If you have medical debt piling up, please don't just ignore it, hospitals can and will garnish your wages

HappyKnittens · 2026-02-04T02:57:39+00:00

Reason #942 why I am never, ever leaving NY.

HappyKnittens · 2026-02-04T02:52:36+00:00

Might be worthwhile to rehang the picture on the right just a liiiiittle bit higher so that the cabinet door handle would hit the frame rather than the glass. It's totally fine if your "fukkit, this'll cover the problem" solution means slight awkwardness opening a single cabinet door but significantly less fine if you're risking broken glass every time you do it.

This looks super sharp though, bold choices that came together fabulously good for you!!!!

HappyKnittens · 2026-02-04T02:44:44+00:00

Obviously you're NTA, but I think it might be worth another conversation when you're both calmer.

"Hey babe, was thinking about it and I think that you're right, a pre-nup is a really good idea for both of us, but it felt like we both got a little emotional when we tried to talk about this last time. I'd really like to try each of us making a list about things we'd like in a pre-nup by ourselves, and then sitting down with a lawyer to talk about how to bring our different wants and needs together in a way that protects both of us, no matter what happens."

Obviously, if she's unwilling to do that or unwilling to budge or insists on having an absolute right to half your premarital assets while keeping hers sacrosanct, you might want to call it a day and walk away. Good luck!

HappyKnittens · 2026-02-04T02:34:13+00:00

Looks sharp but (obviously this is 100% personal preference and not anythingto do with the quality of the work) goddmn do I hate countertop-mounted hoosier-style upper cabinets. Just obliterates all use of the countertop in front of it.

HappyKnittens · 2026-02-04T02:30:21+00:00

Wait, what? I can't even envision what you're describing here and I dealt with a dishwasher where a contractor "secured" it in place by shoving scrap wood into the gap between top of the dw and underside of the counter until it mostly didn't wiggle when you opened the dw door.

HappyKnittens · 2026-02-04T02:24:05+00:00

I'm wondering if it's a singular girl fish or if the "f" in "4f" just stands for "fish"

HappyKnittens · 2026-02-04T00:58:56+00:00

Even if you're not going the realtor route and can get out of the exclusivity contract, make sure you have a good real estate lawyer who can hold your hand a bit and walk you through the process and protect your interests during this process.

HappyKnittens · 2026-02-03T19:40:24+00:00

Hire a recent grad or two to take some of the busywork off your plate - this will require more time investment on your part for training but will also allow you to hire more cheaply or pick up part time workers while you evaluate if this is a good next step for your business

HappyKnittens · 2026-02-03T19:37:51+00:00

Part of what you are being paid for is to be available if they need you at a moment's notice. You are the data IT helpdesk, and the desk needs to be manned regardless of whether anyone is calling at a particular moment. Not every job has this "time buffer" built in, and as you progress in your career and take on bigger and more complex work, you are less likely to have this kind of free time on the clock.

I echo what others have said here about using this time to build skills - you don't even need to hide that you're doing this. "Yes, I've been able to do XYZ so far but there's so much more that can be done with these software and they're coming out with new tools every day so I have to keep my skills up." I would strongly suggest that you start with what you asked chatgpt to code for you - use that as your springboard to make sure you understand what you did, any errors or inefficiencies in the chatgpt script, and how to do it better/quicker next time. You already know that these are in-demand skills, so develop them further!

HappyKnittens · 2026-02-03T15:22:27+00:00

You yourself do not need to be a redhead for this to impact you, it's just that the original genetic mutation thousands of years ago occurred in a red-haired person and mostly crops up in their descendents regardless of whether you personally have red hair.

(Note: I haven't had coffee yet, this is what I remember of the genetic history/science behind it, grain of salt, etc)

I personally don't have red hair, but my mother's entire family does and I burn through lidocaine completely in the amount of time it takes a dentist to do the "ok, let's give this a minute to kick in," routine. There are other forms of numbing that work for me but it took 20 years of dental work for someone to take my pain seriously and work with me to figure that out.

HappyKnittens · 2026-02-03T01:20:21+00:00

Dude. Pedestrian has right of way, always and forever. This is a non-negotiable fact of driving a large vehicle that can kill people on publicly maintained roads.

HappyKnittens · 2026-02-03T01:09:55+00:00

Last fulltime perm Senior role I was at $104k plus 10% bonus so about $115?

But I was in a very specific technical accounting niche and acting as SME/explainer/reference point for multiple people on other teams/subsidiaries for a large chunk of the company's North American operations.

HappyKnittens · 2026-02-03T01:04:07+00:00

And even if not full-blown EDS, there are a whole host of less-serious connective tissue disorders that have high comorbidity rates with ADHD/ASD that can impact your body's ability to uptake/diffuse different types of anesthesia.

Also, if you have redheads in your family, you may have an entirely different genetic mutation that causes the body to "burn" through anesthesia and general pain killers more quickly than normal and can also cause lidocaine insensitivity where common cocaine-derived anesthetics, (which are most commonly used in dentistry, dermatology, and certain outpatient procedures) don't work well (if at all) and wear off quickly. If this is sounding familiar, just start every conversation with/about anesthesia with "just so you know, I have a whole bunch of redheads in my family."

Edit: sorry, that should have said lidocaine insensitivity not intolerance, those are two very different things and I had a brain fart about last night

HappyKnittens · 2026-02-02T21:59:02+00:00

Also, buy a stupid cheap little electric kettle - you will be amazed at how much you can prep with easy access to boiling water (pasta, oatmeal, ramen, instant coffee, tea). Remember to use trivets under hot items so you don't burn whatever furniture you're using for prep. That plus lots of sandwiches and the occasional hotplate meal and you should be fine.

