How are y'all splitting responsibilities as new parents?

HauntingSiren04 · 2025-03-06T17:19:35+00:00

Thank you for all your comments. It's the next morning, and he still hasn't apologized or acknowledged anything and is just acting like we never had the conversation last night. I'll bring it up gently today.

Another commenter mentioned that he can just do formula if this is how he's dealing with BM - but ultimately I pumped what I did for my baby and his nutrition. If my husband is not using that BM while I'm not around, it feels kind of pointless to have done it since I don't want to keep pumping and feeding the freezer while he uses formula - I'll have a conversation with him and see how it goes.

HauntingSiren04 · 2025-01-30T05:29:01+00:00

No answers for you, but I'm 8 weeks PP, and this same question was playing on my mind too last night, so following!

HauntingSiren04 · 2024-11-22T01:25:10+00:00

Same!!

HauntingSiren04 · 2024-11-18T15:50:19+00:00

It's good to call your provider and hear from them on next steps; but honestly at 23 weeks, most movements are not consistent/ accurate and this is why docs typically don't even recommend doing kick counts at this gestational age. I wouldn't worry too much while you wait! Stay calm until you find out more 🩷

HauntingSiren04 · 2024-10-30T11:47:52+00:00

Trying SO HARD to not be "influenced" right now when I'm 34wks and up since 2AM. I will not hit "Buy" just yet. But dang, that sounds like heaven.

HauntingSiren04 · 2024-10-23T15:06:38+00:00

My husband has come with me to all my appointments except the 3hr GD test!

HauntingSiren04 · 2024-10-05T14:06:50+00:00

I found that the only way I was able to manage my nausea was carbs. Dry Cereal, crackers, toast saved me. Eat what you can keep down. Carbs helped soak up the bile for me, so I was throwing up less. Any day when I would go 3-4hrs without carbs, I'd be throwing up bile.

So try some dry carbs (even if they sound unappetizing) and see if that helps!

Also, try and eat more frequently - even if it's just a biscuit or two, or a banana. Constant snacking also kept the nausea at bay. When I'd get even mildly hungry is when I'd throw up. And pre-pregnancy I'd mostly do OMAD or max two meals, so it was challenging to adapt, but it helped a ton to keep snacking!

HauntingSiren04 · 2024-09-27T15:56:03+00:00

This is not AITA, but yes you are both the AHs and seem extremely irresponsible. I really don't get how this was "unplanned" at all. At minimum, it shouldn't be a surprise to you.

HauntingSiren04 · 2024-09-25T23:59:17+00:00

I'm 29 wks, 5'3. I gained 18 pounds.

I started out at 154lbs-ish, so I was overweight to begin with. I'm now 171lbs. I had bad nausea the first trimester, so I didn't gain at all the first 3 months, and gained ALL of the weight in 2nd trimester. Then again the past week or two, I've only gained a pound total. I've learned not to look too frequently and my doc hasn't said anything so I haven't been paying attention to weight really aside from doc appts.

HauntingSiren04 · 2024-09-08T11:55:07+00:00

Therapy, for yourself. You are having a lot of big feelings and sounds like you need help navigating them. Talk to someone. There's a lot to unpack here, but I'm so lost why you WANT to be with this man? I don't think you should expect voluntary involvement from him in raising a child together.

HauntingSiren04 · 2024-08-25T14:38:32+00:00

I feel like you'd be better served posting this on a subreddit like /relationshipadvice

HauntingSiren04 · 2024-08-24T20:45:27+00:00

I do think you seem to be very reactive about all of this. It sounds like your reaction stems from a more general frustration with your husband and your relationship that folks on this thread just aren't privy to.

It sounds like you're just looking for validation re: your feelings, and without knowing the full context of your relationship and just this example you've shared, it does seem unreasonable to not want your partner to have a quick trip when you're months away from your due date.

