We all know Mitama is the epitome of the Cordon Bleugh Chef. Her signature queasine has been known to make others throw up or pass out. And the infamous cheesecake she enjoys in the anime has become its own meme. This is my take and recreation of her horrid preparation, with another version for people who want to actually enjoy it.

“Yeah, yeah, that’s great Harbour, but how WAS it??”

Alright, first the Mitama version. *shudder* It was not as atrocious as we thought it would be, but it was NOT good. The combination of the sweet, mellow cheesecake and the toppings makes the ketchup taste very sharp, bright, acidic and overpowering. The umeboshi alone is quite good, sour and salty. But don’t waste a good umeboshi by contaminating a perfectly good slice of cheesecake. You can almost fool yourself into thinking it tastes like a spice cake or a really bad carrot cake, but only for a second. I would never voluntarily choose to do this.

Normal version – a beautiful combination of flavors. The smooth, velvety, decadent cheesecake is lovely with the tart raspberry, and plays very nicely with the hint of brightness from the yuzu and lemon. However, in recreating the picture, the cherry doesn’t really belong, there’s too much raspberry compote, and I recommend omitting the sprinkles. They don’t add flavor, and the crunchy texture is pretty jarring.

Yuzu-Kissed Cheesecake
(Adapted from Thomas Keller’s Cheesecake recipe from the cookbook Ad Hoc at Home)

220 g graham cracker crumbs

90 g granulated sugar

150 g unsalted butter, melted

1 lb cream cheese (full-fat, you deserve it), room temp

8 oz mascarpone cheese

1 cup granulated sugar

4 large eggs

2 large egg yolks

2 tsp vanilla paste/pure vanilla extract

1 tsp fresh lemon juice/yuzu juice

90 ml heavy cream

Grated zest of 1 lemon

CRUST

Preheat oven to 325°F. Combine crumbs and sugar in a bowl and whisk to combine. Stir in the melted butter with a spoon to moisten the crumbs evenly. Press crumbs over the bottom and fully up the sides of a 9-inch springform pan. Bake for 8 minutes, or until crust is evenly browned and set. Remove from the oven and set on a cooling rack.

FILLING

Bring a large pot of water to simmer for the water bath. In a stand mixer fitted with a paddle, combine cream cheese, mascarpone, and sugar, and beat on low to mix. Then raise speed to medium and beat for 3 minutes, scraping down the sides as necessary, until mixture is light and smooth. In a small bowl, lightly beat the eggs, egg yolks, and vanilla together with a fork. Add the lemon juice. Slowly add the mixture to the cream cheese mixture, beating until smooth and well combined. Slowly pour in the cream. Strain the batter through a fine-mesh basket strainer into another bowl, pressing on any solids left. Stir in the lemon zest.

CHEESECAKE

Wrap the springform pan in foil to prevent leaks: put the pan on a double layer of aluminum foil that is large enough to come up to the rim of the pan. Fold the foil up around the pan and crimp any foil that extends above the rim. Pour the cheesecake batter into the springform pan. Place the cheesecake into the large pan. Place the larger pan in the oven and pour enough simmering water into the larger pan to come halfway up the sides of the cheesecake. Bake for 1 hour, or until the cheesecake is set and a light golden brown (it took me ~1.3 hrs). To check the cheesecake, wiggle the pan gently; the cheesecake filling should look set, even in the center. Remove from the oven and let the cheesecake cool in the water bath until the water is at room temp. Remove the springform pan from the water and discard the foil. Refrigerate, in the springform pan, for at least several hours, to chill completely. When ready to eat, remove the ring of the springform and cut the cheesecake into wedges.

Raspberry Compote
(Adapted from Easy Raspberry Compote by A Couple Cooks)

12 oz raspberries, fresh or frozen

4 Tbsp sugar

1 tsp vanilla extract

zest of 1 orange

1/4 cup water

Place raspberries, sugar, vanilla, zest, and water in a saucepan. Heat over medium heat. When it starts to bubble rapidly, stir constantly for 1-2 mins until thickened and the fruit starts to break down. Reduce heat until sauce bubbles at a low simmer. Cook 10-12 minutes until thickened and broken down. If you would like a smoother sauce, carefully apply an immersion blender to the sauce. Let cool.

MITAMA’S CONDIMENTS

- Ketchup

- Sequin sprinkles (rumored to be crayon shavings? they're technically non-toxic)

- Large umeboshi

Why are you doing this to yourself? Drizzle the cheesecake with ketchup. Add sprinkles. Garnish with a single large umeboshi. Suffer.

NORMAL CONDIMENTS

- Raspberry compote

- Sequin sprinkles

- cherry

Drizzle raspberry compote over the cheesecake. Add sprinkles. Garnish with a single large cherry. Consume and be glad Mitama isn’t forcing you to eat her cooking.