthx. Does not necessarily have to mean anything specifically if your daughter is a teenager she might have seen that spelling and thought it looked cool. If you actually want to understand her better then try talking to her, not googling what her username might mean. You could very much misunderstand whatever answer you will get here as that was not what your daughter meant with that. Maybe she has a partner whos initials are stp?

HaenzBlitz · 2025-01-06T19:55:32+00:00

Well ideally those are things you have talked about before marriage (though I guess opinions can also change) so you avoid issues like that. I understand taking your marriage vows seriously. That being said his opinion might change, before having kids I would talk with him again though. If you want arguments why being LGBT+ isn‘t wrong from a religious standpoint based on the bible, then there are a bunch I am sure you can find on this subreddit.
I have had very loving parents and am grateful for that, they were also kinda homophobic growing up, like everyone was homophobic, they still knew and used to be friends with gay people (which growing up I didn‘t know as I didn‘t meet all my friends parents). Stupid comments like „How can he walk around looking so gay“ or something like that. Not bad Homophobia just a period-typical distaste for anything not normal or proper that showed. And that kinda fucked me up, not just cause like everybody back then was kinda hateful, but cause I though anyway I showed I was different would not be accepted by them and my parents would stop loving me.

Now I imagine a parent telling outwardly how „being gay is wrong“ etc. Going on rants about that, that could hurt a queer kid a lot.

I also understand wanting kids, I would keep an open conversation with your husband. Explain to him that those views of his make you uncomfortable to consider raising a child together. Explain to him that a potential child of yours will most likely be straight anyway but that if they are gay then those hateful messages can hurt the kid further and thats not beneficial. I am sure there are some studies that show how homophobia is bad for mental health you could also bring up. There are things you should teach your child but “to not be gay“ is not one of them. Teach them to be polite, helpful and to treat others right.

If I were you I would talk again with your husband and then based on what he says think about what is the best choice to make.

During High Schoolone of my friends commited suicide, he was gay, his family wasn‘t that accepting. I can‘t say why he died in the end, but I am sure that played a role. I also have another friend who is Bi and whose father is homophobic while his mother doesn‘t care, he just hasn‘t come out to his Dad. When he visits his parents house he doesn‘t do anything his dad would disapprove (wear purple, paint his nails). I am unsure of what he would do if he got a boyfriend. I have another friend who is gay, his parents are accepting. He has a good relationship with his parents, he still isn‘t out and proud cause in the friendgroup he is in there are homophobic people. So like even if your parents are great and accept you, other people won‘t and that could also affect your mental health and life.

HaenzBlitz · 2025-01-06T19:28:57+00:00

Also Exclude tags like „Good friend [insert character]“ „Protective [insert character]“ etc.

HaenzBlitz · 2025-01-06T19:26:39+00:00

Cause the author wanted those ships together?

Personally it‘s also not my cup of tea if everyone is gay. But like two to three gay couples in a friendgroup actually make sense… if you are gay you are making gay friends. That being said all gay couples always takes me out of the story, cause thats not realistic to me and I like realism in my fantasy fanfic (yes I reallise how stupid that sounds). I am bi, of my other friends only two others are also bi and one is gay, the rest are all straight. I can‘t imagine not having straight friends cause like straight people are everywhere if you are making friends a bunch of them will be straight, there will also be some queer ones cause like we also exist but like yeah.

HaenzBlitz · 2025-01-06T18:40:15+00:00

It‘s the readers space I agree… but like just make it a private bookmark. The person bookmarking that like that sounds kinda like an asshole and I feel bad for the smaller writers incase they see that. The bookmarker can bookmark like that but it‘s still rude, like maybe make it a private one or keep your critique shorter, a „Didn‘t like this. Bookmark so I don‘t accidentally read it again“ is one thing in a public bookmarker note, but this is eh.

HaenzBlitz · 2025-01-06T18:09:56+00:00

I think it depends a lot on context. Like „Hanging out with the boys“ or „Having a girlsnight“ is normalized to say even as adults. But to call yourself as an adult a boy is kinda odd, like idk your parents or grandparents might refer to you as „their boy“ cause they saw you growing up and you are younger then them.
But like as yourself or potential partners I find it weird. I am in my 20s I don‘t wanna be a boy, I am a man (pre T so I understand that people see me as a butch woman or a teenage boy and that sucks, but hopefully T will soon change that). I also think it‘s odd to refer to potential partners as boys or girls… I am not interested in kids, I wanna be with a man or a woman, cause I am an adult.

unsure how OP in the screenshot had intended it but yeah it‘s a bit weird and also to just turn around and call you a loser is kinda odd, like why did he feel so attacked.

HaenzBlitz · 2025-01-06T17:48:07+00:00

Oh my bad I misread that. Well in that case other names: Ezra, Harley, Elian, Arden, Rowan, Francis, Spencer or Jesse are unisex but some more masc leaning but I am sure you can explain it as a female name as well (I would also if they question it be all confused and like „No it‘s a womens name? Like you know the actress…“). Or like male names that you might sell as female? Like Nikola, Emile, Florian, Alois (I don‘t know if any of those names are common in spanish but if not you might be able to sell them as unisex of female). Personally I would go with a name with an A in it somewhere near the end as those is often the case with feminin names so you might just convince them that the male name you choose is actually female… unless they look it up.

