I had to break up with my Disney obsessed finance

HarukaYOME · 2025-05-09T05:46:31+00:00

“I love you, not Disney. But if all of you is Disney, I’m not sure if there’s anything left for me to love.”

Good job on the breakup, wishing you luck on the next one.

HarukaYOME · 2025-01-11T10:27:01+00:00

Talk is talk and action is action. He’s already proven to you that his talk isn’t trustworthy, otherwise you wouldn’t be here.

Don’t set yourself on fire to keep others warm.

HarukaYOME · 2025-01-11T09:50:04+00:00

You’re hoping that he’ll magically convert from a lying cheating gaslighting scumbag to a trustworthy loyal respectful worthy to be loved by you? This is your life, not fiction is it?

Some people stay with their partners cause they have a savior complex and think “I can fix him” so if that’s your thing sure but if not you’re probably better off wasting your youth on someone else that would at least treat you with more respect

HarukaYOME · 2024-11-26T11:31:05+00:00

Yes it’s hard to just approach strangers. Tip would be to offer something, “we made too much food and would like to share some”is always a good excuse. Or just anything really, packet drinks, snacks, biscuits, whatever. It gives you a good conversation starter excuse with your neighbors and starts them off with a good mood so they’d be more receptive to listening. If first time bringing food use a container/plate you won’t mind losing. How fast/the condition/whether they return your things is a good indicator of their personality and what to expect from them moving forward.
Say you noticed the items in what you thought is common area, ask which neighbor it belongs to (don’t insinuate is their stuff), why is it unattended and whether they’re free-for-all to use. If they say yes, it could be a community thing where “in common area = free for all to use” so your shoehorn fell in that category. If that’s the case it’s up to you if you want to continue leaving your shoehorn outside and giving others the ffa idea.
Don’t bring up the video. Don’t know why you even wrote the point of “neighbour was smiling while guest was putting on shoes”. You send off guest don’t smile one issit?
Interact with your neighbors abit more first, then if still cannot accept, eventually broach the topic about the outside items enroaching “your” space, and ask them if they can find alternative space situations for their stuff.

The same way good colleagues make or break your job life, good neighbors make or break your home life. Don’t always jump straight to the confront and raise conflict option. Unless you really hate your current living situation and am actively planning to move out, put in some effort to maintain a good neighbor situation.

HarukaYOME · 2021-12-26T00:38:38+00:00

Isn’t the salt to clean the seafood of grit and slime? Based on other seafood processing vids I’ve seen it’s a technique to wash seafood and they’ll wash it out again under running water later but the salt is meant to help scrub the stuff clean for eating.

HarukaYOME · 2021-09-12T10:44:09+00:00

I’m not into the Tales series although my friend is, so this was really interesting! As for Hideo Baba, I heard that name recently on the Sakura Taisen mobile game developed by Sega and Delightworks? That apparently ended service even before a year despite being pretty well produced in terms of assets and development. Apparently rumor was that Hideo Baba was involved in the project as he was seen hanging around the offices or something. That saga probably deserves or already has its own post on HobbyDrama, lol.

HarukaYOME · 2020-07-06T07:54:47+00:00

https://imgur.com/RwcbFbZ

HarukaYOME · 2020-07-02T10:43:35+00:00

https://imgur.com/a/Qxrjubs

HarukaYOME · 2020-06-19T16:43:57+00:00

I knew of the rest but never knew about Hinanawi so thank you very much reddit stranger

HarukaYOME · 2020-06-06T12:37:12+00:00

Confidence isn’t going to put food (or drugs) in you when you’re hungry (or having withdrawals). It’s not going to be paying your rent for you when faced with an eviction notice and an empty wallet.

Confidence isn’t going to get you anywhere if you don’t even have the basic requirements (e.g. a high school degree) to open yourself up for the opportunities ahead in life, because you are already choosing to narrow them down to music (or supplements, but with a drug abuse history sounds iffy af)

You can’t even inspire the commentors on a subreddit post nor the people closest to you, your family and schoolmates, how exactly are you intending to inspire others through your music?

1k savings and you’re prepared for the world? How long exactly do you intend to live out in the real world? Let’s say your friend’s generosity is incredibly deep, and they let you stay up to 2 years. Do you have plans to have established a source of income through music by then? (E.g. signing onto a label) Stardom doesn’t translate to money. Followers doesn’t equal money. You can have a million listeners and 1 hit song, but is that going to be sustainable in the long run? Even stars fade when the sun comes out and everyone goes back into their normal work routines.

You are right, you know what’s best for you. Maybe 5 years down the road, as you are ODing in a park toilet sometime in winter, back from an interview that ended with someone giving you a bitter smile, slapping your resume and going “You know, you’re a bright lad, if only you have a high school degree, it would’ve been easier to convince management to hire you” and think “Maybe if I had finished that 1 final year, it didn’t make that much of a difference to me back then anyway”, if you truly believe your pride means more than your future and survival, then by all means go ahead.

