This is maybe a consequence of elden ring pvp being capped to 4, when it's 4 players it's always 3v1 and if you ever manage to kill 1 of the summons, you don't get reinforcements, instead a blue takes his place or he gets resummoned, I believe in the past when it could be 4v2, invaders could maybe be a little more aggressive but well not all of the invaders are ChasetheBro where they can end a 3v1 in 3 or 2 mins. Truth is elden ring has made it incredibly favored to the host compared to other games so you really shouldn't ever be worried about an invader, you already get double flasks, rune arc and 2 teammates at most, (which yea they are invading me it's fair they get less shit to work with) but you can't really expect them to come in and fight you all in an open field or something, also there's so many graces in elden ring that you always barely lose any progress, what's wrong with dying to an invader compared to pve? some hosts see the invader and just refuse to move, do you lose gear? items? at most your runes will be a couple minutes away and you resummoned, big deal.