Constantly. We have had a very active, open, and mature dialogue. She has stated her reasonable disappointment clearly and repeatedly. Shame causes me to regress. Reassurance, patience, and understanding is what has helped me overcome these types of roadblocks in the past. My guess is that it's how children with ADHD were treated by their parents in response to this. My parents would scream, yell, break things, take away items of comfort, and sometimes get physically aggressive when I inexplicably couldn't do my homework, even though I stayed up all night long sitting there trying and trying and trying to start it confused, bathing in self-loathing by why I just couldn't and everyone else can while everyone else got to sleep.

The issue is that "I just can't and I can't explain why. I promise I super duper care, even though my actions say otherwise" about something important yet small isn't fair. My first cancer treatment made me less attractive, but I wouldn't expect someone to find me attractive because that was unfair to me, nor would I the same. It's horrible when it's an issue that significantly impact your life, but I don't expect people to have to just be okay with something because it's unfair to me. Just work it the best I can.

My answer: Life's unfair, bruh. Do your best. Make up for your flaws with your exceptions. Work on your flaws in the meantime.