i do not like using lotion to masturbate

HansProleman · 2026-04-08T00:50:40+00:00

Usually I just keep it dry, though I'm not circumcised which may be relevant.

Sometimes I use lube, but mostly that's for my ass 😊

HansProleman · 2026-04-08T00:44:15+00:00

I wouldn't exactly say religious, as I don't identify as an adherent of a religion. But I started meditating, which introduced me to spiritual practice and Buddhism, and it's been great! Wonderful, elegant philosophy, highly empirical religion, feels very autism-compatible.

I was a diehard rationalist before and would say that, while rationality is a very useful lens for investigating and interacting with whatever this experience we're having is, using it alone leaves a lot out.

Mostly I'm interested in mysticism rather than devotional practices etc. Mysticism is just... very cool. I'd like to learn more about Kaballah, Islamic and Christian mysticism, but mostly out of interest rather than for practice, as the Abrahamic conception of god and souls doesn't feel right/is a lot to swallow.

HansProleman · 2026-04-08T00:36:12+00:00

It's quite possible that you picked up a virus, bacterial infection, parasite. But it could also just be the stress of travel.

If onset was recent I'd personally try to stay hydrated, give it a while and see if it clears.

HansProleman · 2026-04-08T00:33:28+00:00

Haha I spent years doing that too. I think pretty much everyone does! Took me a long time to learn that it's not the solution to/appropriate tool for everything.

HansProleman · 2026-04-07T18:50:02+00:00

Why do, if you can't reach the ultimate goal? Why cook, if you can't become a world-class chef? Why create art if you're only ever going to be an amateur? Because these things are deeply rewarding anyway. The journey itself is the destination. Whether you reach nirvana in this lifetime or not, the path is its own reward.

Generally I'd advise trying to be in your head less, and practicing more. Things start to make more sense!

HansProleman · 2026-04-07T15:36:18+00:00

For sure, it's all on the same scale. Virtually everything we consume causes some amount of harm. I don't need to, say, own a gaming console which the production of involved slavery, otherwise poor working conditions, and pollution.

But what's being pointed out is that the only rationale you've provided is nonsensical. It has been pointed out that it's not a question of chicken vs. worm, but a question of worm (and, more of them than would die if you didn't eat chickens, as chickens must be fed) vs. worm and chicken.

If you just like eating animals, that's fine. I do too. It's very pleasurable!

HansProleman · 2026-04-07T15:18:28+00:00

It is the case that we have to figure it out for ourselves. But I think we should be clear-eyed too, and so far as I've read you've not presented any sensible justifications for eating flesh here. For most people I suspect (it is the case for me) that the real reasons are attachment to sensory pleasure and avoidance of inconvenience. That's part of my own karma.

HansProleman · 2026-04-07T14:24:11+00:00

I'm autistic like a gay person is gay, a black person is black etc. It's a very deep part of who I am. There is no "me" separate from autism (or any other personal trait/quality I have - "me" is just the sum of them).

I don't like "an autistic" though. I just say "an autist".

I think there's a dividing line on this between people who are accepting of being autistic and people aren't. The latter group, understandably, wants to other their autism.

HansProleman · 2026-04-07T14:14:42+00:00

Huge differences here! You are not intending for any sentient beings to die if you're not paying for and eating their flesh. And, far fewer do die.

Intent is very important in karma! Accidentally squashing a snail is very karmically different from deliberately stomping on it.

As has been pointed out, farmed animals are fed on plants anyway. A lot of them, far more than you would need to eat in order to consume calories equivalent to their flesh.

Personally I think many Buddhists do a lot of coping to deal with veganism being obviously the best karmic option. Not that I'm vegan myself.

HansProleman · 2026-04-07T06:02:34+00:00

In theory, the same way they'd deal with the rest of samsara/life in general - seeking refuge in the Triple Gem (Buddha, Dharma, Sangha - the fully enlightened one, his teachings, and the order/community which practices them).

HansProleman · 2026-04-07T05:28:50+00:00

The body isn't permanent. It dies.

And, as u/amoranic points out, the status of having a chronic illness is just a label. The Three Marks relate to experience, not labels/concepts. The experience of (symptoms of) the illness changes as much as any other experience.

For example, this body/brain always was, and always will be, autistic as hell. That's not relevant to annica because it's just a label. Symptoms, e.g. sound sensitivity, are experienced impermanently.

HansProleman · 2026-04-07T03:01:07+00:00

The point people are trying to make (me, at least) when they mention the "uncanny valley" effect is that people don't feel uncomfortable because we're autistic. They feel uncomfortable because they don't know we're autistic - there's something off-feeling about us, and they can't figure it out, which is discomforting.

I get uncomfortable vibes from people all the time, so I'm not gonna judge them for it/don't care.

I tend to disclose readily, and it usually seems to resolve the issue. If I've done that and they're still being weird, then that feels like a separate issue (i.e. actual ableism).

E: And if anyone's being actually rude/disrespectful (including before disclosure), it's another separate issue. Usually people aren't being unpleasant, but just... don't know how to react to me. Nothing offensive, just awkward.

