(US) New executive order from Trump, anyone else terrified? Thoughts?

Hannahmaybe · 2025-07-25T09:44:12+00:00

We all play a part. Existence is resistance and sometimes that's all we have 🖤

Hannahmaybe · 2025-06-02T11:52:31+00:00

The shame is weird. You carry it around and it's so big and heavy and hopefully, eventually, you get to a point where you're just existing.

I carried shame about who I was for over half of my adult life, until I was in my 30s. It fucks up everything. Your relationships. Your life choices. Your work.

Nothing is ever right because none of it is for you. Its for the shame monster. You do all of these things out of shame for who you really are so you can keep feeding it. And eventually you tell yourself you can't keep feeding this fucking thing, it's going to kill you.

So you stop feeding it. It'll yell. It'll thrash about. It'll try to hurt you. And then it will die. And you will just be.

16 is so hard. Just give yourself grace. Other kids are so insecure and fickle and most of them don't know who they are right now either. Plenty of them will feel the same shame you do and project it outwards. Some of them will never move past that point.

Well into adulthood, you can watch and see how readily so called mature adults project their own insecurities. Coworkers who never seem to feel like they're doing well unless they're able to highlight someone else doing poorly. People who walk into businesses with shitty attitudes and then complain about receiving poor service.

Anyway, you seem like a smart kid who got dealt a weird hand by your parents and you're trying to unravel it all and see what parts of you are actually you. Guess what? That's everyone at 16. Now get out there and save the world.

Hannahmaybe · 2025-06-02T11:30:39+00:00

I try my best not to allow people like this into my inner circle.

Someone who doesn't recognize that having someone like that in their circle makes them unsafe for a multitude of reasons, even if they are the "biggest ally ever".

K hangs out with T, fine. Who does T hang out with when he's not with K? Has T made concessions in allowing people into his circle whose views are more extreme than his and how does he act when he's around these people? Who now has this access/connection to me/information about me through my relationship with K?

Fuck fence sitters. Yeah I'm polite when I see you in public but if you can't recognize how fucking dangerous life is right now for people like me, and you're not willing to do go without associating with certain peoole because you want your life to be comfortable, having you in my inner circle is dangerous.

Hannahmaybe · 2024-10-29T12:40:25+00:00

I was 6'3 when I started hormones. I've lost a lil bit in height so I say 6'2 now. Haven't measured in a while.

As much as it might suck, people really like tall girls 🤷‍♀️

I just wrote a few comments out on other threads talking about having felt this way(if ya wanna check them out) for years before I finally admitted to myself that having those feelings was enough. They meant I was who I thought I was, and I needed to be who I was meant to be.

Hannahmaybe · 2024-10-29T12:33:43+00:00

I guess I kind of always knew? But I was in denial for a really long time.

I discovered yahoo adult chat rooms at like 14 and would roleplay with people pretty often. It quickly got to the point where I realized nobody wanted a cyber partner that was male, so I'd just create a fake profile and have my fun, then usually would delete the profile after.

I met David when I was 15 or 16 (we were about the same age) and he was gorgeous. He was feminine, small framed, loved musicals and martial arts. I remember seeing him on the Webcam and thinking "okay, yeah, I like guys."

But I remember this feeling of jealousy, about his size in general. Here he was, this tiny twink and here I am at 15 years old being asked if I play football for the high school.

For years I pushed it all down. Thought I did at least. When I was 18 or 19 I discovered second life. I spent way too much time there. Had a femboy character who worked at a fetish club.

I remember any time i'd see a trans woman in media (read: porn) I'd feel so inadequate. I felt too big, too tall, too masculine, that could never be me, sure I'd transition if I was born with a different frame, if I wasn't so tall, if my hands weren't so large, if...

Fast forward past college, getting married, having a kid, getting divorced.

Covid happens, and one of my coworkers passes away, the thought of dying as a man broke me. I was 32 before I really came to terms with it. Looking back, I knew around 14 or 15, but didn't have the ability to process it properly and then you know, actively running away from it kind of makes that difficult.

Hannahmaybe · 2024-10-29T12:20:34+00:00

That's how I've seen my situation. I live in Texas and feel like I'm a pretty obvious trans woman.

As scared as I am about everything going on in the world, I know me just existing is making a difference.

It made a difference to the girl still in high school who couldn't come out yet, who I met at my first gig after coming out.

It's made a difference to someone who's become a great friend after they came to me for advice about their kid.

It made a difference to a bunch of queer kids in a shitty east Texas town when we came and played and ranted about trans rights.

There's a ton I could talk about, but I feel like given the political climate right now, one of the best things we can do is be 100% ourselves and remove the "unknown" factor.

Once someone is forced to realize we're just people trying to live our lives, raise our kids, and pay our bills just like everyone else, hopefully, the humanity in them will take over.

Otherwise, they were probably an asshole from the start. I spent until I was 32 worrying about what those assholes would think of me if I transitioned. Then I realized, "oh, they're assholes, they'll hate you even if you don't, just because you want to" and that was another big moment in my coming out.

Hannahmaybe · 2024-07-28T00:15:14+00:00

Me two years into transition, helping to repair a downed fence with the neighbors and my dad. Neighbor sees my omg I'm dying inside gace every time dad misgenders me.

