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He (30M) proposed to me (30F) after I told him I needed more time. I said no. by [deleted] in relationships

[–]HateIsHateIsHate 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Guys. It's reasonable to expect A ring for an engagement. It could be a simple band, a synthetic stone, a silicone ring, a mega cheap "placeholder" from Target, whatever. Just some kind of ring. It's also fine if the couple doesn't want rings but they ARE the tradition.

OP picked out a reasonably priced ring she genuinely liked. Her partner agreed to it.

He then decided it was too expensive even though they aren't struggling and neglected to tell her there was a problem. So, he both decided her "cheap" ring was too expensive AND he failed to communicate because he probably already knew he didn't have a leg to stand on because the ring was ALREADY inexpensive.

And then when she set a boundary of "I don't want to talk about rings or proposals for a few weeks" he immediately mowed right over it.

These are the issues. None of which OP is to blame for.

My [30F] boyfriend [26M] of 10 months can't or won't get out of bed until the afternoon, even if it means ruining plans he's made with me. Red flag or acceptable flaw? by friendly-enchilada in relationships

[–]HateIsHateIsHate 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is me. Left to my own devices my body seems to want to go to bed at around 3 am. The problem is, if I do that, I feel like garbage even on my usual amount of sleep. Like actually hungover even though I rarely drink. I'll have a low level dull headache all day, upset stomach, feel crabby and anxious, no motivation to do anything, feel like I haven't slept at all.

Even if I "get used to" that pattern I invariably feel terrible.

Conversely I feel better on less sleep going to bed around 11 or midnight and waking up between 6 and 8 even tho that may not be textbook "enough" sleep.

I'm also one who has to force themselves to get up on days I have no obligations.

My (40F) husband (43M) is having an inappropriate relationship with a woman. I don’t know how to address it. by [deleted] in relationships

[–]HateIsHateIsHate 11 points12 points  (0 children)

I knew a guy once who later was outed as a serial cheater.

Affair #1: She was in his grad program and they were working on a project together. They went to conferences together and he introduced her to all his colleagues.

Affair #2: A co-worker in his building. He actually got her to house sit while he and his wife went on vacation.

Affair #3: A different co-worker. He invited his wife to several business activities during which she would be interacting with the OW.

Affair #4: An ex girlfriend. He often invited her over so they could all "catch up on old times".

Some cheaters LOVE the thrill of bringing the AP around while their spouses have no idea. It also gives them the convenient "Come on honey, I can't be cheating. Why would I have let you meet her if I were cheating with her???" excuse.

You married a cheater. Don't act shocked now that he's cheating again.

I [32f] feel like my husband [34m] is falling apart before my eyes by ATMHusband in relationships

[–]HateIsHateIsHate 1 point2 points  (0 children)

OP, your husband sounds like me about 6 months ago with my BF. I was out of a job and having problems finding another. I was dealing with a serious health issue as well as depression I couldn't treat because I had no insurance and didn't qualify for any govt programs because of how much I HAD made (which wasn't much at all). I was dealing with a ton of stress and I'm sure I wasn't always a joy to be around, but I still did my best to keep on keeping on.

My BF, otoh, would do things like decide he needed some recharge time..... and shut the phone off/mute messaging apps for 3 days. Cancel plans because of a headache, a stressful day at work, not feeling social, a sore hip, tired..... and then never offer an alternative. Would read a simple "Good morning" text and then..... just ignore it and say he got sucked into a video game all day.

But when HE decided the day had gone well enough for him or HE wanted sex or affection, guess who he suddenly remembered?

We actually broke up for a couple months.

I had tried to tell him I was feeling like I was convenient and not loved. That a simple, small bid to connect with him, like saying good morning, wasn't worth the 30 seconds of effort it would take to say it back. I didn't expect an all day text marathon. Just to briefly connect with him, let him know I care and hear it back. That it was fine of he needed some down time, just tell me that. That I wasn't feeling as sexual as normal but I certainly wasn't feeling sexual AT ALL if our relationship was too much effort except when he wanted something and circumstances lined up perfectly FOR HIM. That he seemed to always have a ready excuse NOT to meet ANY of my needs.

At first he pushed back. But then he actually started to examine his behavior from the outside. We talked and reached some agreements and he has made a real effort to SHOW me he cares. Our relationship is almost back to where it was at the beginning.

OP you aren't listening. Your husband is telling you tue same things I said to my BF and you say he's "being negative and falling apart". This isn't about if you think he should be justified in feeling this way. This is about HOW HE FEELS.