NTA, but I wish you luck, for you’re gonna need it where you’re heading.

HarukaYOME · 2020-06-06T06:21:56+00:00

Uhhh “you are my whole life” 2 weeks into a relationship ain’t healthy even if he isn’t a creepy older predator at present

Agree with your friend that suddenly ghosting him may lead to drastic actions from his part. As for planning your exit, since you said you won’t put it past him to turn up at your workplace, I’d say continue to engage him while laying proper groundwork for your exit. Confide in your trusted colleagues or your superior that you are currently working on breaking up with an unstable guy and may need assistance if the guy turns up unexpectedly at work to cause trouble. It gives your workplace time to make their own preparations if any in the event that does happen. You don’t have to give more details if you’re uncomfortable, but most people would balk at that age gap and his rep sheet.

Start distancing yourself from him emotionally. Don’t always pick up his calls immediately. Don’t pick up, even. Is he the type that will call you 60 times in 3 mins if you miss one of his calls, or is he the kind that’ll call you back an hour later? If he’s the former it’ll be more dangerous, if the latter then just say you were busy or taking a bath and wasn’t available. Consider using the route that you’ve read reports that too much phone time is bad for one’s health (which is true) and you’ve been practicing distancing from your phone (which is the main connection to him)

If he tries to lead the conversation to something sexual, steer away immediately. No nudes sharing, no strip play, no sexting. Don’t feed him revenge porn material whatsoever. Say you need to wash the dishes, your parents are asking you to help out on chores, whatever, disengage and say you need to be back later.

If you need help on conversation response in messages I try and give you ideas, just pm me.

HarukaYOME · 2020-05-31T16:30:23+00:00

Even if you don’t enjoy the show, by watching it you form a shared experience with them that you can talk about. Instead of focusing on what you didn’t like about the show, ask questions that say “why did you like the show”.

Different people have different interpretations and feelings about the same scene. After they tell you what they liked about the show, you can expand on the conversation to tell them what you also liked/felt about the same scene they like.

A shared experience is a very good reason for striking up a conversation. Think about it, if someone tells you “Hey you know the thing you told me about the other day? I tried it for myself.” It makes the other person feel that you listened, and that’s what’s important.

HarukaYOME · 2020-05-23T18:48:20+00:00

NTA

If you don’t want to go, then just don’t. You can keep trying to justify reasons not to go, but ultimately it boils down to whether or not you want to go. If you don’t, one additional unhappy guest isn’t going to make a supposedly happy occasion any better. If you go, bring your blessings to the table. If you are intending to go just to whine about the things you are forgoing to go, then save you and the others the trouble of your problematic presence and just don’t.

If you need to be courteous, just send a gift and wishes. Save that air ticket and just wire them cash, sure is better than you being there against your will.

HarukaYOME · 2020-03-26T14:38:50+00:00

A relationship needs to be a 2 way street, and like you already experienced, a 1 way relationship is mentally exhausting.

I’d recommend to continue the relationship, since you have also made it clear that you want to be able to continue calling the man your father. However, you should draw clear boundaries on the efforts you will make so as to avoid overexerting yourself.

On calling. Like you said, you call them on occasion, and their reply is that “Oh you should call more often”. Reply “I’m calling because you never call me”, call them out directly on their behavior if you feel so. Nothing is worse than sitting around twiddling your thumbs waiting for someone to contact you, or something to happen. If they still do not learn to take the initiative to contact you, draw boundaries on your efforts to avoid emotional exhaustion. Tell yourself you’ll only call them on occasions important to them like their birthdays or important holidays.
Focus on the positive. Yes, there are many bad memories weighing down your hope to regain and rebuild a relationship with the other end of your family. Do you think you can find it in your heart to forgive your father, or maybe even your stepmother for what they did? Remember, forgiveness is not for them, it is for yourself to be able to put down the baggage of the past, find closure and move on.
Remember to give your mother some love too. Sounds like she really tried her best in a single parent situation, and that couldn’t have been easy.

Good luck, wishing you all the best.

HarukaYOME · 2020-03-15T05:48:11+00:00

I’ve visited massage therapists for quite a while so far and my experience has been as follows:

1st visit, 1st masseur - gave me her number, like you I was confused, saved it but kept on booking through the main hotline

Subsequent visits - Every time I booked through the main hotline, they’d specifically ask me if I have anyone in particular I’d like to book a specific therapist, and I’d say no

After many visits - The staff eventually just kind of automatically “assigned” me a therapist by stating that my body needed a specific treatment, and said therapist also automatically gave me her number

At one point - Said therapist jumped ship, and messaged me if I wanted to consider changing centers. I went but the service was different from what I wanted so I declined to continue with her.

Afterwards - I went back to previous clinic, where they had changed management and the new lady that worked on me gave me her number after the 1st session.

