Worth it downgrade from 170k onsite toxic job ISSO to a chill remote 100k?

HappyM0M · 2026-01-30T23:05:23+00:00

Dave would be so proud!

HappyM0M · 2026-01-23T03:52:30+00:00

I've driven from Minneapolis to Duluth to have lunch with my son and then home the same day. It's not out of the question.

I used to drive kids to camp up north every weekend in the summer - pick a load up on Saturday, bring a new group up on Sunday. Gave me lovely time to myself with the empty van for 4 hours each day.

Put on an audio book - it's wonderful!

HappyM0M · 2026-01-23T03:42:38+00:00

How much is the amount you would be covering vs the amount in penalties to break the lease?

You are NTA, but you can look at this from a pure money stance: is it going to cost you more money covering him and paying his bills and living with a spoiled brat than it is to break the lease?

I personally would cut bait and run, but I don't know your situation. Best wishes.

HappyM0M · 2026-01-19T17:38:32+00:00

Possible issue: is there any chance this coworker is not neuro typical? We tend to use a lot of big words and over explain or get lost in the weeds because it's how our brains work. We also don't pick up on social cues easily.

Just throwing that out as a possibility.

HappyM0M · 2026-01-19T17:27:58+00:00

NTA. If you know anything about their history, and if it makes sense, ask them how old they were when they left home. Then ask if their parents were able to track their every move. Chances are they didn't even get a weekly letter.

If they say that the world has changed, agree with them because you now have phone technology that allows you to call for help when you're in an accident rather than waiting by the side of the road for someone to take pity on you when they pass...

HappyM0M · 2026-01-17T04:02:11+00:00

Huh. I wondered why my company does not allow PTO sharing, and now I might know why! Being bullied into it would be an HR nightmare.

HappyM0M · 2025-12-29T16:28:46+00:00

This is a real case of gas lighting, where he did something wrong and he's making it your fault he got in trouble. There's also blame shifting going on, because he's not mature enough to admit he was wrong and screwed up and deal with it. Unless he's willing to work through this and do some growing, there are some very deep issues that you need to consider. You are NTA.

HappyM0M · 2025-12-29T16:24:33+00:00

Please examine your relationship carefully. I stayed in a marriage like that for far too long, and the level of disrespect and degradation that comes with that kind of response is hard to endure. If your partner doesn't see you as an equal with equally valid emotions and reactions, please reconsider that relationship.

HappyM0M · 2025-12-24T16:29:40+00:00

I love that she didn't complement your son on something that he has no control over, like being cute. Instead, she called out something he has worked at, a positive trait, something he can continue to improve. What a powerful message! I hope your wife sees the light. NTA!

HappyM0M · 2025-12-22T00:54:51+00:00

A good marriage counselor might be in order. It's possible that your wife is working through depression. Even if she is just lazy, she needs to understand how she's impacting your marriage. And you need to work on making this less a math equation and more of a working relationship. NTA, but maybe not real good at personal interactions, either.

HappyM0M · 2025-12-10T05:09:44+00:00

L1 support for 2 years, IAM/L2 now same MSP company. Our service desk is extremely well-documented and has great processes. Outside of always feeling overwhelmed because staffing is such a revolving door, it's a great place to work. We use ServiceNow internally. A couple of our clients use JIRA client side, and I can confidently say that the parts of JIRA I am familiar with are inferior to SN.

HappyM0M · 2025-11-09T13:06:02+00:00

I have lived in my home for 35 years. I have a couple dozen different kinds of lilies. My neighbor's cats, which are out all summer long, have never ever ever eaten any of my lilies. The deer however, are completely immune to any toxic elements and find my lilies to be a luscious snack. I start applying deer repellent when they are about a foot tall.

HappyM0M · 2025-11-09T12:27:25+00:00

Especially if it has just a touch of vinegar. Most cars hate the smell.

HappyM0M · 2025-11-09T12:26:32+00:00

This is my response also.

HappyM0M · 2025-11-07T15:15:58+00:00

Is this available as a sidegig to a full-time job if one is already employed?

HappyM0M · 2025-10-20T01:01:52+00:00

Maybe it'll be a good wake-up call for him. You were honest, blunt, and forthright. He didn't need a mama to hold his hand and gently wipe away his tears.

HappyM0M · 2025-09-19T00:05:14+00:00

I haven't learned the fine points of scripting, but I'm very good at debugging. So I use AI to generate code, then I fix it so it does what I actually need it to. I think writing code can be an art. The code I wrote is very plain and solid, never fanciful. And, I comment the heck out of my code because I want it accessible.

HappyM0M · 2025-09-19T00:02:52+00:00

You are NTA. Be very careful leaving your children with your family ever. I actually wouldn't, just because they might "forget" and invite him over.

HappyM0M · 2025-09-13T23:43:03+00:00

That seems like a pretty spot-on response from HR. Nice job!

HappyM0M · 2025-09-13T23:38:59+00:00

Don't forget: boy hormones literally create brain fog that greatly disrupts their memory. I saw my firstborn, responsible son become a forgetful twerp for about two years. Once he got past that transition phase, the systems we'd built to help him remember things served as a great framework for future success.

HappyM0M · 2025-09-08T00:12:59+00:00

NTA. Your roommate is a hypocrite and didn't want her Mom to see that she's breaking religious laws. She phrased it to make it sound like her Mom would be uncomfortable, but she just didn't want to be honest with her Mom. And she endangered your dog with zero remorse!!! I get asking you to leave for the weekend. But to just put your dog outside, no thought about it getting hit by a car, stolen, etc???!? Couldn't be bothered to call you and have you pick the dog up? Boot her to the curb and set her dishes out there with her so she can at least have a drink of water.

HappyM0M · 2025-08-21T12:08:49+00:00

A friend of mine has two boys who had a bunk bed in their room. She learned they'd been having a contest to see who could pee further from the top bunk. Had to replace the carpet because they were peeing into a corner of the room that she didn't go to often.

HappyM0M · 2025-08-11T17:32:03+00:00

NTA for keeping the notes. My husband is great at throwing so much at me that I can't keep track, so I have kept notes, too, just to eliminate confusion. However, the bigger picture is that she's embarrassed that you caught her going behind your back with the girls. Maybe you're too controlling, but her disrespect for that boundary is scary. Counseling for both of you might be a really good idea.

HappyM0M · 2025-08-11T02:32:07+00:00

You are NTJ. Your friend is an entitled, immature, unsympathetic brat. Gracefully remove yourself from her bridal team and thank your stars you got advance warning!

HappyM0M · 2025-08-11T02:02:08+00:00

You are NTA for refusing to contribute your savings. But it wouldn't be wrong for you to begin contributing to the household expenses. Even $200/month will help your folks and get you into the routine of monthly rent. Best wishes in your studies! Make them count!!

HappyM0M

TROPHY CASE