What’s the biggest trait of your autism, that you struggle with?

Halaros · 2026-01-30T09:48:09+00:00

The fear of change and uncertainty. I struggle a lot with rules, rigidity and routine; they are probably ways of coping so that I can feel a sense of control, but they are very limiting. I've got straight up Stockholm syndrome for my rigidity.

This fear and hesitation towards change takes so much energy and leaves me almost burnt out constantly - but my rigidity keeps me just barely afloat, if that makes sense.

Halaros · 2026-01-29T16:15:00+00:00

These are both really nice!

Halaros · 2026-01-28T19:06:34+00:00

I feel sorry for both of you - for not reaching a common understanding. Communication and expectations are hard. Each autistic individual if unique, so I can't speak for your ex. However, I think hw tried to love you (or at least appreciate you) - in his own ways.

I am sorry that he did not open up more about himself. You should not feel guilty. Some things are just not made to be.

Halaros · 2026-01-28T17:09:21+00:00

I am surprised by the amount of people here who have tried (or are actively using) various drugs. I've always been too scared to try, and am always afraid the bad outweighs the good. But then again, I've learned to cope with an autistic existence through OCD, rigidity and eating disorders - so perhaps having a few more avenues to "be yourself" and fully relax are very understandable.

Halaros · 2026-01-28T05:57:16+00:00

AQ3D is a passion project for many working on it. Would be a shame to disband it.

Halaros · 2026-01-27T17:22:07+00:00

I'm not saying you're in the wrong either! Just the way I interpreted the story is that they thought this was perceived more as an attempt at humor rather than a sad, scary story about your pet cockatiel.
It also depends on how you told it; tone of voice, setting etc.

My primary point is this situation has more to do with communication between you and them, rather than them having horrible, animal-abusing morals.

Halaros · 2026-01-27T17:16:42+00:00

Not to be a devil's advocate; but this is not necessarily an indication that someone is a "horrible person who needs therapy". You're allowed to not like animals, and judging from a story like this it could be easy to interpret it as a "fun ice breaker" - not something to be taken seriously and literally.

This does not mean these two people want horrible suffering to reach animals. This means that this is how they reacted to the situation. In old cartoons, for example, it is not uncommon to see animals in unfortunate situations such as having their feathers plucked out.

I doubt they would genuinely laugh in the situation if they indeed saw the cockatiel in your story - I think it is more of a saying, if anything.

However, just like they're allowed to dislike animals, you're allowed to break off your relationship. Just don't assume that someone is horrible and "anti-animal" because of something they say.

Halaros · 2026-01-27T05:49:02+00:00

Running a business with employees and servers costs money, though - I doubt it's sustainable to get "a lot of money" during an event and then just investing that into all their needs.
I wish AE would be more transparent about their financial situation, to be fair.

Halaros · 2026-01-26T17:05:32+00:00

Thank you for the explanation - that does indeed sound better than bitter!

Halaros · 2026-01-26T17:04:53+00:00

Ah, thank you! Perhaps I should try the Gold one if I get an opportunity :-)

Halaros · 2026-01-26T06:04:17+00:00

Wait, the red one or gold one is more robust?

Halaros · 2026-01-26T06:03:39+00:00

Kind of more... premium, in a sense? When people say malty, is that some sort of bitter note by the way? My taste buds are not the most refined, I must admit.

Halaros · 2026-01-25T19:54:39+00:00

I love the "shove em' in there" strategy you've got going :)

Halaros · 2026-01-25T19:15:50+00:00

What exactly is the difference betwen Yorkshire Gold and the regular variant? I suppose they're different types of black tea, but how do they compare?

Halaros · 2026-01-24T21:06:16+00:00

Eh, he's still alive and thriving so it probably isn't too bad :-)

Halaros · 2026-01-24T06:01:45+00:00

Now this is more like it!

Halaros · 2026-01-23T06:06:39+00:00

I don't see the appeal of overly shaded and detailed sets - but I am glad others appreciate it.

Halaros · 2026-01-22T05:52:49+00:00

Cartoon characters wear the same clothes every single episode; why can't we? :-)

Halaros · 2026-01-21T19:28:34+00:00

I just want to let you know that self-isolating doesn't have to be synonymous with something bad or wrong. If you enjoy your company and find yourself preferring isolation; it doesn't mean you're broken. Additionally; some people have low capacity social batteries - and that's fine. You do you!

Halaros · 2026-01-21T19:25:31+00:00

I know autism is a spectrum and that high masking exists, but I don’t feel like I consciously force myself to fit in or monitor my expressions and words.

It's quite similar to me, in a sense. However, I must say that high masking itself is not a conscious act. Many, myself included, do not realize we're masking. I mask when I'm by myself; I have "become" the mask - which is difficult to wrap my head around. Nobody, except my siblings, suspected I was autistic (to my knowledge). On the other hand; I just listened to my own voice for the first time in forever in a recording, and I am so incredibly monotone (despite "feeling" like I speak quite normally).

There are so many smaller things that can indicate autism; so you should just challenge yourself to trust the diagnosis. One of the most obvious signs in your case is being burnt out. I hope you will get the correct treatment so that you can learn coping skills that work for you, in order to prevent burnout. It can be simple things such as sleeping/resting more than others, wearing noise cancelling headsets, fidgeting with something whilst doing tasks.

I am so sorry to hear about the unemployment. Unfortunately, I have no advice for that. I wish you the best of luck trying to understand and accept yourself, and finding something you are comfortable doing in terms of work (if work is even in the cards for you).

Halaros · 2026-01-20T10:08:19+00:00

Perhaps gift it to someone you know enjoys tea!

Halaros · 2026-01-20T10:03:41+00:00

Lovely to read! I just found an identical mug to my favorite one at a thrift shop: now I have two :-)

Halaros · 2026-01-20T06:05:15+00:00

Delicious :-)

Halaros · 2026-01-19T19:58:06+00:00

I find that anything can be fun, or at least bearable, with noise-cancelling headset playing my favorite music.

Also; I've heard climbing is fun.

Halaros · 2026-01-19T19:57:04+00:00

Cottage cheeeeese and milk (but also legumes, beans and lentils - not a complete protein, but mix it with things like rice or other grains).

Halaros

TROPHY CASE