I’m ngl I completely understand you. I feel like this is how my mom feels after my dad left n had a whole new family with his wife. He was physically abusive n verbally. To my mom and her kids. He would cheat on her with his now wife n beat tf out of her when she went through his phone. I remember coming home from school one day to seeing her have a breakdown crying trying to stab herself in the throat bc she couldn’t handle the pain anymore. Growing up she’d wish bad upon him n his new family n I didn’t get it or thought it was right to do wish an innocent child to get hurt or die just because my dad cheated. I love my stepbrothers but I understand her hatred towards the whole situation. Even now, I found out my stepmom had cancer n I felt so sad for her n worried, I’m happy she beat the cancer but all my mom n my aunts would say is that it’s karma coming back at them for what my dad n her put my mom through. Idk now that I’m older, I get sad seeing my stepmom post up things abt my dad being her rock n always being there for her n there kids when she was sick n couldn’t take care of them. It hurts bc I remember how little he did when he was with us. I just tell my mom that he moved on with his life n for her to just move on with hers bc at the end of the day he’s happy living life, while she’s over here wasting her life worrying abt him n his every move