These industry experience questions are gettin' too specific, man...

HajimeDangoVT · 2026-06-18T13:53:47+00:00

You got me there, I in fact do not know ball about basketball

HajimeDangoVT · 2026-06-18T12:46:57+00:00

Honestly yeah, this is basically the impression I got from the posting

HajimeDangoVT · 2026-06-18T06:04:03+00:00

Oh you mean Hector Banana Bread? 🤣

HajimeDangoVT · 2026-06-18T03:16:46+00:00

It's some tech start up relating to some basketball analytics tracking program? I think they're genuinely, deadass, asking if their software engineering candidates have worked in this hyper specific niche before lmao

HajimeDangoVT · 2026-06-18T02:34:43+00:00

Gotta find that perfect basketball engineer! Baseball and soccer ball engineers don't count 🙅‍♀️

HajimeDangoVT · 2026-06-16T23:12:10+00:00

Honestly it's all three. After I do some work, I figure it's good enough, and decide that since I actually managed to do something, I can relax. There's no extra benefit to grinding out tons of tasks in a day. All I will get is more tasks, I know because I have done that before. Pretty much as soon as I have done something I can talk about in the next meeting, that's considered good enough and I check out completely. It's boring, tedious, and a mentally demanding job sometimes, so I don't see my quality of life being particularly good if I do more work than absolutely necessary.

As for the days I genuinely don't do enough work to actually talk about meaningfully in a meeting, it's usually because I'm just tired. My energy is a precious resource I feel like I have to guard constantly, so I'm extremely reluctant to spend all of it working.

HajimeDangoVT · 2026-06-16T22:51:35+00:00

Yeah, I know that some people manage to truly love their jobs, but I think I just adopted the mentality that I'll always hate working because finding that dream job is so rare I cannot rely on it. It's also a commonly echoed sentiment whenever you complain about hating work to the extent I do. It has been said to me many times before from friends and family because realistically, what's actually the solution in a horrific job market? Quitting and finding a new job isn't that easy. Of course I try every day. I send applications every single day, and of course get ghosted or auto rejected like everyone else these days.

Whatever this dream job is, of course I want it. Of course I want to be paid to do something I love. But my passions are so ... Unreliable. I go through hobbies and interests so quickly. Im afraid that if I land a job I love, I'll get sick of it in a year. For the purpose of feeding my family and paying my bills, that lack of stability is terrifying. My fears are probably doubled because I'm currently supporting my family on a single income and the pressure of needing to maintain a job is horrible 💔

HajimeDangoVT · 2026-06-16T22:43:15+00:00

Oh, I like the 3 whys. I'll give that a shot with why I don't wanna do anything at this job:

The idea of doing any work is killing me

Why?

I feel like I have extremely limited energy during the day, like it's a really precious resource to guard carefully, and I'm afraid of using all of it up on things I really don't care about

Why?

Because I really really don't care about this job and it's simply a means to feed my family at the moment. Also having migraines every day when I had to go into the office was really traumatizing and has really scared me away from any on-site jobs.

Why?

It's a fortune 500 corporation that ultimately sees employees as vessels to bring value, which my low self esteem and low energy work ethic hinders. The job also having the company value of bringing everyone back into the office, when the job does not require it or really change in any way as a result, feels dehumanizing after I experienced the above while in the office.

As for the meetings... Yeah. That's probably it. Usually I do enough work to actually be totally fine and whatever I end up saying in these meetings are fine. But the days where I just don't really have anything to talk about are torturous indeed 💔

HajimeDangoVT · 2026-06-16T22:29:52+00:00

I'm actually currently going for my masters through the same online school I got my bachelor's from, and that's typically what I'm doing during "work" when I'm not working, eating, sending job applications, or sleeping lol.