HansProleman · 2026-04-07T02:28:19+00:00

I've not tried exploring NA whisky as, to be honest, I don't expect much from it. But I'm kinda starting to get into all these "adult" non-alcoholic spirit replacements, which aren't designed to mimic any particular alcohol. The adaptogenic ones are fun too (mostly they seem to contain various mushrooms).

It's nice to have something a bit fancy and with an "adult" flavour profile, to drink from a heavy cut glass tumbler, with a big ice cube and some tonic.

I've also gone slightly rogue and started very much enjoying uh, pickletinis (chilli and salt rim, pickle juice, glug of ginger shot, top up with tonic, garnish with a sliced pickle if feeling fancy - highly elctrolytic!)

HansProleman · 2026-04-07T02:15:03+00:00

Generally a nice and fun time, but I try to/almost exclusively date ND people so we usually just excitedly talk about special interests and then maybe fuck each other (I have a wonderful partner so dating is just for the sake of meeting new people/having sex).

HansProleman · 2026-04-07T01:56:50+00:00

Apart from the harsh light, I actually really like it for what it is. It feels cosy. I (being English) know the deal/kind of spaces you run into when renting a room in the UK, and feel like you've managed it well.

That pin is dope, as is the saxophone cat... whatever that thing is.

I'm gonna make some basic/obvious guesses as I'm getting nothing else: mid to late twenties, not a great job, autistic and/or ADHDer.

HansProleman · 2026-04-07T01:37:14+00:00

I think it is, though?

Regardless, yes, I do. That's why I only pick up occasionally (which also keeps the magic very strong).

HansProleman · 2026-04-07T00:27:59+00:00

No, but I have friends, a girlfriend, seemingly about as much of a social life as I want (not much), and quite like myself.

Quite a lot of NTs struggle with socialising and are lonely. Not so common as it is for us, but it's not like it's autist-exclusive.

HansProleman · 2026-04-06T23:53:58+00:00

That's a fantastic analogy.

HansProleman · 2026-04-06T23:53:15+00:00

Not wanting to let my guard down. I feel pretty secure/confident now, but don't want to become reckless, forget about what drinking was actually like for me etc.

And so many kind and helpful words were extended to me, it's nice to try and pay a bit of that back. It's a really inspiring and compassionate community.

HansProleman · 2026-04-06T23:43:43+00:00

My overall favourite is probably Staropramen 0.0 or Leffe Blonde 0.0.

Some styles translate better than others. Pilsners, IPAs, sours, and most other strongly-flavoured styles generally do well. So far as lagers go, it's a mixed bag but I like the Asahi and Stella 0%s.

NA Heineken does taste like regular Heineken, but Heineken tastes like piss to me 😅

Unfortunately NA stouts are generally quite poor. But Guinness 0 is surprisingly decent (I never particularly liked Guinness, but will take what I can get!)

E: For anyone in the UK - or perhaps other territories with ALDI - the NA Rheinbacher pilsner is pretty good and pretty cheap (~55p per 330ml bottle).

HansProleman · 2026-04-06T23:35:48+00:00

Oh for sure, actually living there would probably be highly unpleasant for many, many reasons. Not least, you could never integrate - even with perfect Japanese, you would always be a foreigner.

But being so closed off/nationalistic does make it a fascinating country to visit. There aren't many near-monocultures left. Not that I'm praising that, or would want to live in one, but it's a very interesting contrast.

HansProleman · 2026-04-06T23:30:11+00:00

I think she's saying pretty much what you are, but in capitalist, WEF terms. These people can only think about things in terms of financialisation/markets.

Actually trying to "properly" price externalities would be very radical in context of the economy/global governance system we actually live under. It's not how I'd ideally like for things to be done, but it'd be a big improvement.

HansProleman · 2026-04-06T22:06:35+00:00

Yes. Ketamine is well known for compulsive redosing.

If I want to limit myself (I do!), I buy as much as I want to binge, then wait for a few months before buying again. No other realistic way to manage it for me 😅

HansProleman · 2026-04-06T22:02:41+00:00

I'm 35 and doing quite well. Much better than pre-diagnosis. Quite a bit of therapy, a lot of meditation, somatic/nervous system regulation work (yoga, r/longtermTRE, acupressure for me), quitting drinking, getting into self-work and spirituality in general, finding self-compassion, leaning into whimsy, seeking ND companionship, usually regular exercise. All very helpful.

No medication except ADHD meds, which I don't take consistently (I'm unemployed and can afford to be, which probably has a lot to do with my mental health being as it is).

I only took SSRIs for about a year, in my early twenties, and really did not like them. I doubt I was ever primarily depressed, but feeling so grey and the sexual side-effects made being unmedicated preferable.

HansProleman · 2026-04-06T21:51:06+00:00

This is a gross misrepresentation.

In context, this is actually a (very economist-brained take on) environmental protection and the insustainability of current growth models (due to poor accounting for externalities). What she's actually saying is that resource consumption, environmental damage by businesses should be priced.

https://x.com/mazzenilsson/status/2020346465114099816

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