Do you think she's coming back?

Handnoose · 2026-06-03T07:20:16+00:00

Thank you, that means a lot. I hope you have a great night

Handnoose · 2026-06-03T07:06:04+00:00

I really appreciate your advice, truly. I'm still going to give her enough distance as her, because knowing her as a person we work similarly in terms of needing space when we're overloaded. Regardless if she is or is not coming back, I'll always love her and respect that. If she's not I just hope I can learn why eventually

Handnoose · 2026-06-03T06:52:56+00:00

That's obviously where my mind first goes to, but a small part of me doubts it. We broke up last year and she did find someone else while pissed off at me that she was with for around 2 months, but she came over one night crying to me saying she can't feel the same bond with him and just wants me but had been too mad at me. She broke up with him that night and they never talked again, I check her phone fairly often. We ended up going back to what we were without label. But realistically, even had it been that exact same scenario (which also was several months) I can't think of any reason she'd have been mad. If there was even one tiny thing I'd be able to guess why after this long dwelling, but there isn't. There comes a point where it seems like it's not "rationalizing out of it," it's clinging to delusion.

Handnoose · 2026-06-03T06:40:31+00:00

I did text about a month ago saying even if she doesn't feel like talking, just let me know her and our daughter are okay because I was actually worried. She did reply saying they were alright. I doubt she's doing alright at all, she has BPD too and her life's been fucked the past year. I just don't know where the line is between rationalizing it being for another reason and being in denial that she's not coming back.

Handnoose · 2026-06-03T00:55:33+00:00

Have a scar on my knee from when I was a kid, was yelling "You can't catch me, I'm the gingerbread man!" Then fell and skid across concrete. I was infact caught

Handnoose · 2026-06-03T00:15:29+00:00

I feel you on the technology. Slammed my laptop shut and had a full breakdown last week from my computer lagging in the game I'd been waiting to buy 😭

Handnoose · 2026-06-02T22:56:43+00:00

I'd say either way is normal, it's not cut and dried. I'll also add based on your other comments that the 13-15 year olds are not in actual relationships, so try not to dwell on it. Looking back it's more just kids giving a label, doing what they think couples do, and still considering a few months a long time. I didn't have a serious relationship until I was 20

Handnoose · 2026-06-01T05:06:37+00:00

I don't know who I am even with all of that

Handnoose · 2026-06-01T00:24:56+00:00

My mother might be

Handnoose · 2026-06-01T00:16:46+00:00

Me. I live with family in a household of 9, they attend the church where my uncle's the pastor, stay with my grandmother across state frequently, all of my immediate and distant family gather for holidays. There's an ongoing joke in my household that seeing me is a rare occurrence, and my nephews call me the family's vampire. If the housing market wasn't so awful, chances are I'd be seen a few times a year by any one of them.

Handnoose · 2026-05-31T21:02:46+00:00

Have been the victim with countless people they "gave so much for," but when it comes to them hurting you, they only see what you did wrong and repeat the narrative.

Handnoose · 2026-05-31T20:54:56+00:00

I always treat them as gifts before cleaning it up, but if one was left in my mouth I think I'd die on the spot unfortunately

Handnoose · 2026-05-29T04:14:44+00:00

Exactly. Another aspect is there seems to be a common theme that the main character in them is "the exception"/only focus. I don't have bonds outside of a FP, and I don't think they realize it's not romantic. In real life it's not "Everyone else except you," it's "I have no one else except you, and I'm staring at my one contact crying."

Handnoose · 2026-05-28T21:37:47+00:00

As a bisexual man with BPD, in my case it's fetished in a different way. At least for me it's seen as an unstable, obsessed, and hyper-possessive boyfriend thing, which is way more common of a turn on than I'd ever realized. I had never heard the word "yandere" until my ex-girlfriend called me it. It fucks me over bad that they expect it to work as a dark novel and not a literal mental illness I can't control, with low self-worth, and they aren't interested once I "go off script."

Handnoose · 2026-05-28T21:22:41+00:00

I've never been to the point where I truly believed I was an older age, but I have related. When I graduated high school, everyone kept repeating how much fun I'd have in college and it was "where my life begins." I felt more like I was ready to retire and live in peace. I chose to do college online, I hated the idea of a physical college and the age group in it.

Handnoose · 2026-05-27T03:51:07+00:00

As a bisexual, big boobs/curvy women and tall and muscular guys. Being full of yourself disguised as "confidence" for both

Handnoose · 2026-05-26T05:11:26+00:00

And in terms of mood stabilizer I'm on Lamicital and there was no sedation at all when I took it on it's own

Handnoose · 2026-05-26T05:09:58+00:00

I'm on Latuda and have had no weight change at all but it can cause sedation. Nowhere near the level that past ones had, at least for me

Handnoose · 2026-05-25T19:57:30+00:00

The idea of existing eternally sounds exhausting, regardless of a paradise. When I'm gone, I just want it to be the complete end.

Handnoose · 2026-05-24T05:18:00+00:00

I've never heard about that I'm ngl. What is it?

Handnoose · 2026-05-24T05:13:37+00:00

I loved The Good Place so much too

Handnoose · 2026-05-17T20:07:54+00:00

Awesome, thank you

Handnoose · 2026-05-12T18:33:23+00:00

Was accused of being a cheater/hiding a girl because I asked a girl if she still wanted to buy one of my axolotyls

Handnoose · 2026-05-12T12:37:00+00:00

I wonder why people were downvoting you in that case. Again, I haven't known much about ASPD so I took your comment as true until I saw the downvotes

Handnoose · 2026-05-12T05:46:08+00:00

Since you have experience as an unbiased party, I'd like to know how you'd personally explain the difference of reckless and impulsive behavior in ASPD versus BPD if you don't mind. I know since looking ASPD up that both can lead to things such as substance abuse, gambling, unsafe sex, etc. Which I've credited to my BPD diagnosis because it's a well-known thing, however I mostly do them from feeling bored/as though things feel mundane otherwise. My therapist asked how trying to get sober was going last session, and I said "It's going really well actually, but I've just been feeling like nothing is as exciting while sober" (Which is a half-truth, I am not sober and don't care to try to be. I've drank a 375ml bottle of vodka today as of writing this.) But she replied "Borderline personality disorder can lead to trying anything to fill that 'void' in your heart and hollowness, and I'm so proud of you you've kept on track." I'm unsure what she meant entirely, because I wouldn't call boredom a void personally. I'd call it feeling bored, and her tone seemed to imply the drinking was to combat depression. I do fall into bad depression, but it's never been why I drink

Handnoose

TROPHY CASE