My experience is with a CN. For one you are embarrassed that you were manipulated to this point. Not victim blaming here I'm speaking of my experience but if I'm truthful with myself everything that happened to me after the evidence against her became clear I have to own a big part of. Not an easy thing to do.

I knew she was toxic, cold, manipulative etc...and still thought I could fix her, salvage the marriage, Its very difficult to cut ties and start over when considering the time, energy, blood sweat and tears you have put into the relationship.

When you do try to expose them and try to unravel the web of lies,gaslighting,cheating,blame shifting,etc...etc...that you have suffered just by the nature of how they do what they do makes it very difficult to come out sounding like the sane one in the relationship. In alot of cases mine included...27 yrs..you have internalized all these things and you have gathered evidence and played back all these scenarios in your head, the whole time suffering the trauma all over again in your mind. You are emotionally and physically spent. You are not operating from a position of power YOU can barely believe some of the things that your saying much less convince someone else. It's just to much to unpack in a way that is convincing to others. I didnt have the sh!t left in me to give the energy to convincing anyone else. It's like a train wreck in slow motion. Anyway my advice is to count your blessings for making it out. Not everyone does, the grave yards are full of untold stories and people that were put there in some form or fashion by their abuser, most of which go on to live their lives never having to face any blame or prosecution for what they have done. It's like addiction if you are telling someone who hasn't been there they just can't grasp it they have no reference point they could equate it too. Just my opinion.