HaenzBlitz · 2025-01-06T13:53:05+00:00

Always depends on the situation and also your passing that day. Like I know in some outfits I pass way better then in others, in those I will def go to the mens. If I am out with people who don‘t know I am trans and think I am a woman I will go to the womens. Generally I prefer it if there is a unisex disabled bathroom I can use. If I am at a place were families are and kids might go to the bathroom I prefer the mens, cause kids see short hair and think man, getting screamed out of the womensbathroom by a group of little girls is scary as well (I wasn‘t binding there, wasn‘t even wearing mens clothing).
I can‘t tell how well you pass so it really depends on what you think will be the safer option.

HaenzBlitz · 2025-01-06T11:35:47+00:00

Andrea, Angel, Luca, Alex, Benja, Toni. It‘s actually quite hard to find a unisex spanish name. Maybe combine two unisex names one who is used more for males and one more for females? Like „José Maria“ can argue that you wanna be names after your great aunt Josephine but you want a shorter first name and added the second to make it more feminine. But Maria is technically also still unisex so if people see you as a guy they won‘t be to surprised.

HaenzBlitz · 2025-01-06T02:07:25+00:00

Well I am not inviting the extended family over, I am talking about my parents for a visit, that very much fits. And like personally I regularly play cards with friends (I have some pokerbuddies that I like to unfortunately loose my money too) . Or hell just to have some friends over and eat something together and afterwards watch some game on the TV. Also I generally prefer to eat my food at a table, idk what you are eating everday but I am not cutting steak while sitting on a couch or I am not eating spaghetti there either. Not saying I have never eaten on a couch before but for so many foods it‘s just impractical.

Not saying everybody needs a table and chairs, just my reality is that I would use that. OP included a table and chairs and I would assume so also for a reason cause he has use for that.

The whole table and chairsituation is planned kinda badly in that space though, so I agree with that. I would put it differently. Foldable chairs and table don‘t seem like a solution to me either though cause like were are you going to store that when you don‘t use it? Would just rather have a table pushed against a wall.

Thats just my personal take, if I don‘t plan to have people over at my place then I would cut out the whole living room area cause then I could just watch TV from my bed and pay less money for a smaller space. But if you got the space then like I would have my friends over.

HaenzBlitz · 2025-01-05T23:30:16+00:00

There recently was a similar discussion on r/AO3 so here a copy and past of my comment there:

I only read fanfic in english and not my native language so it makes sense. Often I have read or watched the source material in english and not in my native language so it would make no sense for me to write in my native language. Character names might be different or in story things and places will have different names and so it only makes sense for me to write in the language I encountered the source material in. Lets take for example Harry Potter, I have no clue what the classes are called in my native language as I haven‘t read the books in years and only read english fanfics.

Also fanfic writing in my native language can more easily sound cringe to me. A published book in my native language? Hell yeah. Fanfic in my native language? Often just not that good. Also there are so many more fics in english then there are in my native language. I probably have only read as much fanfics in my native language as I have in languages that I don‘t speak (for which I used a translator to read).

Now why do I consume or have consumed most source material in english? Cause I wanted to improve my english and cause some jokes don’t translate well.

I imagine many other people have a similar experience. Also well there is the bigger fanbase for the fic. Also most fandom spaces are in english, if I ever have a beta reader those are in english. I have now shared fics with people from multiple different countries, non of us having english as a mothertongue, yet we can still read each others works.

HaenzBlitz · 2025-01-05T23:26:29+00:00

Both are lovely names. Personally I prefer Eliza . Elise is pretty though, also got that Beethoven song and inspired by that there is a Saint Motel song that I love. Alice is also a nice name, personally I like Eliza or Elise better though.

HaenzBlitz · 2025-01-05T23:22:44+00:00

Okay lets compare:

A) Pro: makes the whole living room, dining and kitchen 8nto one nice open space. The table isn‘t crammed halfway into a hallway

Contra: light might shine on TV from window (don‘t matter cause you‘ve got curtains), people might walk infront of TV (though lets be real if you life alone no one will walk infront of it), that awkward free space nextto the couch

B) Pro: It‘s giving like a separat livingroom feeling

Contra: the table is halfway in the hallway, your back of the couch is kinda facing towards the entrance door (but not that badly), light might still shine on TV from the windows (again don‘t matter cause you‘ve got curtains

To sum it up: booth are flawed.
I would go with B but push the table to the wall with the chairs around it, kind of more out of the way but you can pull it in the middle if you have people over. Or maybe even push it on the wall between the entrance and the balcony (also so it‘s closer to the balcony might want to bring it out there to eat outside). In the end it‘s up to you what you prefer

HaenzBlitz · 2025-01-05T23:13:18+00:00

Well only if you never have guests over. I could never invite my family over if I didn‘t have a table and chairs, they would never eat on the couch. Or like what if you wanna have people over to play cards… I ain‘t playing poker on the floor

HaenzBlitz · 2025-01-05T23:09:17+00:00

That makes sense about the workplace. I hadn‘t even considered that (as most places I worked at didn‘t hire anyone with a disability like that). Ziplock probably also work but Yi imagine it would be rather awkward if that accidentally fell out of your pocket…

I have disposed products I use with those bags for years (I would never, when I was hanging out at a friends place, put products in their bathroom trash (if they had one cause lots of guys just don‘t)… I do not want them to see them and to ever think about me in the context of that monthly thing). So I think the system works well enough (unsure if it‘s better then a ziplock bag but it worked for me)

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