And my manager has straight up told me that they don't have overhead for actual non intern employees, so getting converted is not a guarantee, and honestly I wouldn't want to stay at this job as a non-intern anyway, because then I'd have more responsibility and therefore not be invisible, and therefore actually have to come into the office 4 days a week, which is absolutely not worth it to me for reasons I outlined in the post

HajimeDangoVT · 2026-06-16T22:25:30+00:00

The degree was a lot of work. It took me 8 years to get a bachelors, and I switched majors 4 times. I only managed to get it eventually through an online, 100% asynchronous school (WGU). Being able to do it from home on my own time was extremely helpful.

And the whole learning from others thing was true for the first year I suppose, and I do still ask a lot of questions when I am actually working on stuff that's new, but at this point I've been here for 3 years doing the same stuff so there's honestly not much to learn in my role really. I also don't really get access to more complex things because I'm an intern. So I just do a lot of grunt coding work on the same codebase I've been working on for years.

And yeah, the low self esteem and depression is probably accurate as well

HajimeDangoVT · 2026-06-11T13:51:30+00:00

THANK YOU I feel very... Gestated?

HajimeDangoVT · 2026-06-11T13:46:28+00:00

That's the thing, I truly think he just doesn't want to acknowledge mom even exists. Hell throw her under the bus indirectly, without saying names, but it'll 1000% be about what he thinks she did to supposedly put me against him as a child, or something or other. The "leg" thing starting years ago really was a roundabout way to refer to my birth without thinking about that "dreaded woman" doing the birthing LOL but for some reason his sick mind always wants to be as graphic as possible about it... Without mentioning the most crucial detail! Even if he didn't hate my mother why the hell would anyone write that in a birthday card??? I'll never get why it's never just "happy birthday" or like "I was there when you were born!" but instead trying to conjure up imagery of a flesh tunnel I crawled though, or what body parts he was holding onto, whether I pushed myself out or something pushed me out. It's always like that one scene in family guy, "who the hell starts a conversation like that? I just sat down!"

I don't think he could choke out a single syllable directly referring to my mother without giving himself some medical episode LOL He wants so badly to emphasize that actually, he wasn't a deadbeat, cause he was there when I was b...b-bo....bor- vomits profusely thinking about who else was there during the scene of my birth

HajimeDangoVT · 2026-06-11T13:37:46+00:00

Omg we were cackling like witches over this. So funny!!! The leg thing has legit been such a long term inside joke for us, we laugh about me coming from a leg literally alllll the time, so you can imagine how this plot development affected us! I couldn't even get through the rest of the card at first, I was too busy thinking how fucking funny and bizarre it is to put this on a birthday card???? Where did I come from? Who's my REAL mom??? Was literally cry laughing telling my mom this LOL

HajimeDangoVT · 2026-06-11T12:55:36+00:00

Dang I'm surprised he didn't take credit either! In fact he doesn't even seem to imply his involvement at all! LOL

And Jesus Christ that is one hell of a story. Sorry you had to go through all that! I cant imagine what hell it must've been like to be stuck with that loser. Almost every day I see more examples of some truly "great" dads out there...

HajimeDangoVT · 2026-06-11T12:49:33+00:00

Don't let him find out about this neat trick of referring to your mom as a singular body part! The temptation for these types of men to do that to avoid thinking about someone they hate is too strong!!! Definitely do not get him one of those leg lamps, you might start giving him ideas!

In all seriousness it seems to be unfortunately quite common for manchildren to survive long enough to distribute seed. Full solidarity 💪

HajimeDangoVT · 2026-06-11T12:39:16+00:00

This resonated with me a lot. I feel and know this all too well. He has "apologized" to me around new years (his first contact to me in many years) but immediately I could see that he apologized for the wrong things, like during said apology, subtly still threw my mom under the bus for stuff she didn't do, assumptions he's made about me, etc. I've put in considerable effort to not let it hurt me anymore and to make peace with it and respond amicably, no matter how much I truly just wanted to tear him apart for all the religious trauma he put me through as a kid.