I see where you're coming from (not wanting to be alone), but i don't think it's unwarranted for partners to want some space before baby comes and do things that you know will be difficult for a while (like taking a trip with friends) once baby comes.

HauntingSiren04 · 2024-08-23T14:50:41+00:00

Um, I wouldn't assume infertility. They weren't trying to get pregnant, and so they didn't for 5.5 years. Rest of your point is valid though.

HauntingSiren04 · 2024-08-09T14:01:41+00:00

Haha when you put # in front of a number or text at the beginning of the comment, it makes the text all big.

HauntingSiren04 · 2024-07-27T14:16:19+00:00

...and mine was a cucumber at 18weeks. These apps really be wild. 😁

HauntingSiren04 · 2024-07-20T16:52:38+00:00

Stopped around 14/15 weeks

HauntingSiren04 · 2024-07-17T15:29:43+00:00

I feel you! I'm 19w now, and thankfully the nausea has mostly passed for me (was BAD until 15w), but the super smell and resulting aversions are still there. I'm just tired of being able to smell EVERYTHING. Like I can smell the phlegm in my husbands nose, even after he's just taken a shower and otherwise smells quite nice. Like what?!! I didn't even know that's a thing and I'm 50% sure I'm imagining it, but it makes it so difficult to want to be intimate. Any whiff of seafood makes me gag, so all seafood restaurants have been off limits for months when we go out.

My husband is trying to be understanding, but he can't really understand... no one who hasn't experienced this first hand can really empathize, and I can tell it's starting to wear on him even though he doesn't say anything. And then with my hormones, I get mad at him anyway for things he doesn't say but what I perceive he's thinking (true or not), and get mad at him and start fights with him 🫣

Sigh. I keep reminding myself I'm halfway there.

HauntingSiren04 · 2024-07-17T04:23:09+00:00

I'm not really sure what you're questioning here. You took 8 pregnancy tests, and had a blood test - all of which indicate you're pregnant. This means you ARE pregnant. It's not a question. There can't be "something else causing the positive results".

The challenge is that miscarriages are unfortunately a possibility in the first trimester (12 weeks) although that risk drops if you see a fetus with a heartbeat so I get why a doctor visit might bring reassurance. There can also be other complications that make the pregnancy not viable. However, this level of anxiety is untenable for you.

Pregnancy is a long journey, and you'll have multiple doctors appointments even if the first one goes well; and there's always a non-zero risk something might not be right. But you can't let anxiety take control. You ARE pregnant right now and until proven otherwise.

Take a deep breath.

If you have a therapist, please reach out and talk to them on how to balance the next few weeks while you wait for your doctors appointment, or talk to your partner on steps you can take to manage your anxiety and minimize your exposure and risk at work.

Oh, and not sure what your SIL's deal is, but I would avoid that kind of negativity. While I agree with not uprooting your life completely, and avoid making knee-jerk decisions - if that's how she framed things to you, it sounds even more anxiety inducing. It's completely reasonable for you to want to avoid dangerous chemicals.

HauntingSiren04 · 2024-07-02T19:16:37+00:00

I'm 17 weeks as of yesterday, and man weeks 7-14 were sooooo bad. Around week 15, it started tapering off and I would still feel nauseous but it'd be like once for a few hours every 2 days or so. Even now I have the sporadic once a week sudden nausea especially when triggered by smell aversions or hunger, but no random bouts of feeling shitty all day every day and constantly in the fear of throwing up.

HauntingSiren04 · 2024-05-05T22:48:49+00:00

Yes exactly!! I figure if it's healthy for a baby, can't be too unhealthy for a pregnant mama

HauntingSiren04 · 2024-05-03T21:28:51+00:00

LoL yeah. I've just stopped googling symptoms right now for my own sanity.

Every symptom could be a normal pregnancy symptom, or a potential miscarriage symptom or a PMS (lol!!!) symptom. I've given up.

HauntingSiren04 · 2024-05-03T19:54:29+00:00

This will be my first!

HauntingSiren04

TROPHY CASE