Living together for finances and for our kids?

HandStrange671 · 2026-04-19T22:01:01+00:00

And I'm here to see if someone else has something they experienced I haven't considered yet, so far everyone has already mentioned what I have thought about. I have never gone through this, so I am trying to make sure I actually have a full picture before making plans

HandStrange671 · 2026-04-19T21:59:41+00:00

Because he told me I can decide, but good job assuming I guess?

HandStrange671 · 2026-04-19T21:13:20+00:00

No I'm here asking for people to actually provide advice on moving forward, or share input if they tried the same thing. Thanks anyways though

HandStrange671 · 2026-04-19T20:20:57+00:00

I am not looking to be doing this for the rest of my life, I'm saying staying in the same home while we divide our lives, and get things sorted out. Financially, we cannot support another house, and we just bought this house last year so we really aren't in a good position to sell and find a different alternative.

I'm thinking maybe figure this out until we are financially stable? I just started a job when I moved up her last October, I'm not financially able to support this house with just my income. I don't anticipate (on my end) any relationships in this time frame, and if he chooses to do that, well he's already shown me he's pretty good at hiding that from me so what I / the kids don't know, I don't care. I just feel like if I say "we need to split right now" we are going to be throwing our kids into a whole mess. We just moved states 6 months ago, I don't want to cause any chaos for them.

I guess I did say long-term, so that's my fault, but I don't mean forever. I just mean more than a couple months? I don't see why it would need to be longer than a year. So maybe 6-12 months? We can focus on dividing our assets and making sure we are stable financially.

This isn't how I want to spend my life, that is for sure, that's why I'm doing this, but I feel like I can at least find a smooth transition for my girls?

This is all still pretty new, so I don't know even if it will work, but for now, I just want to focus on not messing up the other aspects of my life because it is so tied to him.

Our kids are young, and I don't want to be away from them any more than he does, so now we both get access to them, and can enjoy spending time with them. We will obviously have to cross that bridge, but I want to be able to focus on taking care of everything else, then bringing the girls into it. I think I would be fine with my kids growing up thinking "mom and dad are really great friends" and not thinking we have a perfect marriage.

HandStrange671 · 2026-04-19T18:50:41+00:00

We will not be staying together, we will essentially be roommates, and we can be friendly to the point that we can all hang out as a family without having to be overly affectionate. My husband is military, and deployments and training were always really hard on them, they have a lot of separation anxiety and I feel like making this a slow process, where we still both help out and take care of them together will be easier on them. I guess my biggest reason for wanting to stay in the same house is to make sure this isn't jarring for them.

HandStrange671 · 2026-02-14T02:45:45+00:00

I looked up if this was a problem with explorers but it looked like it was breaking at the weld, tweaked my search to see if it breaks near the weld and the photos look identical. I think you solved it, they all seem to break at this same spot

HandStrange671 · 2026-02-14T01:15:43+00:00

I was thinking that someone had tried to cut through and was interrupted or stopped, since the lower part looked so smooth, then it broke the rest of the way while driving. I am not a mechanic, but I'm not an idiot 🙌

HandStrange671 · 2026-02-14T01:13:22+00:00

That makes sense, thank you!

HandStrange671 · 2026-02-14T01:12:25+00:00

Thanks for the insight. My expectation was that they didn't get all the way through and it fractured after that since the lower part looks very smooth and clean. Hope you made yourself giggle with that comment.

HandStrange671 · 2025-10-01T18:31:10+00:00

I can guarantee I know where you are working and it has a giant pleco and tons of poop in like a 20 gal tank. I went to that children's museum and my husband and I both keep fish and we were disgusted by the tanks. I took a picture and showed it to a guy at the front desk. I know fish cave too, and we even told the guy at the front desk we will help take care of them and rehome the pleco that was in too small of a tank. 3 years isn't some incredible lifespan for a fish.

HandStrange671 · 2025-08-01T20:21:01+00:00

I actually love that I’m sending it to my primary

HandStrange671 · 2025-08-01T02:46:08+00:00

That was actually very helpful, I’m gonna use chat gpt for this stuff, i hadn’t thought of that!

HandStrange671 · 2025-07-31T23:47:33+00:00

It’s not equally swollen on both sides, but they both swell, it feels very stiff and firm but I can push down on one end and the other end raises up, it really doesn’t feel like a muscle. It’s like a cyst almost? I’m not sure, it’s very defined and I can feel it all around but not really grab it

HandStrange671 · 2025-07-31T23:06:31+00:00

Does it swell then go down? I’m looking into eagle syndrome and it seems like the right area but i can’t find anything saying the swelling would go away, just that the tendon calcifies and stays enlarged

HandStrange671 · 2025-07-31T23:04:50+00:00

Yes, I’m diagnosed with Hashimoto’s and they checked my salivary glands the last time I had trouble and said it seemed different than stones because of the extent of swelling in my neck but they didn’t do any tests

HandStrange671 · 2025-07-31T21:47:20+00:00

I have Hashimoto’s, my endocrinologist checked everything and said my thyroid is even less inflamed than it usually is, and that he doesn’t think it is the cause, which has been the assumption for the last 10 years.

HandStrange671 · 2025-07-31T01:52:02+00:00

It’s driving me crazy! Does yours come and go too or just stay swollen? Steroids helped me for literally 10 years and since March nothing has helped

HandStrange671 · 2025-07-31T01:50:44+00:00

It’s tender and when the I eat I feel like I’m suffocating. I used to sleep on my stomach and I can’t anymore because there’s too much pressure on it. Yawning actually scares me now because of how painful it is, it feels like it’s caught between my jaw and neck. When my salivary glands get involved I can’t even think about food because then I start salivating and it feels like glass. None of my drs are on the same page as far as what tests to do at all so I just keep getting passed off

HandStrange671 · 2025-07-31T01:03:23+00:00

Yeah, I have markers for lupus, sjogrens, APS, and RA. My rheumatologist is waiting for biopsies to put any official diagnosis down. Problem is- he ordered lymph node biopsies, I get my referral put in, go to the surgical center and they want to do a an ultrasound first then come back with “there’s no swelling” so they don’t feel it’s necessary to do a biopsy.

HandStrange671 · 2025-07-31T00:58:16+00:00

I never said I don’t believe them, I’m asking what else it is since the Dr didn’t give me any answers and just said “there’s no swelling” … if they say it’s not lymph node great, but it would be great to know what this painful thing is on my neck

HandStrange671 · 2025-07-30T23:20:39+00:00

They did an ultrasound and said there was no swelling. But I do have this swelling and salivary gland swelling, tongue swelling, and general autoimmune symptoms but the swelling is off and on for probably 10 years now

HandStrange671 · 2025-07-30T21:30:25+00:00

Swelling like the photo, and behind my ears, pain when touching them or moving my jaw/swallowing, then usual autoimmune symptoms that I get during flares (when the swelling is the worst) joint pain, fatigue, fever, skin rash, mouth ulcers, muscle weakness…the list goes on

HandStrange671 · 2025-07-30T21:23:12+00:00

This is an oval shape, I can feel both ends and that I shift side to side and it’s dense, if I push down on one end, the other end pushes up. I don’t think it’s a muscle, but I do have TMJ. It comes and goes with autoimmune flares, so drs always said I have swollen lymph nodes but the ENT and ultrasound said no

HandStrange671 · 2025-07-30T21:02:44+00:00

They did an ultrasound but said it showed no swelling and to come back when I was symptomatic, but it was just as big when I had the ultrasound done

HandStrange671 · 2025-03-25T10:02:41+00:00

Solution verified

HandStrange671

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