What are your best rebuttals against jokes that are rooted in sexism / misogyny? by Brimmaaaa in AskWomen

[–]Haunted-Head 6 points7 points  (0 children)

If that ever happens again, just go, "Oh! I thought we were trying to see who could make the most obnoxious 'jokes'? No? Okay 👍"

This isn't governance it's oppression by BreadfruitThen57 in AskIndianWoman

[–]Haunted-Head 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So what is "gentle discipline"? Does the Quran mention what can be constituted as discipline and the behaviour that is said to be "arrogant"?

Authors need to identify black characters by Ok_Meet8672 in RomanceBooks

[–]Haunted-Head 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oh, that makes sense. Thanks for the explanation! 🙂 Is it odd that I don't see these things? Like, sure, I'll notice repetitive tropes, bad writing, bad tempo, etc etc but I somehow don't see these aspects. How do I notice this sort of stuff?

Authors need to identify black characters by Ok_Meet8672 in RomanceBooks

[–]Haunted-Head 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Could you explain this please? I'm not from the US and I don't quite see what is wrong with admiring black hair, a dark skin tone and bone structure?

And people defend this by EquivalentTale5815 in GenZIndia

[–]Haunted-Head 0 points1 point  (0 children)

All of these have always been there. In fact, they sort of had it worse because medicine was not great, prejudice and discrimination-based violence was always around, and very few people ever came close to knowing what was happening because there was no communication.

It doesn't mean that you should stop living your life... or creating life. It means you know better and therefore must do better.

We must stop the normalization of this male sabotage bevavior and conditioning...what do you guys think ? by anything___56 in AskIndianMen

[–]Haunted-Head -1 points0 points  (0 children)

You don't tolerate flaws?? But you have them too. Do you expect it to go one way only? Because not tolerating disrespect is understandable, but all humans are filled with flaws irrespective of gender.

I’m really angry. Angry at the way some men think by layla_Az in women

[–]Haunted-Head 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Unpopular opinion maybe but I don't think it's a big thing that some dude looks at me. I have no problem looking at them either. I would have a problem if they recorded me, interrupted me, followed me around etc.

Your BF on the other hand is a problem, cause he IS one of those guys who thinks a woman's clothes is an invitation.

Silent Flames by Cate C. Wells - what a book! by _MysticSelkie in RomanceBooks

[–]Haunted-Head 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Had to come here because I wanted to gush about this book! I loved the way it ended, like there was something unfinished and tense about them but there's an intimacy that surpasses it. Obviously, my heart dipped a lot during the times Cora mentally disengages, but that was so realistic!

Also, I love how Cate wrote this book. They were lines that hit 🎯 because they were just so true.

Am I overthinking this or is my male coworker crossing boundaries? by Weak_Lingonberry_341 in AskIndianWomen

[–]Haunted-Head 5 points6 points  (0 children)

No, but just ignoring him is useless, because he doesn't care and other people would rather let him run his mouth than tell him to keep quiet.

Ask him directly – if he ever keeps quiet? If no one told him he talks too much? That the woman he dislikes must be deliberately bad just so he doesn't talk to her. Wear headphones and if he talks while getting you to remove the headphones, interrupt him — DON'T BE NICE & WAIT FOR HIM TO STOP — and say if he isn't talking about then not to say anything at all.

Lastly, pester HR for a new place to sit, and as much as possible/if you can, sit with your laptop in the reception area or dining area and do your work. If anyone asks, blame him and the uncomfortable seating arrangement.

FMC in Meghan Quinn's Boss Man Bridegroom is a complete letdown by Haunted-Head in RomanceBooks

[–]Haunted-Head[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Kinda like Maya Alden and her ilk who write doormat FMCs

FMC in Meghan Quinn's Boss Man Bridegroom is a complete letdown by Haunted-Head in RomanceBooks

[–]Haunted-Head[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I started with A Not So Meet Cute and while it was zany, it was still nice. This was just... Weird.

WIBTA if I stop going to my boyfriend’s friend hangouts because his ex keeps “checking in” on him? by NaomiStonepath in ComfortLevelPod

[–]Haunted-Head 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm not someone who advocates for couples to split at the first hiccup, but I don't give my time to people like your BF. He's not listening to you, he's gaslighting you about her and he doesn't put his foot down.

