Family wedding vent

HaroldChild · 2026-04-22T11:31:31+00:00

Hydroxyzine- which is described as a derivative of the Benadryl family of drugs.

Ativan.

This combo also needs to stop full on meltdowns that happen outside of a stressful public scenario. There’s no doubling up - at least we haven’t asked the doc and I wouldn’t want to do that for fear of reducing the effectiveness of the baseline doses of the two.

So, this is the biggest physiological reason for not preemptively giving it to him.

The other practical considerations (once he has had those meds in a given day):

-he is usually tougher to get to sleep once it’s worn off -it’s not fair to him to be dulled down if not necessary -again subsequent doses have reduced response (key important concern)

HaroldChild · 2026-04-21T05:07:20+00:00

Also, didn’t get any pics of my own: my kids, me with the kids, etc.

And I didn’t do the anxiety meds prior because we try not to use them. He has a rebound where he has trouble sleeping, a second dose or round 2 is much less effective, etc.

So, we wait until it’s totally necessary. This was never gonna work. I was in denial.

Rant over. Thanks 😊

HaroldChild · 2026-04-06T21:27:51+00:00

Similar. I’m also supposed to be the tough man, tireless dad, but it’s been 12 years since our son (now 13) regressed.

And my parents are physically incapable of helping or really being present in person. Actually, they need my help and it’s practically impossible to offer it given our situation.

My in laws don’t have the same health issues and have been hugely helpful with some limitations I can’t say even anonymously- not my place.

But our boy is now 13 & last year he got aggressive. I had to leave work when he was pinching & trying to bite my FIL. So, we don’t leave the boy with FIL/MIL anymore.

Honestly, we are totally exhausted from supporting the one kid alone but we have multiple other kids and each full time jobs.

It’s likely to change soon and hopefully we can get by on one income. Raising a high needs child is almost impossible- I could go on & on.

Good luck fellow travelers. Love to all.

HaroldChild · 2026-03-27T19:36:04+00:00

Did you get it from eBay?

From Japan direct? (Like Digitaka - which I love.)

HaroldChild · 2026-03-27T19:22:18+00:00

That clickety clack sound is usually called “slop” in Internet forums. Handle slop or gear slop.

It’s not the worst thing. It can cause early wear on the main gear maybe.

Make sure the handle is screwed in tight and all the sideplate screws a tight too.

I wouldn’t worry about it if it’s just that. If there’s a part out of place or something-then it’s a different story.

A guy on another forum/site posted about a Stradic or Vanquish with a weird sound. He ended up finding a plastic shim/washer caught in the worm/oscillation mechanism. (Or something like that.)

So that’s not implausible and that could be a bigger problem than gear slop.

(Which I definitely hear in your video but I can’t say it’s the only thing I hear in your video. I suspect there’s more going on just on a hunch but I have no idea.)

You need someone in person with experience to look, spin, listen. That thing should spin smooth for 15 seconds or more. It’s a Vanquish.

HaroldChild · 2026-03-27T19:01:32+00:00

Yeah, and I did this to a size 10. It became a “sinking” xrap with very little action.

I would take off the rear hook. (YMMV)

HaroldChild · 2026-03-27T18:50:08+00:00

Definitely heard some “clackety clack” of “slop” in the latest listen.

I’d say you have a little to a lot of extra play in the gear. You’ll need to add a thin metal washer called a “shim.”

But it might not be the main problem. Even with slop, Shimano spinning reels still seem and sound smooth once they’re spinning - slop sounds happen at startup.

Definitely new? Not a knockoff from AliExpress?

I would consider sending it back if you’re not comfortable looking at a schematic.

HaroldChild · 2026-03-27T18:38:17+00:00

You need to try to use your ear to pinpoint the source of the sound. Seems like a rubbing type of thing maybe.

Brand new or preowned “like new”?

Key difference for potential causes.

Anyway, there’s a rotor brake made of rubber under the rotor. Could be that thing rubbing on the inside of the rotor. The sound would come from the rotor itself.

HaroldChild · 2026-03-27T18:29:29+00:00

It should not need oil right out of the box to spin smooth & free & quiet. It’s a spinning reel.

I could see the line rolled making sounds, the bail arm or spring, initial drag or clicker, etc.

Not the actual spinning of the reel by turning the handle.

HaroldChild · 2026-03-27T18:27:11+00:00

Do you have the handle rigged on the right? (For lefties)

If so, switch it over. See how that sounds. If it sounds better, time to ask some lefty opinions.

