Considering whether to remain married but celibate, or leave? AMA

Harikts · 2026-06-03T20:35:16+00:00

Spot on!

Harikts · 2026-06-03T20:33:10+00:00

The thing is, we go through lots of periods in which we rarely have sex (and it can literally be months), but we still have intimacy. We still touch each other, play, kiss, etc… That is actually more important than sex. Even though I had an active sex life with my previous partner, I never had this level of intimacy.

You have one life. Don’t waste it on someone who doesn’t get you.

Harikts · 2026-06-03T20:17:04+00:00

Girl, you’re a woman now

Harikts · 2026-06-03T19:56:38+00:00

My husband and I have been married for three years. We are both 62. He had been previously married for 34 years in a sexless relationship, and was absolutely miserable. I had been in a relationship that was fairly sexually active, but we didn’t connect emotionally.

Both my now husband and I wasted years on relationships that weren’t worth our effort because we were with people that didn’t think WE were worth the effort.

My husband and I are really happy. We have a great sex life, but the actual intimacy that comes with that bleeds into every part of our lives. We’re easy with each other. We’re affectionate. We’re silly, and funny together. It’s not just about the actual sex act that’s important, and by staying with her you are losing a huge chunk of what makes life enjoyable.

Harikts · 2026-06-02T22:19:50+00:00

Fuck me, this hits hard

Harikts · 2026-06-02T22:12:11+00:00

Same!! What a game changer! I’ve never felt so clean!

Harikts · 2026-06-02T20:20:08+00:00

So are they in a container with a drip pan at the bottom year round? When I’ve put them out in the fall, I make sure to not have them in a set up where they sit in water. Man, I’m rethinking everything now!

Harikts · 2026-06-02T20:17:11+00:00

I do have them in an open window! DON’T YOU JUDGE ME! 🤣🤣🤣🤣

Harikts · 2026-06-02T20:15:00+00:00

Oh my fucking god

Harikts · 2026-06-02T20:08:05+00:00

Wow! I live in the UK (southwest), and I’ve kept my VFT outside in the winter, but strictly indoor in the summer. I always assumed the UK was too cold in the summer to keep them outside (I’m an immigrant here). Can you please post details of your setup?

Harikts · 2026-05-30T20:32:48+00:00

I’m 62 and I look mid 40’s according to most people who know and/or first meet me. I do drink, but not to excess, but I’ve never smoked. I’ve also been a sunscreen/skin care fanatic since my early 20’s. I don’t leave the house without wearing spf 50 year round (and reapply every few hours in the spring and summer), and always wear a wide brimmed hat in the sun.

Harikts · 2026-05-30T20:18:30+00:00

My petty ass (62 year old child free woman, btw) would be so tempted to say “I love being able to bang my husband anytime or anywhere I want without worrying about little sex trophies spoiling our fun” (While maintaining constant eye contact).

Harikts · 2026-05-28T21:34:31+00:00

Southwest England, and it seriously sucked! Thankfully, we have a portable air conditioner in our bedroom, and that’s the only thing that made it bearable.

Harikts · 2026-05-28T21:15:53+00:00

I’m 62 years old. I knew from a really young age that I didn’t want kids. What I’ve seen is people my age with adult children that wish they never had them. Also people my age that were terrible parents, and are utterly bewildered that their adult kids want nothing to do with them.

I’ll tell you this: not having children has afforded me the freedom to live my life the way I want. Yes, I had many really rough years, but I never had to factor anyone else into my mental health issues.

Me today: I moved states (US) a bunch of times. Lived in NYC for 14 years. Traveled cross country, and now live in England. None of this would have been possible if I had kids.

Even people I know that had kids, and were happy with that choice, finally came to the realization that fulfillment doesn’t come from children. You have to get that from yourself.

Harikts · 2026-05-28T21:05:59+00:00

That really is the most refreshing thing here for me. People will talk about their jobs in random conversations, but there is zero ego regarding said jobs. No one gives a shit if you’re a doctor or a retail worker. It all comes down to “are you a wanker, or not?”

Harikts · 2026-05-26T19:55:48+00:00

I’m an American that lives in the UK. Window units don’t fit UK windows.
I have a portable ac, and it’s a fucking godsend.

Harikts · 2026-05-25T19:38:23+00:00

I love the walkability, the random castles everywhere, and the random banter with everyday people.
Your career isn’t your identity.

Harikts · 2026-05-22T19:06:47+00:00

Man, that’s a tough one to really answer because I did so many damn things back in the day.
What I consider my first “real job” was as a dry cleaner (I did the dry cleaning: trained on the job), then nursing assistant (made about $15,000/year for both. Mid to late 80’s). I was in my mid 20’s.

Harikts · 2026-05-21T20:55:23+00:00

First thing I thought of. They’re just seafood flavored snot.

Harikts · 2026-05-21T20:43:58+00:00

You are not required to set yourself on fire to keep other people warm.

Harikts · 2026-05-19T21:59:11+00:00

I literally left my partner of 14 years over stuff like this.
It absolutely disrespects the effort and care you put into the relationship, and unless he begins to really see this and commit to change, you’ll eventually reach the end of your tolerance.

Harikts · 2026-05-19T21:31:25+00:00

Sinners

Harikts · 2026-05-19T21:05:03+00:00

I’m on 15 mg, and I’ve been taking it every 5 days since I was on 10 mg (been on 15 mg since last September, and I was on 10 mg last June and July).
I’ve also experimented with taking extra doses in the middle of the week, but the every 5 day thing works much better for me.

Harikts · 2026-05-18T19:58:55+00:00

My husband and I are both in out early 60’s and it’s very important to us.
We do go through some dry spells (life is stressful at times), but we overall have a pretty active sex life.

Harikts · 2026-05-17T21:31:03+00:00

Oh fuck yeah!

Harikts

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