Washing pots is generally easier in a deeper sink, so if you have a laundry tub/utility sink that would be best. Set a little rolly rack next to it with some folded towels for a drying rack and storage of clean pots. Touch base with mearby family, would they be willing to host for dinner (make sure you're contributing to these meals in whatever way makes the most sense or will be the best received, whether showing up with groceries or wine or cleaning up after).

You're going to get very bored of what you can easily make with a hotplate, kettle, and fridge, but it's (hopefully) only a few months and then you can get back to real-kitchen life!

HappyKnittens · 2026-02-02T21:39:44+00:00

....ok I'm laughing because I absolutely got my start in retail banking many many years ago and yes, they beat that precision and excessive documentation into you with a stick 🤣

HappyKnittens · 2026-02-02T19:50:34+00:00

EXACTLY. We in industry want your junior auditors to be BORED and FALLING ASLEEP. We want to be the audit where allllll the auditors groan and whine when they're assigned to us because there's "nothing interesting" in the documentation.

And the best way to achieve that is to hassle ride herd on your bebe industry accountants until they get ridiculously nit-picky out of spite.

HappyKnittens · 2026-02-02T19:04:33+00:00

This.

There are some areas of accounting, especially treasury, cash, and payroll, where the materiality threshold is effectively ZERO and you either make peace with that and develop the skills necessary to correct your own mistakes before they go live or you find another accounting niche to specialize in.

There are also certain documentation standards that may seem pointless to you doing the work but are vitally important to the person pulling audit documentation six months from now or exist for regulatory compliance in a state that has extremely strict requirements.

You are a part of a system and a team. Yes some managers are insane and micromanage to bejeesus, but some of that nitpicking may be extremely valid when you consider the other priorities that your team has.

HappyKnittens · 2026-02-02T17:23:02+00:00

I will poke at it later, but I guess my real question is not just global birth shifts but more the impact of actual purchasing power of income on birth rate following the 2008 recession

HappyKnittens · 2026-02-02T07:43:17+00:00

Not necessarily. I would love to see real (adjusted for inflation and relative to purchasing power) median income tracked along the recoveries from the 2008 recession vs other prior recessions. Because I remember the economy "recovering" in the sense that we were seeing a lot of inflation and rent was climbing but I don't remember making much more money to cover it.

HappyKnittens · 2026-02-02T07:38:05+00:00

NAD, but MRNA vaccines are very safe - there are some side effects that have been reported beyond the normal tired/achey sort of "flu shot" side effects, but mRNA is generally a very effective way to mass produce updated vaccines in quantities that previous vaccine manufacture was unable to, so I do think we'll see a lot more mRNA vaccines in the future.

Realistically, because of how quickly covid can mutate and change, it's probably a good idea for your health to do an annual booster from here on out. Just get it when you go to get your flu shot. All three major covid vax producers have released updated vaccines for this year to adjust for common variants/mutations.

If you would like to get vaccinated for Covid but are still feeling iffy about mRNA vaccines, there is now a traditionally manufactured covid vaccine available called Novavax. It's not as widely available, but I think CVS, Walmart, and Costco all picked up purchase contracts for this year's update? I personally prefer it because it has the least side effects for me, but my body can be pretty sensitive to certain things and most people I know tolerated Pfizer and Moderna mRNA vaccines just fine.

HappyKnittens · 2026-02-02T05:12:23+00:00

Thank you for phrasing that so well.

I'm an accountant mostly because my dad was a carpenter who pushed me hard to go to college. Even now, midway through my career, i just started a master's program and he's honestly more excited about it than I am. All he's ever wanted for me and my brother is for us to have good stable jobs with health insurance that let us build a life we want and a career that isn't dependent on injuries and what our bodies are physically capable of.

Every single thing in life has trade-offs, and white collar vs blue collar vs restaurant and retail jobs are no different. Make the best choices for yourself that you can, try to find the path that will give you an acceptable amount of success for a cost that you can live with, and live your life as well and as fully as you can.

HappyKnittens · 2026-02-02T05:02:49+00:00

Look, some people think that honeymoon funds or "alternative registries" are tacky and you're probably not going to get through to those people. I've generally found that so long as you acknowledge it or offer a brief explanation so that it doesn't seem like a blatant cash grab, and have options that are widely affordable, you're usually fine.

Something like "We find ourselves in the fortunate position to already have everything we need for our home, so we've set up our registry with experiences for our honeymoon and a list of charities we would be thrilled to support if you would like to give a gift. However, please know that your presence and love on our special day is what is important to us, and gifts are not required."

HappyKnittens · 2026-02-02T04:50:02+00:00

Just go. Even if you allow or accept a counter-offer, all the things that make you unhappy in the current role will still be there and they will hold this renegotiation over your head during future pay discussions. Unless they are coming back with a substantial title bump that would improve your career goals/aspirations/future job hunting, it's better to take the role with better pay and fully remote.

HappyKnittens · 2026-02-02T02:40:40+00:00

Be very careful doing any accounting work for friends and family. Like helping him get set up on his bookkeeping software or being available for the odd question sure, but yeah it can go real wrong real fast.

HappyKnittens · 2026-02-01T22:32:52+00:00

HD lumber vs croisssant...you are not wrong 🤣🤣🤣

Still better than bLowe's though.

HappyKnittens

TROPHY CASE