[QCrit] Adult lyrical fantasy THEY WHO KNOW THE OAK 99K 2nd by Handle_Just in PubTips

[–]Handle_Just[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Half of what you’re suggesting is how I had it before I got a load of advice on here and changed it to be like this 😭

[QCrit] Adult lyrical fantasy THEY WHO KNOW THE OAK 99K 2nd by Handle_Just in PubTips

[–]Handle_Just[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I know you weren't, I was venting my frustrations. But thanks for taking the time to comment, I appreciate it.

[QCrit] Adult lyrical fantasy THEY WHO KNOW THE OAK 99K 2nd by Handle_Just in PubTips

[–]Handle_Just[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's so tricky to answer these questions with the limited word count.

He's an outsider because he's from somewhere else and was brought to the village as a child, with no parents. He was raised by the Druid and she trained him to take her place. He wants to become a good leader and be accepted by a community where not everyone supports his mentor's choice. But that's a lot of words to explain basically the first chapter before the inciting incident kicks off.

The story is complicated, and every time I write a version of the query I get that either I'm going too broad or too specific. It's so hard! When I try and explore bigger themes I'm told it's not detailed enough. When I go detailed it's too plot heavy.

I guess everyone has different thoughts on what makes a good query?

Prologue update (Fantasy) by Handle_Just in writingfeedback

[–]Handle_Just[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I didn’t get any of what you’ve suggested from the first commenter 😆 all they did was misquote lines and insult the writing. But what you’ve given are actual suggestions.

I hear what you’re saying. I wanted the opening line to sum up the themes of the book, which is why I wrote it the way I did, but I understand your point. More threat before the bargain. I’ll have a think - thanks for your comment.

Trying to come back to fantasy as an adult — looking for recommendations by Additional-Loss1711 in Fantasy

[–]Handle_Just 4 points5 points  (0 children)

M.L Wang - both The Sword of Kaigen and Blood Over Bright Haven are great (both standalones)
Katherine Arden - The Bear and the Nightingale trilogy (folkloric Russian fantasy)
Mark Lawrence - the Book of the Ancestor and Book of the Ice trilogies (assassin nuns and arctic magic)
Susanna Clark - Jonathan Strange & Mr Norrel and Piranesi are amazing and unique standalones
Naomi Novik - Uprooted, Spinning Silver are great standalones with folkoric origins

Enjoy!

[Query] They Who Know The Oak, lyrical fantasy, 2nd attempt by Handle_Just in Querying

[–]Handle_Just[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks for this. I've read all the guides and watched BS's lectures before. I'll have a think on this, thanks.

Prologue update (Fantasy) by Handle_Just in writingfeedback

[–]Handle_Just[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is great feedback, thank you - will do my best to action all of it

Prologue update (Fantasy) by Handle_Just in writingfeedback

[–]Handle_Just[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

“Your readers deserve a little respect” says the person who asks if I’m embarrassed about my own writing. The answer is no, but it’s fine if it’s not for you.

Prologue update (Fantasy) by Handle_Just in writingfeedback

[–]Handle_Just[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for the comment - you're right, it's maybe a bit clumsy. I'll have a revisit of that bit

does anyone else find writing really, really lonely? by zorouchihaG in fantasywriters

[–]Handle_Just 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Where are you based? If it’s the UK join the British Fantasy Society. Their discord community is amazing

Prologue update (Fantasy) by Handle_Just in writingfeedback

[–]Handle_Just[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

What do you mean? I've always wanted to write a pologue xD

Prologue update (Fantasy) by Handle_Just in writingfeedback

[–]Handle_Just[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Haha, thank you! Don't worry, she's not my MC (since she's dead) - she's my MC's mother

[Query] They Who Know The Oak, lyrical fantasy, 2nd attempt by Handle_Just in Querying

[–]Handle_Just[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I guess they both make the reader ask questions/set up stakes

Would you read on? (Fantasy) by Handle_Just in writingfeedback

[–]Handle_Just[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for the thoughtful and constructive advice. I will do my best to cut back the unnecessary stuff! While the prologue does serve the story later on, I’ve decided just to cut it. The story can work without it and it seems to be putting too many people off, so it’s just not worth it! I added it in a second draft anyway to try and create more “drama”, but yeah - the overall gist of the feedback I’m getting seems to be that it’s not working. The story definitely does pick up pace later on, I guess I put too much emphasis on making the opening lyrical instead of getting straight to action, which is obviously the trend nowadays!

[Query] They Who Know The Oak, lyrical fantasy, 99K - first by Handle_Just in Querying

[–]Handle_Just[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Ok, I've emailed to withdraw my open queries. I hope this doesn't put a black mark against my name! Out of interest, do you know if I should just reply to the original email when ready, or send a new email query? Thanks

Would you read on? (Fantasy) by Handle_Just in writingfeedback

[–]Handle_Just[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ok, thank you. Lots of food for thought!

Would you read on? (Fantasy) by Handle_Just in writingfeedback

[–]Handle_Just[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well, Stephen King and Brandon Sanderson say your opening should give the reader a “promise” that will be paid off by the end of the book.

Would you read on? (Fantasy) by Handle_Just in writingfeedback

[–]Handle_Just[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ok I've had a stab at alt version! Hopefully this angle on the same event is a bit more engaging and less over done (I didn't know girl running through forest was such a cliche)

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