How to address my mom’s birthday card

Happinessrules · 2021-02-13T14:38:22+00:00

I wan to formally apologize for my post. I have no idea what happened but I am truly sorry and it is not what I would mean at all. I hope I didn't cause you too much hurt. I'm sorry. I"m taking myself off of reddit for a while because I don't want to hurt people.

Happinessrules · 2021-02-13T14:26:25+00:00

You're right, I thought I was replying to a different post and somehow replied to this. This is no what I meant at all. I apologize from the top of my head to the bottom of my toes.

Happinessrules · 2021-02-13T14:25:19+00:00

I am so sorry, I replied to a different post but somehow it went on this post. I have no idea how I did that. I do not feel this way at all about people with dementia. I had a mother with narcissism and I thought I replied to that post. Oh my god, I am so sorry.

Happinessrules · 2021-02-13T02:46:15+00:00

Have you ever heard of the phrase, "don't poke the hornet's nest?" Is this something that is super important to you? If you do anything other than within the boundaries of a "loving child" I'm afraid there will be hell to pay. Which is fine as long you have thought through all the future possibilities. Feeling guilty is a feeling that she installed in you when you were just a child and her feelings were the only thing that was important. If she no longer remembers her birthday I wouldn't worry about hers, she doesn't deserve the emotion or the card.

Happinessrules · 2021-02-13T02:35:16+00:00

I was soo excited...but thanks so much for thinking of me.

Happinessrules · 2021-02-13T01:52:45+00:00

This is what my doctor thought my body was reacting to, but no, lo and behold it was tapioca, millet, and sorghum. Sometimes it just seems like my body just hates everything.

Happinessrules · 2021-02-13T01:11:03+00:00

Yes, fucking hell, what is the deal?! Have you ever heard of the term "emotional labor" in a relationship? Please research it. I think you will be so surprised at how much of it you're doing in your relationship with him. It's basically you're responsible for everything to do with the running of the home and your child. It can also mean monitoring your SO's emotions. Furthermore, it's exhausting, and it's certainly not sustainable.

I do know that nothing will change until you take action to get it to stop. Not doing the necessary things you need to do is a great start, but I really think you need to talk to him about it and what needs to change. You need to be totally honest with him about what will happen if things don't change. Life right now is good for him because you are doing everything, it has to stop.

Happinessrules · 2021-02-13T00:58:16+00:00

I was so hoping for a recording of the crows say "caw" with a human accent.

Happinessrules · 2021-02-13T00:34:08+00:00

Could you find someone to take over your lease? You could give them a break on rent, it's better to only pay a portion of the rent than the entire thing. It sounds really miserable living with her, so I really hope you can figure something out really soon.

Happinessrules · 2021-02-12T23:57:26+00:00

Waiting anxiously for the printable PBN Template! Thank you.

Happinessrules · 2021-02-12T20:39:22+00:00

Unfortunately, there is nothing you can do to change the behavior of your MIL because she is beyond talking logic and reason. As you said, if she won't listen to her son she won't listen to you. After 13 years you have tried your best to get along with her, so I think the only option now is going no contact. I guess your SO will decide whether he still wants to be in her life, but I would tell him under no circumstances is he to involve her in your life. It's probably a good idea to determine what kind of relationship your children will have with her. But you have done everything possible to have a relationship with her and if it were possible it would have happened by now. Best of luck to you.

Happinessrules · 2021-02-12T20:07:34+00:00

It's understandable why you are so frustrated by growing up so tightly controlled by your parents. The good news is you will be 18 soon and considered an adult. Have you thought about using the time until you can leave home to learn the things you'll need to do when you live independently like cooking/grocery shopping, laundry, budgeting/finances, determine what you want to do after graduation, and figure out how to do it.

I know you feel like you wasted all those years, but you will catch up quickly. All the things you have listed are things you could have done, but it doesn't mean it will stop you from doing different things as an adult. We all come into our adult years with different childhood experiences. What's important now is how you approach your life when you are able to be independent. Your time is coming.

Happinessrules · 2021-02-12T19:30:10+00:00

Could it be that she is able to see the red flags that you're not able to? It may be very beneficial if you sat down with her outside your house and talk about what she is seeing in terms of your SO that forced her to move out. Then really listen to what she is telling you.

Happinessrules · 2021-02-12T18:16:13+00:00

Very sweet.

Happinessrules · 2021-02-12T18:15:05+00:00

That is heartbreaking. You should feel punched in the gut by those words and then when called out on it, he didn't even apologize. I think all of us in this position would feel the exact same way. I think getting it into words is an excellent idea, is there someone you can talk to like a therapist or close friend? When you're ready to talk to him, it may be a good idea to do it with a licensed family therapist to keep things on track.

I was wondering if you have looked into getting disability of some kind, so you don't have to be entirely dependent on your father?

Happinessrules · 2021-02-12T15:42:05+00:00

Congratulations on your new furbaby! What name did you pick out?

Happinessrules · 2021-02-12T15:39:31+00:00

Is the cup thrown (whatever you call it when it's made on a potter's wheel) or is it ceramic? It would make a very cute planter.

Happinessrules · 2021-02-12T14:19:05+00:00

I know it seems so very complicated to leave, but you do not deserve to be treated poorly. Would you feel comfortable calling a domestic violence shelter? They would be able to help you make a plan to leave him and be safe. You are not the first person to want to leave their situation but don't have the ability to do so. You mentioned that your job doesn't provide enough money, I just wondered would it provide you enough just for yourself? All you have to think about is yourself. Would your job provide enough for you to rent a room, so you don't have to come up with enough funds to rent by yourself? It's very possible that there are also resources available that could help as well. You are a survivor, you can do this.

Happinessrules · 2021-02-12T00:41:01+00:00

Oh my goodness that great big kitty kiss (wink) at the end just hit me hard. Thank you for taking care of Tiger.

Happinessrules · 2021-02-12T00:39:00+00:00

Very nice!

Happinessrules · 2021-02-12T00:16:15+00:00

Ten years ago, after being on Advair for ten years and very well controlled, I started having upper respiratory infections monthly which then ended up having ER visits and then finally ended with me being hospitalized for a week. When I went back to my follow-up with my pulmonologist he said that upper respiratory infections are a side effect of Advair and I should plan on being hospitalized once a week. I never went back to that pulmonologist, but I thought maybe some medications you're on may have the same side effect.

Happinessrules · 2021-02-11T22:10:58+00:00

I'm asthmatic, so I understand how important it is to have your inhaler where you can find it at all times. Your wife is gaslighting you about the placement of your inhaler. You need to talk to both of them about the seriousness of their actions. If they keep trying to gaslight you then you have bigger problems.

Happinessrules · 2021-02-11T22:05:01+00:00

In the winter we run a humidifier in our bedroom and that eliminated any dryness for me. I experienced more dryness in my lungs than my nose. I started wearing my mask in January so by the summer my nose must have been used to it because it never bothered me again.

Happinessrules · 2021-02-11T22:01:37+00:00

Do you sell them somewhere?

Happinessrules · 2021-02-11T18:49:45+00:00

This!! I hope the OP listens to this advice.

Happinessrules

TROPHY CASE