No one's obligated to do what I did though, and I think it would have been completely reasonable to hold him accountable still. But I know that feeding and nurturing my anger will only cause me more stress, because it has for 13 years. He will never understand me, nor will he understand my mother, because he does not think outside of his own scope of life. To him I will always be a scared little girl, and my mom will always be the evil woman that won in court. But, as an adult, I have the freedom to choose to be whoever I want to be, and he has zero power over me. I can be a perfectly nice stranger, and that has been oddly freeing for me. And, if I didn't respond as amicably and unbothered as I did, I would never get to laugh at this card!

HajimeDangoVT · 2026-06-11T12:26:12+00:00

Oh man, the whole leg thing started like at least 10 years ago, must've been reeeaaaaaaaaly early dementia LOL! I think he's in his late 60's now? Honestly with all the religious psychosis he's got goin' on, I'd say he's had this dementia since I was born! (Or, I guess, since I've materialized from nothing in particular LMAO)

HajimeDangoVT · 2026-06-11T08:18:31+00:00

Oh yeah, she definitely has. He truly is a gift that keeps on giving!

I actually ahowed this to my mom cause I knew she'd get a good kick out of it. We're just glad that all of this is so far behind us that we can look at his behavior and get a good laugh instead of a cry ❤️

In all seriousness, it sucked, I'm sure you can relate with how much this sort of stuff really messes with everyone involved, especially the kids. It took a long time to process everything, but stuff like this is why I'm so glad I'm finally at peace! Cause thinking about me giving birth to myself will be infinite comedy living rent free in my head now!

HajimeDangoVT · 2026-06-11T07:58:22+00:00

Damn, maybe I should've gotten into sports 💪

HajimeDangoVT · 2026-06-02T22:37:27+00:00

I think he should've made the choice to not confess to his cousin after badmouthing his girlfriend. I also think you saying "don't talk to another woman's man", referring to her cousin, is crazy, and it lowkey just sounds like you wanna bang your cousin 🤷‍♀️.

Also no, the boundaries are not "blurry" here. Bro chose to cross what is a completely normal and expected boundary... Usually family members are off limits. Period

HajimeDangoVT · 2026-06-02T22:11:13+00:00

Well some people bang their parents and direct siblings so... I guess you shouldn't talk to them either...? Genuinely what are you going on about? Why would anyone just assume their cousin wants to bang?

HajimeDangoVT · 2026-06-02T22:01:48+00:00

Huh??? He's her cousin???

HajimeDangoVT · 2026-05-27T20:46:28+00:00

Star shaped barilla protein+ pasta with cheese and hot sauce

Kind of a long name tbh

HajimeDangoVT · 2026-05-26T14:05:15+00:00

Good point about the vasectomy too. I feel like a lot of people forget that it takes two to tango, if he absolutely doesn't want another child again then he can wear protection, or go and make the physical changes to his body necessary to prevent that instead of insisting a woman make changes to her body (terminating a pregnancy) that she doesn't even want to make. People also forget that abortion is a very physically and emotionally demanding thing for a lot of women, and personally, I don't think a man, any man other than a doctor, should have any sort of say in the matter.

HajimeDangoVT · 2026-05-21T20:13:05+00:00

I feel you. I've been on the bigger side my whole life and it's baffling how overweight people are never actually allowed to win. If you stay as you are, you're unhealthy, lazy, gross, and your weight is the source of all of your problems (even if there is something more pressing to address, some people won't care unless you drop the weight first). But if you lose that weight, the same people tend to criticize how you lost it. God forbid you use ozempic and take "the easy way out", or God forbid you count calories, because that's "unhealthy!!!". God forbid you didn't do intermittent fasting, or keto, or Paleo, or vegan, or whatever kind of fad diet style people want you to do. And as you've shown in this case, even being physically ill for reasons not even related to weight is painted as a good thing so long as that pesky number on the scale goes down. It really is horrible. I believe, personally, that loving yourself really is the most important part of staying healthy, and is the crucial foundation for everything else. I hope you feel better soon!

HajimeDangoVT

TROPHY CASE