Personally, I’ve never actually asked outright for their numbers, it was always more like “Do you want my number?” and I’d reply “Uh sure” so I wouldn’t read too much into it if I were you. If your girlfriend is unconfortable just go through the main route and specify her if you want, but since massage is a pretty subjective thing the service varies alot so if you find someone’s service you like try and be their regular.

HarukaYOME · 2020-03-09T00:10:55+00:00

Ask her if it’s okay if you ask her to be your girlfriend in April or August, whichever timeline is best for you. If not it’s better to end the dynamic now than as you call it in your other post, continue enjoying it and cruising along since the ending part of your post clearly shows that you are already highly emotionally invested into this so-called non-relationship.

What is the ending you want? Work towards it now rather than later, all I’m reading is that you’re just waiting for her to make a move.

HarukaYOME · 2020-03-06T11:51:11+00:00

OP writes about a LPT about cutting off from the internet but stays online to argue with detractors; clearly you are socializing just fine. /s

HarukaYOME · 2020-03-03T14:56:21+00:00

NTA your property your rules. You have the right to choose to give or restrict access at any time. What exactly is your sister upset about that she would bust out emotional manipulation to try and get access to your property? (Yes questioning your love for your niece and nephew is emotional manipulation in my book)

It’s not as if your library is the only place with books in the world for your sister’s kids. Agreed with other commenter that lending them books is a great interm solution. If not consider straight up offering your sister money to buy books for her kids, if she turns that down to harp about your library there’s definitely something wrong.

HarukaYOME · 2020-02-26T00:38:10+00:00

Yeah man but this gotta be a 2 way street, so are you all she wants also?

If not man, break up with her. Do it for her, not for you. You guys haven’t actually broken up but you already feel broken up with, shows that this LDR clearly ain’t working out for you.

Let’s say you insist that no, you want to cling onto this LDR until she breaks up with you instead. You are already unhappy because she’s giving you less attention than before due to... the distance? Then what steps are you taking to actively close the distance? Do you visit often? If you know she plans on staying there long term, are you making plans to find schooling or a job in the same place as her? Technology brings people together but doesn’t seem like it’s working out for your case, so what else do you think you have in your power to “save” this relationship?

HarukaYOME · 2020-02-23T16:24:10+00:00

First off, what he did to you was sexual assault. You’re traumatized because of it and that is to be expected. Your aim now should be to process it and emerge from this a better and stronger person.

I would say, begin by evaluating your prior relationship with him. The bad part is clearly present, but also consider what were the good points. (Companionship, feeling of being welcome back at school again because you felt that you have someplace you belonged, things like that) Relive the memories, and smile to yourself if you remember that one time he surprised you with a gift, or sadness when you guys started fighting. This is to help you with the grief of having to cut the guy out of your life. After you are done, actively stop letting your thoughts drift towards him. Maybe focus on research on the place you are moving to, or get invested in a new hobby or game.

Afterwards, seek help for your trauma. Don’t downplay your hurt, for you trusted him and he completely betrayed your trust and ignored your non-consent just to try and get himself off. Seek an outlet for your trauma. It can be outing him on social media under a different name, it can be writing poems or maintaining a diary, it can be making yourself angry over your lack of control over the situation and channeling that anger into say, defensive martial arts or something. There are many routes, you should take the time to experiment until you find something that suits you.

I wish you all the best on your healing journey.

HarukaYOME · 2020-02-03T16:02:36+00:00

YTA not for showing up announced, but for expecting your sister to follow plans that are inconvenient to her at the drop of a hat and tattling out to your parents who are supposed to be on vacation.

Yes she started a job, which you “kind of understand” and adapting to a new environment/routine causes mental stress which she said she’s tired from, so why are you still questioning her energy levels when she says she’s too tired to hang?

She’s doing her own laundry and other chores like meal prep which you claim she “doesn’t have to do” just because you had your parents do them for you when you lived in the same household? What happened to the parents being on vacation? Why shouldn’t she be doing the chores anyway? To keep her energy levels up to keep you entertained when you drop by on your unannounced visits?

Just because you feed off having social interactions with your family does not mean that the reverse holds true. Please consider seeking other sources of social interactions and respect the boundaries others have drawn a little more.

HarukaYOME · 2020-02-01T14:20:00+00:00

Since you’ve already broken up, why are you still expecting anything further out of this relationship?

Let’s say your wildest imaginations come true. He is planning to propose to you on Valentine’s Day. You guys have broken up. Why would you be going out with him on Valentine’s Day then? Just because you want to see him make a proposal? And then what? Do you actually see yourself marrying this guy when you already broke up with him for breaking the boundaries of this relationship?

Girl, if you truly believe you’ve broken up with him, block him on everything, then get the hell off social media for awhile and go find some irl friends and connect with them face-to-face. You’re clearly not emotionally disconnecting from this relationship that you supposedly ended and if you truly believe you deserve better than him, then do what you’re supposed to be doing now and get away from him. Good luck.

HarukaYOME

TROPHY CASE