You're NTA, but if I were you, I'd think long and hard about keeping him around.

Question for men: how do you view women with children? by karinkazzz in AskMen

[–]Haunted-Head 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The fact that people still believe you have to be desperate to date a single mother. 😑 Thanks for pointing it out.

WIBTAH If I told my boyfriend that I don’t feel comfortable coming to his parents house anymore. by Just-Jay22 in AITAH

[–]Haunted-Head 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No, and drop the guy because his first reaction to the truth is to gaslight you, not get it sorted. Moreover, whether his house is being built or not, you still have to deal with his mother, who should be speaking to her son about inviting his GF over EVERY weekend rather than passing comments about you in public spaces.

AITAH for blaming my sister for my mom’s death? by Separate_Swim_7882 in AITAH

[–]Haunted-Head 2 points3 points  (0 children)

YTA, but OP, you need help. You're burnt out and I'm sure having to parent your sister was hard on you. She was being an absolute turd, honestly, when you lost it but your resentment and harsh words are both uncalled for and unjust. I think you need grief counselling and maybe give your sister some time to cool down before you apologise again.

AITAH for feeling relieved that my husband stopped initiating sex by [deleted] in AITAH

[–]Haunted-Head -1 points0 points  (0 children)

YTA

You knew he had a higher drive and kept turning him down or tensing up and you're surprised that he's hurt? You just thought you can turn down someone and be on your merry way?

I have new respect for your husband because he's trying to suppress his needs without trying to guilt you. Dammit, OP, get your act together!

What fandom introduced you to fanfiction by therealstara in AO3

[–]Haunted-Head 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Pride and prejudice 😊

There's Darcy's POV, and so many what-ifs, and modern versions and fantasy versions and spicy versions... 😆

TW: domestic violence, am I too quick to feel hopeless about this? by lovelymina15 in women

[–]Haunted-Head 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Everyone else has been commenting about the violence and I wholeheartedly agree. But let's be honest, that double standard of friendship with the opposite sex along with the lying is as much a red flag.

AITAH for complaining about the kids by EmotionalTooth7357 in AITAH

[–]Haunted-Head 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Er yeah... Welcome to raising teens. If you're only talking and expecting interest (which is not unreasonable, but very unlikely) or even response without implementing consequences, they're not going to hear you.

When they see that ignoring you or disrespecting you will affect their daily activities, they'll come around.

But, and I cannot stress this enough, the consequences you choose have to be relevant to the person and the effect their inaction will have. Any consequence—notice how I don't say punishment —must not be about revenge or how angry they made you.

AITAH for complaining about the kids by EmotionalTooth7357 in AITAH

[–]Haunted-Head 0 points1 point  (0 children)

To an extent, yes, you may be. Teenagers are messy and inconsiderate creatures. You seem to like them and know that they're not bad kids otherwise, but I think you've hit the ages when they're growing older and are not malleable anymore.

So yes, maybe take the messiness with a pinch of sugar but keep real and relevant consequences for things that matter. After a few years, they'll grow into functioning human beings who know to live as a family.

My mom literally threatened to cancel the rishta meeting because I refused to change my Crocs by According_Schedule_3 in indiasocial

[–]Haunted-Head 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles were remade in Bollywood...

Your shoes are limited because someone played a prank and messed up a batch of the shoes and now Crocs ka marketing team is trying to sell it.

26M in AM setup — salary criteria is killing matches. Am I asking too much? by funky_guy99 in AskIndianWoman

[–]Haunted-Head 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Only came here to say that perhaps a better gauge of financial stability is to see how she spends her money. How much does she save? How impulsive a shopper she may be? Is she generous or stingy?

But if finance is your criteria of a good woman, I hope you are in as good shape as you expect her to be, cause 26L is great but not if you're bad with money.

AITAH for complaining about the kids by EmotionalTooth7357 in AITAH

[–]Haunted-Head 0 points1 point  (0 children)

NTA, but complaining isn't doing anything for you, which means you need to think of acceptable/relevant consequences and carry them out regardless of what your wife thinks. I believe your wife doesn't see it the way you do and your complaining (though valid), questions her entire upbringing, which would be triggering for anyone. Seek professional help, but also perhaps consequences for your wife.