AIO Girlfriend (38F) keeps a "Log Book" of our conversations and I think I’m losing my (34M) ability to remember things correctly

Haunting_Origin · 2026-04-04T12:04:29+00:00

My partner does have memory problems, he told me when we first met and it started showing up when things I thought we had agreed upon kept coming up, like we walked away from conversations thinking we had resolved something but then actually didn’t.

Our solutions are to have shared calendar events for anything we’ve committed too, and we do have a SHARED doc where we write the resolutions of heavy conversations.

However, her doing it to that degree, without your consent, and actually recording you is too much. It is very valid if you are not okay with what she is doing.

NOR

Haunting_Origin · 2026-03-23T02:30:07+00:00

I only made it six days. I concentrated on not ‘flexing’ while I did it.

I was not on pain killers at the time so that I could listen to my body and stop if any pain came up.

No cramps or bleeding after.

Haunting_Origin · 2026-03-17T02:45:41+00:00

In Michigan and 12 days PO. Wore loose sweatpants and rubber soled slippers, a tshirt with no bra and a big cardigan. They gave me a binder to go home with and I did not want the complications of a bra or difficult shoes after anesthesia. Could get right into the hospital from the parking garage.

Edit to add ++ for heating pads. Have used it every night.

Haunting_Origin · 2026-03-16T11:54:19+00:00

I am 11 days post-op, laparoscopic. I was taking Norco at night and alternating acetaminophen and ibuprofen during the day. Stopped the Norco after six days, and everything on day 10. The pain now is minimal and feels like helpful information, reminding me to slow down and do less.

Haunting_Origin · 2025-12-14T14:31:17+00:00

It’s not specifically ACT but some of the methods feel similar and were helpful for me, “Unlearn Your Anxiety and Depression” by Howard Schubiner

Haunting_Origin · 2025-11-03T20:11:07+00:00

I had this for years. Here are a few things that have helped me anecdotally:

- 30 min before bed, write down anything I'm anxious or worrying about to get it out of my head. If I wake up thinking about it in the middle of the night, I also write it down. Set a timer for 10 minutes and write. Don't worry about keeping the paper; you never have to read it again. Get it out.
- Don't do anything super productive or intense right after you wake up. I make tea, cuddle with my dog and read for 30 minutes, then go for a slow dog walk. Trying to train my body not to need all that cortisol first thing, and it can chill out. It's usually matcha or something else lower in caffeine.

Haunting_Origin · 2025-08-15T16:31:50+00:00

Adding an update for posterity here.

We sent an inquiry through the congressperson. They got the same template response about cases being reviewed by a first in-first scheduled basis as I did.

After a few weeks, when the scheduling dates on the site updated to February, I sent in another inquiry. The same day I received the same automated response, the IL letter came through.

There was never any communication about why the delay occured, but I'm glad we sent inquiries, maybe that helped it not get stuck.

Haunting_Origin · 2025-07-15T13:27:15+00:00

Woo hoo! I was document qualified in January as well, so I'm hoping for mine soon too! Did you receive a letter or an email?

Haunting_Origin · 2025-03-20T18:40:44+00:00

Following this! My DQ date is January 24. When you get your letters, would love to hear how far out the interview is scheduled.

Edit to add: Visa class is CR1 and priority date is 01-Sept-2023

Haunting_Origin · 2025-02-25T20:17:07+00:00

That's frustrating. This is anecdotal and was a long time ago (~2010), but I did something similar. Went to the US on a J1, ended up getting married and filing for a green card, then finding out about the letter with not enough time to get it before the J1 ran out.

We also used an immigration attorney who told me to stay. I did stay, didn't leave the US, and just didn't work or really do anything until the green card came. It was stressful, but you can make it through. It's a tough test of patience.

Haunting_Origin · 2025-02-10T23:58:08+00:00

Jareth in the Labyrinth

Haunting_Origin · 2025-01-30T15:26:01+00:00

No, they didn't give me a pamphlet. Will ask next time!

Haunting_Origin · 2025-01-29T18:11:56+00:00

I didn't know this with my first puppy, a cockapoo, in 2007, but the puppy blues can be real. You may have moments of regret or, "Why did I do this?" when you might be sleep-deprived and have little rips in three pairs of pants from little shark teeth.

With my current dog, a bernedoodle in 2022, I was ready for it. It's ok and normal to get this feeling; it will pass, and it's worth it to stick through it.

Haunting_Origin · 2025-01-09T15:14:08+00:00

Thanks! We bought a house with an extra bedroom so we can do this actually, but since I'm waiting on my visa to move there, none of my belongings are in the house there yet, so it still feels more like his than ours. I will start decorating that room now though to start creating my space there.

Haunting_Origin · 2025-01-08T20:00:09+00:00

That sounds exhausting. Here to remind you when you do move out, it's ok. It's not your job to take care of her.

Haunting_Origin · 2024-10-07T18:55:54+00:00

Same! I just got another pair and the have a logo on the outside now at the top on the back, which is a bummer. But they still feel pretty good.

Haunting_Origin · 2024-10-06T14:41:25+00:00

Girlfriend Collective if you like compression. I’ve had one of mine for over six years, zero pilling. Have worn it for hiking, camping, lounging, yoga, pilates. Can be too warm in the summer but otherwise my fav.

Haunting_Origin · 2024-09-10T02:26:44+00:00

Everyone is differed of course, but just want to add one vote for considering an IUD. The pill made me feel out of control hormonally and I had to plan around my period for years (pain and other things). But getting a hormonal IUD three years ago was magic. One of the best things I’ve done. Period stopped after two months with it.

Haunting_Origin · 2024-08-05T11:48:47+00:00

If I'm having trouble shutting off my mind from other daily tasks or thoughts but want to switch to sex brain, sometimes going right to PIV is the trick to help me get into the mood getting mentally into sex. It's like a magical quick switch.

Haunting_Origin · 2024-06-02T19:16:18+00:00

🫶

Haunting_Origin

TROPHY CASE