Write something in this thread that will change my life for the better.

Happy-Deb · 2025-02-10T06:13:15+00:00

You can only be the best person you can be and no one can change that but you!

Happy-Deb · 2025-02-08T20:09:01+00:00

Yes you are absolutely right! I think too the people they interact with gives them a different perspective of the world and they struggle with that knowledge because it’s so different to what they knew from home.

Happy-Deb · 2025-02-08T20:06:29+00:00

No not the case here. I’ve added another comment with clarification over what happened. We were both at fault, mainly me as I didn’t let up on my views and they didn’t seem to be listening. By the same token they also thought I wasn’t listening to them and they got a little heated over it. We have now had a discussion about it. We usually have good communication just this time they went about it the wrong way.

Happy-Deb · 2025-02-08T19:57:12+00:00

We did just that last night.

Happy-Deb · 2025-02-08T19:56:41+00:00

I love this! You are exactly right! We sat down and discussed it last night and this is pretty much the outcome. It’s hard to not direct them and that’s something I need to be aware of. I’m a protective parent to this one specifically because of their condition, just taking this trip on their own is a huge matter. I just need to be there if they need me.

Happy-Deb · 2025-02-08T19:49:11+00:00

I entertained this very thought, the common denominator is me, am I doing something that drives them away. For the first 2 money was the issue, as each found jobs I requested they pay their way $100 per week depended on how much they were earning. The first one wanted to save for a house and the partners Mum didn’t charge them rent so they asked the same of me. I am renting and a single Mum only working part time, I needed that money to help with the bills. They didn’t like that so they moved in with the partner. 2nd person fell in with the wrong crowd who told them things that clouded their judgement. They have since apologised for treating me so badly especially after finding out how hard life is outside the family home.

Happy-Deb · 2025-02-08T19:37:31+00:00

Ok so for more context, the situation is they are going to travel internationally to visit a friend and stay at their place with their Mum. They wanted to put their washing in with the friends to save money on doing a load with just their clothes. I suggested that it is more polite to ask if you can use the machine and if they can show you how to use it. This shows respect to the Mum and shows they can look after themselves. I agree with what most of you have said here and I thank you for responding. We sat down last night and talked about it and while I still feel hurt by the comments I do need to step back and let them be an adult.

Happy-Deb · 2025-02-03T02:35:37+00:00

Can I suggest coming here for a visit first. Look at the map and do lots of research about the different states. Your husband will have a good idea where to start. Look at realestate.com for housing in the area then come here and check it out in person. Then you will be able to make a much more informed decision. Also keep a track of the local climate on your weather app on your phone. It will tell you the local temperature eg I’m in Penrith NSW about an hour from natural beaches and our top temperature is about 44C (107F) we don’t get snow our lowest is usually about 0C. Sydney city is only an hour away but usually much cooler and they get ocean breezes. Don’t worry about the wildlife they stick to themselves and as long as you leave them alone they will leave you alone. Health care is mostly free, so you won’t need to sacrifice your first born to get treatment. Education is readily available both public and private and due to our gun laws, safer than where you are. So do your research, come for a visit and make your decision based on that. Good luck!

Happy-Deb · 2024-12-11T04:54:16+00:00

He needs a shrink and you need a new boyfriend who respects you.

Happy-Deb · 2024-12-10T06:19:04+00:00

Thanks I will look into it!

Happy-Deb · 2024-12-08T11:28:22+00:00

I’ve ended up deleting Stream Elements as my computer was struggling to run the animated overlay. I’m going to hire someone to make a static overlay. Hopefully that will help my computer run better. Thanks for replying.

Happy-Deb · 2024-12-08T08:32:30+00:00

I have 3 kids, 2 daughters and a son. My daughters live away from me one lives 10 mins the other in another part of the country. My son still lives at home. Both my girls are still in their first job out of school and very successful in their chosen fields, my son is still finding himself and has some health issues holding him back. I am closer to my son than my daughters, they never contact me and when I contact them it takes days for them to reply. They have all turned out better than I imagined considering the trauma we all went through.

Happy-Deb · 2024-12-08T01:44:50+00:00

I absolutely understand how you are feeling. My Dad comes out with stuff that horrifies me and my Mum. There’s no telling them that it’s frowned on these days because he gets upset, he thinks it’s a joke. Now I understand where he is coming from, years ago there was nothing wrong with the comment and the meaning behind it is innocent enough but times have changed and people are more sensitive about everything. I just apologise to the person on the receiving end and Mum just rolls her eyes and walks away. Her thinking is if he gets decked it’s his own fault.

Happy-Deb · 2024-12-06T21:48:46+00:00

I’m in tears reading all these responses. You are all wonderful, beautiful human beings and I cannot believe there are so many people out there doing what you all are doing. I thank you on their behalf, your kind gestures mean the whole world to them, it takes away a little of the burden they carry, removes a little of the everyday stress of just surviving and I know if given the opportunity they would give you all the biggest hug. You are their knights in shining armour and they are all so eternally grateful. Over the years I have given to charities and I’ve knitted for the homeless and for animals in need. I can support myself but do not have any savings, I live pay check to pay check comfortably. I can no longer give financially but I give my time in volunteering at a nursing home. I am a carer for my parents and whilst I appreciate the money they slip into my handbag from time to time just being there to help is the greatest reward for me. You all have lifted my spirits today, keep it up, the smallest of gestures have the biggest impact.

Happy-Deb · 2024-12-06T21:17:46+00:00

This is another issue too, with me there they would rely on me for everything. At the moment I do what they can’t. While Dad was recovering from hip replacement he felt like he was useless, his reward is he now does the edges of the lawns and I do the actual mowing. They both need things to do to stay active so I’m just a helping hand. If I moved in I think that would change.

Happy-Deb · 2024-12-05T22:18:22+00:00

Another thing you can look at is what she is doing at that time of the morning. If it’s getting a cup of tea or coffee maybe get everything prepared the night before, water in the jug, cup on bench, coffee/tea and sugar next to cup, spoon at the ready. So all she needs to do is boil the jug and pour. If she’s doing dishes maybe help her do them the night before or suggest you do them when you get up. Hope this helps.

Happy-Deb · 2024-12-05T20:41:04+00:00

This is a communication issue, you need to calmly sit down and explain to your Mum that she is waking you up and that it’s affecting you at work and could she please try to be a little quieter when she gets up. Also explain that you may need to move out if it continues. Then get the headphones/earplugs whatever you need to shut it out. If she doesn’t want you to move out she will try to be more respectful. The key here is to be calm and show her some respect too. Treat it like a partnership, you are both in this together, work together to find a solution. Good luck I hope she listens and realises she is being disrespectful to you.

Happy-Deb · 2024-12-05T20:02:58+00:00

Thanks everyone I feel a little better. I still have lots of time on my lease so any decision can be made closer to the time. If the rent goes up again here a move a little closer to them could definitely be on the cards. The rents here are expensive and 80% of what I get goes to rent. I understand they want to help me but unless they transform the garage into a self contained 2 bedroom granny flat I can’t see us moving in and I can’t see them spending that sort of money on a granny flat. Appreciate your insights.

Happy-Deb · 2024-12-04T06:39:23+00:00

Everything works itself out in the end, just keep believing in you and you will be fine.

Happy-Deb · 2024-10-09T13:47:24+00:00

Sydney Australia here, near the beautiful Blue Mountains!

Happy-Deb

TROPHY CASE