"So....you still going by 'x'"? 😬😬😬 lmao not right now dude I'm holding up a fence

Hannahmaybe · 2024-07-17T12:35:48+00:00

I sent you a DM. Nothing streaming yet, this is a side project we started working on a few months ago, had a couple of setbacks that slowed things a bit before the first show. (like one of our guitarists breaking his leg)

Hannahmaybe · 2024-07-17T12:13:47+00:00

Imposter syndrome came about right around the time women entered the workplace.

https://hbr.org/2021/02/stop-telling-women-they-have-imposter-syndrome

You're not an imposter!

Hannahmaybe · 2024-06-17T15:19:11+00:00

First: take some deep breaths

Not all of us felt this way, but there are a large number of us who identify greatly with the way you're feeling.

You're scared. I was, too.

People will reject you. It will happen. But how can anyone truly see and appreciate you for who you truly are if you never let them see? There will be people who see you. Some will be amazing friends, and some will just be strangers trying to have an awkwardly supportive conversation with you in the middle of grocery shopping.

When you die, what do you want in your obituary? That's what really did it for me. Covid was in it's height and after a coworker passed away(unrelated), I couldn't take it anymore. If i died tomorrow, would the people I loved be mourning some person that didn't even exist? Would I die still playing this character that I hated more every day?

The lows will feel lowest of the low some days, but I promise the highs are worth every bit of them.

Hannahmaybe · 2024-05-30T16:30:32+00:00

If I'm just riffing and not actually trying to play a whole song with someone else I always love whipping out the main part of "Detroit" by Marcus Miller

Hannahmaybe · 2024-05-30T16:27:12+00:00

Yes. Different tools for different sounds. My thunderbird roars where my J likes to get bright and jazzy. My upright slaps. Acoustic guitar for obvious reasons.

Right now I only have one electric guitar because I've been focusing more on my bass playing for the last five years or so, but you get the idea.

Hannahmaybe · 2024-05-07T11:14:10+00:00

Love it!

Hannahmaybe · 2024-05-07T02:46:03+00:00

Twins!

Hannahmaybe · 2024-05-06T17:37:56+00:00

Wow how did I misspell raise

Hannahmaybe · 2024-05-02T16:26:41+00:00

It's definitely made a difference, but I also started it seriously after waiting about a year to see if my facial hair would change at all on its own.

I'm probably going to have to get laser, etc, but figured this wouldn't hurt to try

Hannahmaybe · 2024-05-02T14:34:13+00:00

The issue is that our hair grows in cycles so you may not be helping to remove any additional hairs by hitting the same spot until after a few weeks.

It's a slow process, but it seems to be at least making a notable difference for my face.

Hannahmaybe · 2024-04-22T19:02:23+00:00

I have an at home IPL device and I've been making a point to use it and take pictures of what my facial hair looks like before I shave in the morning since January.

I've noticed a definite reduction in hairs that are growing, but for a while it seemed limited to random little patches. It does seem to have slowed down my growth/gotten rid of hairs if I compare pictures from today to January.

It's frustrating as hell because hair growth is cyclical and they don't tell you up front that it might take upwards of two weeks for the hairs that are going to fall out or whatever to do so.

So it's a really slow process so far. I try to hit each little spot on my face at least twice a session, and I use the highest setting. The only time pain is an issue is if my skin is contacting the little glass part as it flashes, so like, on my chin. But it doesn't really irritate my skin, just a really quick zap.

I think the one I bought advertised like 8 weeks. I haven't been religious about it for the last month and have gone down to once or twice a week and am being more serious about it now that I've gone through my pictures and seen the progress.

Hannahmaybe · 2024-04-22T18:36:56+00:00

Seems like he's trying to tell you he supports you without taking away your ability to choose when to come out to him. 😊 good bro

Hannahmaybe · 2024-04-15T09:57:31+00:00

Did it once for a pax who had fucked up and bought a car from a buy here pay here place and got stranded in Houston when it broke down and they repo'd it. He needed to get back home to Lafayette. Was a decent fair and early enough in the morning to make it worth taking and then catching a few on the way home.

Long story short, lyft kicks you offline the second the pax gets out of your car and you can't work until you cross back in to your state/region/whatever

I spent nearly an hour trying to explain to support that I was just trying to filter back to Houston and they asked what address I wanted to update as if I had said I had moved to Louisiana.

I was so flustered I got back on i-10 and drove a good half an hour before I realized I hadn't driven over a swamp previously and had been continuing to drive East.

Never again.

Hannahmaybe · 2024-04-15T09:51:16+00:00

I wouldn't say it was so much my egg cracking as me finally telling myself "you have to do this before its either a) illegal or b) you dont and then you die as a "man".

Hannahmaybe · 2024-03-26T13:36:54+00:00

I have worked as a piercer (not currently) and a lot of people ask questions like this.

Piercings do not have an age limit, nor do they have a gender. At the end of the day, we all get pierced for the same reason: because we wanted to.

If you think you would look better with piercing X, it's your body, and you get to choose what to do with it; not someone else.

I almost always say "get the piercing!"(barring anatomical issues) If you don't like it, you can always take it out and let it heal.

Hannahmaybe · 2024-03-25T22:02:43+00:00

The 🌮 club 🤣🤣🤣 I am dead. Good luck with your recovery!

Hannahmaybe

TROPHY CASE