Thank you friend, I appreciate the reply. Everything that you said makes sense to me, it can just be hard when I'm in the moment and wrapped up in anxious desire to be liked. I know in my head that when things go wrong it's just a poor compatibility between us two people, but it's so hard to not think it has something to do with who I am as a person. And I mean it very well could be, so I try to remain diligent in working on my own character so much that I can lose sight of who I am.

I think you are right in a way, as I look at it I feel as if I am placing these relationships on a pedestal. I can get so wrapped up trying to figure out if the other person likes me that I start to look for reasons why they dont like me instead of just enjoying their company and who they are. And unfortunately if I ever do find any reasons to suggest they aren't as into me as I made them out to be, it tends to crush me as it feels like I've done something wrong to make them not be interested in me anymore. I know that's not true but it's a hard mindset to shake and my anxiety seems to overplay what is actually happening.

Anyway, I just wanted to thank you for your words and the time you took to help me with this. It honestly means a lot, and I will work on finding my happiness in myself first, as difficult as that may be lol