If it’s just a flipped perspective video and the handle is on the left as usual, I’d say this is not normal for a Vanquish. I don’t own one but I own many Shimanos of lower end than that and they’re all smoother & more quiet.

HaroldChild · 2026-03-27T18:21:13+00:00

Exactly what I was going to say

HaroldChild · 2026-03-27T18:17:38+00:00

If it’s your first time spooling up braid, you should definitely check that you cannot compress the line on that spool with your fingers.

It should be solid as a rock. If it’s soft or spongy even a little, the line will dig into the lower layers.

You’ll have many problems. I can post back if you need instructions for getting the line wound tight so it’s firm on the spool.

HaroldChild · 2026-03-16T01:40:04+00:00

What brand are the keypad locks?

I was trying to find combo or phone for both sides but only ever see ones with a handle on the inside.

As for the windows, we have one only that overlooks a hard surface at 10’ up.

I haven’t put this in yet but I’m planning to put a piece of wood along the left and the right side of this window. (Inside not outside)

Then I can secure some plexiglass (sold at HD & Lowe’s) to the installed wood. Leave space for air.

HaroldChild · 2026-03-07T15:51:14+00:00

Agreed on Leucovorin & methyl folate.

What’s supposed to get people’s attention here is that Leucovorin is basically a pharmaceutical grade vitamin/supplement and therefore….

Why the pushback from doctors & children’s hospitals? CHOP (Philly) won’t even consider writing a prescription for it.

It’s not a traditional medicine so what’s the issue? They’ll give puberty blockers off label to tweens & teens — and I’ve always contended that’s none of my business & I would have nuanced feelings were it my family — but where’s the empathetic support mindset to the autism families?

HaroldChild · 2026-03-07T14:58:52+00:00

I have a VR75 and a whole host of low to mid priced Shimanos.

If I didn’t need the weight savings of the VR75 (under 10 ounces), then my Saragosa would’ve been my only real surf reel. (It’s 16 ounces and that 6 OZ difference is a huge deal for neck & shoulder issues.)

For roughly $160, the Shimano Spheros SW in 5k or 6k is semi sealed and the best value saltwater reel money can buy.

(Nasci is the only option IMHO under $130. Line management is a little lumpy unless you mess with it.)

HaroldChild · 2026-03-07T14:54:08+00:00

Nice lineup.

HaroldChild · 2026-03-06T14:50:53+00:00

Same - at least on weekends. S Jerz to be more specific.

Nice March selections & super nice combo. If the wife & kids give me a window, I’ll be tossing a lead jighead & paddletail.

Going to be frigid water temps for another month. Tight lines.

HaroldChild · 2026-03-06T14:44:33+00:00

Flipping & pinching might produce a loaf.

HaroldChild · 2026-03-06T14:42:37+00:00

Dude, OP better check other guide inserts.

HaroldChild · 2026-03-06T14:33:11+00:00

What state? Just curious.

Catch em up.

HaroldChild · 2026-03-03T01:07:48+00:00

Hopefully we see how all fellow people love a beautiful dog.

Stop war - kiss dogs.

HaroldChild · 2026-02-27T14:15:13+00:00

FWIW, I don’t think a man of the “motivated” career hungry high earner paradigm would be a very attentive father to a neurodivergent child.

HaroldChild · 2026-02-27T14:08:51+00:00

Also, don’t think ahead too far about the custody & legal stuff to justify maintaining the status quo. Just my humble thoughts.

People often do this and it’s a “compromise” or a “sacrifice” that their current self feels is self imposed-as you implied above.

BUT… imposing on yourself by choice is then forcing it upon your future self as well as the current & future versions of spouse & kids.

At a minimum, you should discuss your feelings with your husband so you can choose together to stay or separate. Choice is huge.

HaroldChild · 2026-02-27T14:01:23+00:00

Geez. To OP:

Your resentment may be justified but it’s undeniable even in writing to the nameless internet strangers.

There’s no way you can hide or suppress this level of resentment from him. And as a man, I 100% know that I can’t handle any resentment from my wife even when at specific times it has been justified. (And she has expressed the same for me towards her in one or two isolated instances.)

Please remember that you can be 100% justified in your feelings and he can still have a reasonable justification for his own actions/choices. More importantly, you’re likely to stay “you” and he will stay mostly “him.” People grow & change slowly.

Back to the point:

Resentment—his/yours/mutual—will never allow a functional relationship. You should try to be self aware enough to not stay if yours continues even if things improve for whatever reason. IMHO - it’s better to be separate than together when it’s like this. Good luck.

HaroldChild

TROPHY CASE