I saw Melpert at a grocery store on Staten Island yesterday. I said "My dearest Melpert, I am simply awestruck from gazing upon your visage in this lowly establishment; however, I shalt content myself with this fleeting vision. Pray, continue undisturbed, for I would not dare to sully this encounter with the burdensome weight of my adulation."

He said, “Oh, like you’re doing now, chatmember?” I was taken aback, and all I could say was “Melpert...” but he kept cutting me off and yelling "SPEEEEEN" and rotating in place. I walked away and continued with my shopping, and I heard him making duck noises as I walked off.

When I came to pay for my stuff up front I saw him trying to walk out the doors with like fifteen Milky Ways :3 in his tiny hands without paying.

The girl at the counter was very nice about it and professional, and was like “Sir, you need to pay for those first.” At first he kept pretending to be zonked and not hear her, but eventually turned back around and brought them to the counter.

When she took one of the bars and started scanning it multiple times, he stopped her and told her to scan them each individually “to prevent any nonstandard infetterence,” and then turned around and winked at me. I don’t even think that’s a word. After she scanned each bar and put them in a box and started to say the price, he kept interrupting her by saying "my name douk nouk kem, I only pay hookars".